"I’ll never forget the night
We held hands when
You still had a girlfriend.
I knew you didn’t love her
As you reached for my hand.
We were on a dark back
Road dimly light by lantern
Like streetlights.
You told me you hadn’t
Felt this happy in years.
As we came to a stop
In the middle of the road.
You said you couldn’t
Continue to drive while
Being so distracted by your
Urges to kiss me.
I knew it was wrong, and it wasn’t
Fair to your girlfriend.
I knew I would regret it
But I leaned over and kissed
I kissed you right on
Your perfect lips.
I kissed a boy
Who belonged to someone
Else but I swear in that
Moment you were mine."

She wouldn’t matter anyway
She would
Feel so alone watching us
Fall in love.
You were my chance at
Sometimes I still see you
Through the ihop glass
I don’t bother to wave because
What is the point in waving
To someone who
Wasn’t there to break my fall."

remember the second night i knew you
 and how you covered up my mouth in your bedroom
because i was falling in love too loudly?

You remind me of a summer night.

You seem so endless,
but I know you will come to an end
before I’m ready to say goodbye.

Do you think there is a place,
Somewhere out of our reach,
Where you and I are only separated by the clothes on our body
Instead of dark interstate miles and late night phone calls?"

You don’t need to recognize my face.
You will see it in his eyes when he wakes up.

You don’t ever need to hear my voice.
He will talk about it in his sleep.

Please, keep the man you see in front of you.
I’ve already had the best of him.

You’ll never need to compare us.
Darling, I left a mark on that man
In the shape of my name
In a place where your standards will never reach.

You were like a stranger
With familiar qualities.
I tried to kiss your face
But you pulled away
And said you had a girlfriend.
Sometimes it’s best if 
We don’t speak at all. 
Sometimes it’s best that our
Lips don’t meet anymore.
Sometimes it’s best if 
We are strangers.
Atleast if we are strangers
I wont even know
You have a girlfriend.
I don’t know what to think
When I pass your name in my phone,
I don’t know what to think
When we haven’t talked in months.
It’s hard to accept our
Lips will never meet again.
It’s even harder to accept 
Your lips are meeting
Someone else’s.
Lets rewind , back to
When we woke up beside
Each other holding hands.
Can we just hold hands
For old times sake? 
Can our lips meet for old
Times sake?
Can our clothes come off 
For old times sake?
I miss you like the water
Misses the shore when the tide 
Goes back out. 
I miss you like an artist
Misses a painting they
Never finished painting. 
I miss you like a shot 
A basketball player
Took and missed.
I see you everywhere I go
I see you in the darkness we 
Shared when you kissed me
For the first time. 
I see you every time I look
Into the ocean because we
Once shared the water together.
Will my love for you
haunt me forever 
Or will you let me free? 
Will my love for you
Stain my heart like the 
Grease stain you left
On my favorite shirt? 
It’s like my tears have
Accumulated and have 
Formed an ocean 
between us now
And I don’t have a boat
To get me back to you. 
Maybe one day your
Ghost won’t haunt me anymore.
Maybe one day our lips
Will meet again.
Maybe one day you
Won’t have a girlfriend.

"I wish you’d stay.
After all you’ve seen inside this head,
I wish you’d stay.
I wish I had one little piece to
keep you here instead.
Because it’s been empty for so long now,
with just a handful passing through.
Maybe some day one of them will make it home,
but no matter how bad I wish it could be,
I guess it isn’t you."

"These words aren’t about you.
They’re about the person I let rent space
inside my heart.
They’re about the times I wished I could go back
and say to them, “No it’s okay, you can stay longer
I don’t care if your payment is late.”
Because having you there was enough.
But these words aren’t about you.
They’re for the person still hiding behind these drained eyes.
These shaking fingers.
These weak limbs.
And I’m still not sure which is better;
to feel everything at once or nothing at all.
Because sometimes it is both,
and you are the gushing waters drowning my lungs.
And sometimes it is neither,
and you are the words I wish I could take back.
We always left so many of them unsaid,
letting our bodies do the talking.
But now I wonder how many conversations
we’ve had with each other when we
thought we were asleep."

Because I could tell
You didn’t care in the
Way you said you did. 
I saw it in your eyes 
I felt it in your voice. 
Love was a chance
But felt like a choice. 
As I lay hear with
The rain coming down. 
I realize the rain is
All we have in common
You have probably 
Forgot the way I looked
When I slept
Next to you.
I can’t sleep these days
When my mind plays
Memories of me
And you on repeat.

I hope we meet again someday, Somewhere completely random that takes you by surprise. I hope when you see my face across the way your stomach fills with regret. I hope you won’t even be able to look at me still to that day because you are so upset you hurt me so terribly. I want you to see me and think ” wow she looks so happy.”
I hope by then I am happy. Maybe by then you won’t even cross my mind. Who knows I might just pass you right on by because I have forgot the way your blue eyes shine.
I hope one day we can both be unbearably happy. Maybe together or maybe separately but in the end all that matters is that we end up happy.

You can be lonely even when you are loved by many people, since you are still not anybody’s one and only."

Maybe even though you saw him with another woman, laughing and joking in a smoky bar with their heads held close together, you still think you have a shot with him.
You don’t.
This way of thinking will ruin you; you need to stop looking around corners and walking on eggshells when you’re near…

You still matter to me because I still write about you. I still write about missing you. I still write about you hurting me, me hurting you and the pain we inflicted on each other. I still write about the great and horrible times. It’s all still present with me, meaning you are too. I still write about you because there’s still something left to be written.
Our story left at “to be continued”

I got home and the only person I wanted to see was you. 
The only person I wanted to take the numbness away was you. 
But you’re nowhere to be found and I’m starting to see it’s not just a phase. 
The irony in telling myself, “I told you so”. 

Because sometimes,
I kiss boys who drive jeeps,
Boys that make me feel 
Like I am worth as
Much as that gum on
That shelf. 
Boys who leave when 
All the fun has come
And gone. 
They don’t even know
They took my heart
As they went. 
Boys who fill me with
Hopes and promises
Just to later let them
Flow away as fast
As they flowed in.
Boys that make me feel
like a princess or a queen
Only to realize everything
They ever said, they
Didn’t even mean. 
Boys who lay in 
My bed for hours
On end just to leave
And never plan
On returning again.
I wonder why my 
Heart feels numb
Maybe because every 
Boy that comes takes
A piece of my heart
And I don’t know
If I can get them back.

You want to kiss all kinds of different people, you want to wake up in a stranger’s bed maybe once or twice just to see if it feels good to feel nothing, you want to have a group of friends that feels like a tribe, a bonafide family. You want to go from one place to the next constantly and have your weekends feel like one long epic day. You want to dance to stupid music in your stupid room and have a nice job that doesn’t get in the way of living your life too much. You want to be less scared, less anxious, and more willing. Because if you’re closed off now, you can only imagine what you’ll be like later.

I want to wear a
blue dress on my
wedding day because
I’m not pure and
I think the sea
is the most beautiful
thing the most
innocent I have
ever been.

you have to value yourself. You have to want great things for your life. This sort of shit doesn’t happen overnight but it can and will happen if you want it.
Do you want it bad enough? Does the fear of being filled with regret in your thirties trump your fear of living today?
We shall see.

“It’s about misunderstandings between people and places, being disconnected and looking for moments of connection. There are so many moments in life when people don’t say what they mean, when they are just missing each other, waiting to run into each other in a hallway.”

I will not forget you, though. I don’t think that you particularly deserve my memory, nor do I flatter myself into believing that you return my sense of vague wistfulness. There is no part of me that wants to return to the limbo I existed in for so long, or even the often-imagined parallel universe in which you reciprocated my feelings to the letter. I do, however, want to remember what it feels like to be hurt, to want, to need something so desperately only to find out that your life is perfectly fine without it. As much as the little scar on my knee will always remind me to watch out when I am running, yours on my heart will teach me to be kind. Because I know what it feels like to be cast aside with indifference, and I know that it’s a pain from which the body itself takes a long time to recover. You will live in my mind as a cautionary tale, a fable of how much damage words can do — especially when they are insincere. And though I am not nostalgic for what we did have, I am hopeful about life being filled with everything we didn’t.”

Am I an option? Am I important? Am I just another girl to add to your list? I wanted to be special. I don’t want to be just another one. I wanna be important. I want you to think about me always. I want you to miss me. I don’t think it’s gonna happen like this anymore. I had hope but my hope is fading.

stupid you
Stupid me
Whose the dumber of the two
Me for believing you, 
Or you for being you.

"I don’t have it in me to like someone more than they like me. I can’t continue to have the same conversations with people not looking for serious relationships or only want a rebound. I’m not interested in being someone’s side girl, number two, or back-up plan and I’m equally disinterested in putting someone in that category. There should never be runner-ups in relationships."

It is like a car crash, I know the impact is coming soon
This is slow motion, the dreadful crash is just a loom
Should I stay or should i run
And just assume.
I told you I was upset,
You did nothing to make it better
With every passing second, minute
By minute my eyes grew wetter.
I used to feel so much passion
In this same very heart
Now all I feel is emptiness like
I did before the very start.
Do you even listen when I tell
You about the sadness inside of me
I cry, I cry, I cry, you just leave me be
How hard would it be to just check
Up on she?
So what I’m trying to say is
I don’t think you care about
What my feelings are
I’m not like you, I can’t make them
Go away at a dimly lite bar.
That was a bit harsh I admit it was
But so was inviting the infamous
And disinviting your girlfriend,thee
How silly of i to think this would ever mean anything to anyone other than me.

he used to kiss me
and thinking of it now
i’m not sure how “hello”
turned into intimacy
its over now
i don’t have much
left to say

except that i don’t
know how “then”
turned into today
the middle drops out
and all i have left is
the beginning
and the end

it keeps me from knowing
how to be anything
besides a “friend” 

if you think long enough
everything just becomes reversed 
like how douche-bag guys are just
wounded souls
and bitches are just insecure
and how mirrors only show
what you look like backwards and

common words you use everyday
don’t sound like English

your hopes and dreams aren’t attainable
and the middle of the day feels like
the middle of the night

and the fact that he doesn’t love you
becomes “well he might” 

You aren’t the shooting star you thought you’d be. To me though, you’ve always felt like the Fourth of July, you’ve always acted like a firework.
I wonder what it was like to fall…

"Every beginning is just the start of the end." I belong to everyone but no one at the same time. // You cheated on your girlfriend with me but I didn’t care because I wasn’t her.

Everyone is the same and once again I’m sleeping alone.

There are galaxies inside me waiting to be released. 
If you touch my skin in the sunlight your fingers will burn and I hope you learn your lesson. 
I am made up of things bigger than you boy.
The stars were hung in the sky just to light my path.

I just want to see you. I want to sit in your car with you and tell you all the ways I have planned out killing myself. You will sigh but you will sit there and listen. You will not tell me not to do it nor will you tell me negative things. I want to explain to you for the 500th time that the earth is a terrible place to live and you will agree. We will probably hold hands and my heart will beat so fast that I feel like I’m going into cardiac arrest. You make me feel safe. I want to sit beside you for the rest of my life. I want to experience every second for the rest of my life with you there to tell all about it. You make the world feel like a better place but once you leave the world goes back to black and grey. I feel trapped without you here painting the sky pretty colors just to make me smile. I want to sit in your car for hours with my feet on the dashboard while you tell me about the way you plan on becoming president one day and I’ll lie and say that i don’t think you can do it. Later we will lay in your bed while the moon is hanging in the sky and both be grateful that I never actually killed myself and that makes every second I waste without you worthwhile.

How hard is it to text someone?
Like hello I miss you.
I wish you missed me too.

I should have pretended I’d drank more
and kissed you on that couch
made a fool of myself again
just so you could taste how much I think of you
You can do great things
Things that will cause your father to
scratch his beard and ask for more details
Things greater than the small town you grew up in
I just wish you’d do them with me

I want to date an artist.
I want someone to write about me.
I want to be with someone who misses me every second we are apart.
Is that too much to ask for?

We are both here and it doesn’t really matter

He is my home and I hope I never lose my key.

The older you get the more you realize
that some words mean more than others
did and sometimes words can even
change meanings.
But in reality they aren’t changing their
meanings, people are just manipulating
them different ways to use to their
We are selfish but he wasn’t selfish he
was busy and he kept me wondering.
and when he posted that he was still
with her I was still wondering.
I swear I’m not naïve. I was just born
with an undeniable hope that one day
some guy will love me so much he will
do the exact opposite of what my father
But in reality every time I think I am
falling in love I slowly began to realize I
am letting history repeat itself minus the
gravel driveway and the swimming pool
where I got all those bee stings.
He told me she was boring and that if he
had to choose anyone to sit beside for
the rest of his life he would pick me.
I thought that was romantic enough to
overlook the fact that he still held her
hand 6 out of 7 days of the week.

I’m addicted to trying to fall in love with everyone I meet. I’m losing pieces of myself each time. Soon there will be nothing left

Too be honest I look for your face in every car I pass and hope
That I get to catch a glimpse of your smile on the freeway.
Sometimes I wonder if we would have ever fell in love if
I wouldn’t have pursued you at the venue while asking Alexandria
Sang a song about drowning in tides that kept getting higher.
I wonder if you loved me most when the tide was rising or
When the tide was drifting back out. My guess is the latter.
I have dreamed about you 5 out of 7 days this week and
As much as I miss your smile, I’m beginning to think it
Doesn’t miss me and just maybe these dreams are
Happening to remind me to move on.
So I’ll write that on the calendar and every day I don’t
Think about you I will put a X on the day.
But a month later instead of X’s I have wrote O’s.
I’m beginning to think I will never move on.
I will find a new way to move on, I swear I’ll get around
To it one day.
My friends have heard the story of our first kiss 1000 times
But sometimes when I’m on the bus I want to grab bystanders
By their shoulders and tell them the story to remind them to never
Fall in love.
Don’t let this happen to you.
Don’t let this happen to you.
Don’t let this happen to you."

If the world ends today I will be glad I wore this dress.

You only text me when you are lonely but I still reply.

I always regret caring too much, sharing too much, doing too much, feeling too much

If your going to heaven i want to go to hell.

If this is a competition I’m losing.

If my life was a movie it would go straight to dvd.

The only thing we have in common is our blood type..

"Why do I have to feel everything for a boy who feels nothing about me

"There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room. It’s like watching Paris from an express caboose heading in the opposite direction—every second the city gets smaller and smaller, only you feel it’s really you getting smaller and smaller and lonelier and lonelier, rushing away from all those lights and excitement at about a million miles an hour."

What made me not good
Enough for you?
What made you run away from me?
Was it the way I looked
When I woke up beside you?
Did I hold your hand too tight?
I know I didn’t deserve you
But i really thought it was
Going to work out this time.
Sometimes I felt like I was
Drowning in emotion for
You and you were still
Standing at the shore.

"I hope you never forget
The night I first spent
The night in your new apartment.
That was the night I
Realized how in love I was
And how in love you weren’t.
I only wanted to feel
Close to you.
I only wanted you to
Let me in.
You put up barricades
To keep me out
And I tried to knock them
Down and only ended
Up hurting myself.
Looking back I now
Realize I wasn’t in love
Because love doesn’t
Mean bending until you break
It means compromise
Without expectations"

I pass the hotel we
Used to stay at
I always see your ghost
Standing out front
Holding up a vacancy sign.

"I could never be the girl
You wanted,
I wanted
You but I wanted
to be
Myself more.

I hope one day I meet
You in a crowded coffee
Shop on the corner of my
Favorite road.
Of course we would
Run across each other
On the day I don’t brush
My hair.
Oh wait, I never brush my hair,
So that could be any day of
The week.
My dream guy would be wearing
A sleek black suit with ray bans
Across his tanned face,
I need to stop being so
Picky, I know.
Picky, picky, picky.
We could casually exchange
Numbers over our common
Interest of bright eyes,
And of course the rest would
Be history.
As I foresee the future,
You would text me all night
Even after I am fast asleep
Because you want me to
Wake up and smile…
I would patiently await your
Call from your high
Rise business job.
Our first date would be
To a medieval times because
You already knew how much
I had always wanted to go.
After awhile hours would
Become days and days
Would become weeks and
Soon we would be married.
On our perfect day you
Would cry as you saw
Me coming down the aisle
And I would cry because
I couldn’t believe I actually
Found my soulmate considering
I never brush my hair..
We could have our first
Dance to the bright eyes
Song that had brought
Us together in that
Crowded coffee shop.
Our loving
passion would transfer
In between the sheets
When the time finally
Came and I got to
Take off my purity ring.
Every night for the rest
Of my entire life I would
Content knowing I get
To come home to you."

Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning. –Gloria Steinem

Physically, yes I can live without you. 
I can eat, breathe, and sleep easily without you.
But if I’m not sharing half of a medium pizza with you, then I don’t want to eat.
And if I can’t feel your body move up and down as you breathe, I see no purpose in breathing.
And if I’m not waking up chest deep wrapped in your arms, then I don’t want to sleep.

Missing you has become a daily routine to the point where I’m so use to it that sometimes I don’t even realise that I still miss you.

I’d rather spend my entire life fighting with you than spend one second loving someone else.

I want to wake up at 2am with a kiss from you, not a text message.

the irony of somebody telling you everything is going to be okay when they’re the reason it’s not going to be

But thats the thing, I keep saying I want someone to be there but I really just want you.

Cheating is not a mistake.
If you’re truly in love with someone, you will not be able to kiss someone else without tasting your loved ones tears stain your lips. You will not be able to take your clothes off for someone else without feeling like a field ripped bare to its soil. Cheating is a choice, its a choice you made because you obviously didn’t give a single fuck about your relationship.

I promise to love you:
at 6am when you’re waking to go to work, to school, or whatever road life takes you on, and when you didn’t sleep well, your hair is a mess, and your eyes are sleepy.
at 8am when we say goodbye for the day and you’re rushing out the door with a cup of tea and your car keys in the other hand.
at 5pm when you’re exhausted from the day and people have worn you out and you feel like crying, and falling asleep and escaping from everything. I will kiss your forehead, and wrap myself in your arms.
at 10pm when you’re heading to bed, even though you won’t sleep for hours. Especially when we become a human knot wrapped up in sheets and kisses.
at 3am when loneliness and sadness do not destroy you, but consume you and when you weep without an explanation, I’ll kiss your lips softly and tell you you’re the absolute best and that things will be better soon
I will love you when you grow old, and I will love you after that. I will love you if I’m no longer here. I will love you, I will love you, and I will love you.

I was just thinking about someone else touching you and now I can’t decide on whether I want to break their hands or my own.

I’m not the girl your mother warns you about. I won’t kiss your best friend or break your heart. I won’t make you choose between what you love to do & me. I’m not cold. I’m not reckless.
I’m the girl your father mentions when your mom’s not around. I’m the girl that gets away.
I will love you more than anything. I will kiss you when you cry. I will stand by your side until you decide otherwise.
And you’re just like your father, so you will. You’ll let me go and I won’t look back, but you will. I promise you, you will. I’m that girl.

"When I look up at the stars, I can’t help but to wonder if you’re looking too."

Once upon a time, nothing hurt and
everything was beautiful.
Once upon a time, my eyes were
as bright as the moon.
Once upon a time, you loved me.
Once upon a time, my chest didn’t
ache, and it wasn’t hard to breathe.
Once upon a time, life was beautiful.
Once upon a time—
there is no once upon a time,
because that means my story
has come to an end;
my story is just beginning—
and so is yours.

"Note to self: you lived without him before, you can do it again."

"I wish I could have
at least told you

but I didn’t know there
was a goodbye
to be said."

"I thought about you today.
My heart didn’t hurt,
my chest didn’t ache,
and I smiled."

I suppose I can’t blame you, really.
It was me who put my fragile heart
into your hands, and it was me
who thought that your words
of love were true.
I mean, you never promised me forever,
you never even promised me tomorrow.
I was lucky enough to get three years
of your friendship.
So, I suppose I can’t blame you,
and I don’t regret you either;
and I truly hope you’re happy,
and that you’ve found everything
you were ever looking for,
even if I’m a not part of it.

"I can feel it deep within my bones.
Something resides within me,
reminding me that it’s almost time
for me to go;
it’s almost time
to say goodbye."

People are pieces of
the universe,
stitched together
with hope and magic.

"Your weight determines
your relationship with gravity;

but it should never determine
your relationship with yourself."

You promised me that
you would always love me,
and never leave.
I promised myself that
I would never let myself
believe you.
I guess neither of
us are very good at
keeping promises.

"i. i no longer love you.
ii. i am truly happy.
iii. breathing doesn’t hurt so much anymore.
iv. i love myself.
v. i’m looking forward to tomorrow."

"i. The way your lips tasted like whiskey.
ii. How your hands set my body on fire.
iii. The way your lips made my name sounded like a prayer.
iv. What it felt like to get drunk off your kiss.
v. The look in your eyes when you stopped loving me."