"Every beginning is just the start of the end." I belong to everyone but no one at the same time. // You cheated on your girlfriend with me but I didn’t care because I wasn’t her.

Everyone is the same and once again I’m sleeping alone.

There are galaxies inside me waiting to be released. 
If you touch my skin in the sunlight your fingers will burn and I hope you learn your lesson. 
I am made up of things bigger than you boy.
The stars were hung in the sky just to light my path.

I am still the same girl I was back then except I stopped believing in everything including you.

I just want to see you. I want to sit in your car with you and tell you all the ways I have planned out killing myself. You will sigh but you will sit there and listen. You will not tell me not to do it nor will you tell me negative things. I want to explain to you for the 500th time that the earth is a terrible place to live and you will agree. We will probably hold hands and my heart will beat so fast that I feel like I’m going into cardiac arrest. You make me feel safe. I want to sit beside you for the rest of my life. I want to experience every second for the rest of my life with you there to tell all about it. You make the world feel like a better place but once you leave the world goes back to black and grey. I feel trapped without you here painting the sky pretty colors just to make me smile. I want to sit in your car for hours with my feet on the dashboard while you tell me about the way you plan on becoming president one day and I’ll lie and say that i don’t think you can do it. Later we will lay in your bed while the moon is hanging in the sky and both be grateful that I never actually killed myself and that makes every second I waste without you worthwhile.

How hard is it to text someone?
Like hello I miss you.
I wish you missed me too.

I should have pretended I’d drank more
and kissed you on that couch
made a fool of myself again
just so you could taste how much I think of you

You can do great things
Things that will cause your father to
scratch his beard and ask for more details
Things greater than the small town you grew up in
I just wish you’d do them with me

I want to date an artist.
I want someone to write about me.
I want to be with someone who misses me every second we are apart.

Is that too much to ask for?

We are both here and it doesn’t really matter

He is my home and I hope I never lose my key.

You are like the moon in the way you are always disappearing.

The older you get the more you realize

that some words mean more than others

did and sometimes words can even

change meanings.

But in reality they aren’t changing their

meanings, people are just manipulating

them different ways to use to their

advantage.

We are selfish but he wasn’t selfish he

was busy and he kept me wondering.

and when he posted that he was still

with her I was still wondering.

I swear I’m not naïve. I was just born

with an undeniable hope that one day

some guy will love me so much he will

do the exact opposite of what my father

did.

But in reality every time I think I am

falling in love I slowly began to realize I

am letting history repeat itself minus the

gravel driveway and the swimming pool

where I got all those bee stings.

He told me she was boring and that if he

had to choose anyone to sit beside for

the rest of his life he would pick me.

I thought that was romantic enough to

overlook the fact that he still held her

hand 6 out of 7 days of the week.

I’m addicted to trying to fall in love with everyone I meet. I’m losing pieces of myself each time. Soon there will be nothing left

Too be honest I look for your face in every car I pass and hope
That I get to catch a glimpse of your smile on the freeway.
Sometimes I wonder if we would have ever fell in love if
I wouldn’t have pursued you at the venue while asking Alexandria
Sang a song about drowning in tides that kept getting higher.
I wonder if you loved me most when the tide was rising or
When the tide was drifting back out. My guess is the latter.
I have dreamed about you 5 out of 7 days this week and
As much as I miss your smile, I’m beginning to think it
Doesn’t miss me and just maybe these dreams are
Happening to remind me to move on.
So I’ll write that on the calendar and every day I don’t
Think about you I will put a X on the day.
But a month later instead of X’s I have wrote O’s.
I’m beginning to think I will never move on.
I will find a new way to move on, I swear I’ll get around
To it one day.
My friends have heard the story of our first kiss 1000 times
But sometimes when I’m on the bus I want to grab bystanders
By their shoulders and tell them the story to remind them to never
Fall in love.
Don’t let this happen to you.
Don’t let this happen to you.
Don’t let this happen to you."

If the world ends today I will be glad I wore this dress.

You only text me when you are lonely but I still reply.

I always regret caring too much, sharing too much, doing too much, feeling too much

If your going to heaven i want to go to hell.

If this is a competition I’m losing.

If my life was a movie it would go straight to dvd.

The only thing we have in common is our blood type..

"Why do I have to feel everything for a boy who feels nothing about me

"There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room. It’s like watching Paris from an express caboose heading in the opposite direction—every second the city gets smaller and smaller, only you feel it’s really you getting smaller and smaller and lonelier and lonelier, rushing away from all those lights and excitement at about a million miles an hour."

What made me not good
Enough for you?

What made you run away from me?

Was it the way I looked
When I woke up beside you?

Did I hold your hand too tight?

I know I didn’t deserve you
But i really thought it was
Going to work out this time.

Sometimes I felt like I was
Drowning in emotion for
You and you were still
Standing at the shore.

"I hope you never forget
The night I first spent
The night in your new apartment.
That was the night I
Realized how in love I was
And how in love you weren’t.
I only wanted to feel
Close to you.
I only wanted you to
Let me in.
You put up barricades
To keep me out
And I tried to knock them
Down and only ended
Up hurting myself.
Looking back I now
Realize I wasn’t in love
Because love doesn’t
Mean bending until you break
It means compromise
Without expectations"

I pass the hotel we
Used to stay at
sometimes.

I always see your ghost
Standing out front
Holding up a vacancy sign.

Haunting.

"I could never be the girl
You wanted,
I wanted
You but I wanted
to be
Myself more.

I hope one day I meet
You in a crowded coffee
Shop on the corner of my
Favorite road.
Of course we would
Run across each other
On the day I don’t brush
My hair.
Oh wait, I never brush my hair,
So that could be any day of
The week.
My dream guy would be wearing
A sleek black suit with ray bans
Across his tanned face,
I need to stop being so
Picky, I know.
Picky, picky, picky.
We could casually exchange
Numbers over our common
Interest of bright eyes,
And of course the rest would
Be history.
As I foresee the future,
You would text me all night
Even after I am fast asleep
Because you want me to
Wake up and smile…
I would patiently await your
Call from your high
Rise business job.
Our first date would be
To a medieval times because
You already knew how much
I had always wanted to go.
After awhile hours would
Become days and days
Would become weeks and
Soon we would be married.
On our perfect day you
Would cry as you saw
Me coming down the aisle
And I would cry because
I couldn’t believe I actually
Found my soulmate considering
I never brush my hair..
We could have our first
Dance to the bright eyes
Song that had brought
Us together in that
Crowded coffee shop.
Our loving
passion would transfer
In between the sheets
When the time finally
Came and I got to
Take off my purity ring.
Every night for the rest
Of my entire life I would
Content knowing I get
To come home to you."

Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning. –Gloria Steinem