If I had you, I wouldn’t need Wifi. // I was never gone, you left, and so I stopped waiting for you to come back. // Love isn’t always the reason to stay. Sometimes love is the reason to leave // I’m in love with people that are in love with the world..


René Magritte - The Lovers (1928) X Crystal Castles - Not in Love (2010)

If a train doesn’t stop at your station, it’s simply because it’s not your train. Don’t try to flag down the conductor and convince them to stop there, even if their own map says that they should just keep going. You may not realize it, but there’s another train trying to come toward you, unable to get into your station because a train that doesn’t even belong there is being delayed there by your intensity.

Marianne Williamson

If you’ve ever had to beg someone to stay in your life, I’m so sorry. It’s one of the most vulnerable, and heartbreaking things ever.

 And then things happen - these people leave us, or don’t love us, or don’t get us, or we don’t get them, and we lose and fail and hurt one another. " 

— John Green

cinderella by day
sinderella by night 

One day you’ll look back on this and realize just how much I cared and just how badly you fucked up.

— Midnight thoughts (I would have done anything for you)

I am so sorry to all the people I hurt while I was hurting. " 

The biggest mistake you can make is holding onto someone who has already let you go. " 

"I love you" doesn’t mean a fucking thing if you spit it down the throat of every girl who makes you feel less dead " 

And when you see me once more I hope it aches inside your bones to see me grow without you by my side. " 

I think it’s part of the human nature to crave the assurence that they’ll be missed after they’re gone. " 

You are my hesitant smile
You are my crippling doubt
You’re everything that I hide about myself
You are every lesson I’ve learned with every leaf that I’ve turned
The very reason why I wont let this happen again

I thought I was invincible and then you broke my fucking heart.

Even after all this time, I can still read you like a book. You’re thousands of miles away and I can just see the conflict in your eyes. You miss me. You know that, on some level, this was special. But you’re so terrified of getting hurt, you won’t commit.

Just because I find you attractive doesnt mean I like you. You appeal to my eyes, not my heart or mind. It’s not that deep.

He’s gone. He’s really gone. After all that has happened between us. He has left me alone. He built me up, to then destroy his own creation. I was only his second quality. And I thought I would be his masterpiece. But I wasn’t. I was only a little project. Nothing more. Only art, which no longer impressed him. Now he’s gone. Searching for a new art-project. And I think he never come back. He never build me up again. He left me broken. And since then, I can’t breath. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

The places hurt us more than the memories.

 Wait for someone who tells strangers about you.

Just because I don’t talk to you it doesn’t mean I still don’t think about you. I’m just distancing myself because I know I can’t have you.

I think that one of these days,” he said, “you’re going to have to find out where you want to go. And then you’ve got to start going there. But immediately. You can’t afford to lose a minute. Not you.

The sun still rises now that you’re gone, and the rain is going to fall whether I’m happy or not. The world didn’t stop when you left me, so why should I?

But how do I go forward without you?

Part of me wants to drop out of college and go travel the world.
Part of me wants to work really hard in college and change the world. 
Part of me wants to not work hard at all and marry some rich guy. 
And the other 97% of me just wants to sleep.

Never trust a man who howls at you like a wolf
without treating you like the moon.

Let her know or let her go.

Fear doesn’t shut you down; it wakes you up.

I made you special. I didn’t have to, but I did. I made you everything.

But I Guess That’s No One’s Fault But Mine 

People try to make sense of things, and if they don’t know the answers, they make them up, because for some, a wrong answer is better than none.

Ann Aguirre, Outpost

I won’t beg someone to love me. I learned long ago that there is no use in hopeless pleas of trying to make someone stay. I am too good to chase someone who does not know my worth and I am too wild to keep waiting for someone who doesn’t acknowledge my value. I want to be loved unconditionally. I shouldn’t have to fight so hard for it. I do not have the time to prove to someone that I am worth it. I shouldn’t have to prove any of that; I am worth more than that.

Ming D. Liu, A Story A Day #138

I’ts hard to look back and see the truth about people you love.

Sometimes I think I’ve said all the right things to the wrong person.

Jaide Scott

I threw everything away for you;
You threw me away for everything.

Everyone has two stories. One they want you to know and one they don’t.

Sometimes it’s not the people who change, it’s the mask that falls off.

I want to be wrapped in your arms, but instead you’re wrapped in my thoughts.

The moment you try to control me, is the moment that I walk away.

It’s about who you miss at 2 in the afternoon when you’re busy, not 2 in the morning when you’re lonely.

I never use your name in the words I write. I want you to myself.

Everyone changes, so I want to fall in love with every version of you.

She cries, but even through the hurt all she can say is “But I still love him.”

I can’t believe you don’t know that you are more than you are.
Every time our hands meet I swear I am touching a star.

I may not have loved you first but I loved you the most.

I would have loved you more,
I would have loved you the most, 
I would have loved you with everything
if only you would have just let me.

The next time we meet
again it will be different.
Because when the new
time comes and you are
in my arms once again
I will not hesitate to love
every inch of you and 
I will make sure that this
time around I will not
take your limited presence
for granted like I did
the first time we met.

I knew my feelings
for you were true
when I looked at myself,
at the world, and hated
everything I saw but still
had love for you.

I didn’t forget how to
love; I chose not to.

Don’t search for love, search for someone that makes you happy. Sooner or later, that happiness will evolve into love.

I would rather walk with my best friend in the dark, than alone in the light.

When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your memories?

I don’t want to meet someone else and write a new chapter. I want you. I want your chapter, your book. Nobody else. I’m not flexible.

I really want to forget how his touch felt like, how he smelt like, how he walked, how his smile looked like, how his kiss tasted, how his voice sounded. How he was. I want to forget. Please. Help me forget.

The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.

I can’t seem to think about you without thinking about her too.

Another’s. She will be another’s. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

Pablo Neruda, Tonight I Can Write

Don’t date a girl just because everyone else in the room can’t take their eyes off her, or that black dress hugs her curves perfectly. Date a girl who you think about while waiting for the subway. Who makes you want your words to sound like some pretentious asshole who sits at Starbucks all day with a laptop wrote them. Date a girl who makes you think of stargazing in the summer and hot drinks in the winter. Don’t date a girl you can see the rest of your life with, date a girl who makes certain moments of your life unforgettable. Don’t date a girl who if after two weeks she “won’t give it up” to you. Don’t date a girl who if after 6 months won’t give it up. Date a girl who you will wait till the ends of the earth till she’s ready, a girl who you will gladly light the candles for. Date a girl who you will do anything to get that smile that melts your heart. Don’t date a girl who you’re dependent on. Date a girl who makes you more dependent on yourself to be better.

1. Are her lips like the hot chocolate your mother made During the winter months when you were seven? Or have you not tasted her well enough to find the fine granules of cocoa that lightly come with each kiss?

2. Do you know her favorite songs? Not when she is happy, but when she is sad. What music reaches inside her ribcage and softly consoles her heart?

3. When she is sad, are you on the phone or are you at her door? Words do not wipe away tears, fingers do.

4. Do you know all the things that keep her up at night? Do you know why she has gone three days without sleep? Do you know of the insurmountable waves of sadness that wash over her like a tsunami?

5. Do you know the things to say that will calm her heartbeat? The places to touch? The places to love?

6. Everytime you see her do you kiss her like it’s the last time but love her like it’s the first?

7. Do you love her?

8. Do you love her?

Nishat Ahmed "Things I Want To Ask Your Boyfriend" 

Remember, it’s your job to look for something cool in everyone you meet; it’s not their job to show you. This is life, not a fucking sales convention.

August 24: you told me you wanted to wake up to me for the rest of your life.
September 20: you found happiness in her bed.

You’re an angel that has walked through hell. You can get through anything.

If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.

1. I don’t want to feel safe in other arms. 
2. I don’t want to thirst after other lips. 
3. I don’t want to make my smile dependent on other people.
4. I don’t want to lose myself in other eyes. 
5. I don’t want to see my home in people.
6. I don’t want to reminisce. 
7. I don’t want to waste my time for liars. 
9. I don’t want to shed tears for others. 
10. I don’t want to lay sleepless in my bed.
11. I don’t want to miss you in endless nights. 
12. I don’t want to wait for calls and messages.
13. I don’t want to need somebody.
14. I don’t want to do what other people expect from me.
15. I don’t want to lose my heart again.

Would this be love, you wouldn’t be gone.

I still taste your kiss after so many years on my lips.

I ran after a false illusion. But now I run after a real goal and it isn’t you anymore.

You never saw your home in my eyes, did you?

I kissed so many lips in hopes that they would taste like yours.

I forgot how you smell, but I can never forget how your arms felt around my hips.

Find someone who will wait hours for your call.

You don’t look at me like yesterday. Your eyes look straight through me, they no longer see me. But my eyes, they look at you the same way since years.

With you my priorities become my options.

Who wants to pick a daisy, if he can have a rose?

Everything reminds me of you.
Every voice sounds like yours.
But they aren’t you.
They can never be like you.

I was never more than the reflection in your eyes.

I’ve chosen you. Everytime. But you’ve never chosen me. And you never will.

I look back on it and realize how wrong we were for each other.

The most fucked up thing the universe can do to a person is send them the love of their life at the wrong time.



things aren’t the same as they were four months ago

All I wish to do is touch you;
by that I mean touch your
heart in a way that will make you forget all the people who
have reached for your body

Maybe it won’t work out. But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever.

I choose you. And I’ll choose you, over and over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I’ll keep choosing you.

person: are you athletic?
me: i run
person: oh sweet
me: *whispers* a blog.

Paris is like the girl that’s rude to you at a bar at first, and then you eventually fall in love with her the most.

We travel for romance, 
we travel for architecture, 
and we travel to be lost.

She says she doesn’t care.
But look deep into her eyes.


Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us. Tell me we’ll never get used to it.

I’m here. I wouldn’t go away. I’m always here.

Don’t waste your love on somebody, who doesn’t value it.

always remember that the people you love are the only dangerous ones

If we’re dating, you can have your freedom…you’re not my prisoner. Just stay loyal & be honest. That’s all I ask.

To new beginnings.

A man won’t let go if he really loves you. Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is another reason he is not willing to tell. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship. There is only one reason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.

You have to be odd to be number one.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say that I’m over you. I still compare everyone else to you. You still make me smile and I still remember the sound of your voice when you would sing to me. I still miss you and I still wish that you would choose me. So no, I’m not over you but I’ve accepted that, at least right now, we aren’t meant to be.

Let me refresh your memory alright? I was the one who took your bullshit. I was the one who actually cared about you. I was the one who stuck around even when everyone told me to leave. I was the one who loved you even when you gave me every reason not to. Lastly, I was the one who was there for you when no one else was. I hope you can sleep on that.

You think you “played” me BUT, who ended up losing? I mean what did I lose? A boy that didn’t appreciate what I did for him? What did you let go? A girl that would go out her way just to please you and someone that rode with you through thick and thin. A girl who loved you regardless of your flaws (trust me there was a lot). You can easily be replaced, but a girl like me? Good luck finding a girl who put up with you like I did. Sorry, you played your damn self.
Love conquers all: if it doesn’t, then it’s not love.

Or, maybe you’re just an asshole.

by Ten words story: there’s no excuse for fucking with someone else’s feelings, mind and spirit

“One day I just woke up and realized that I can’t touch yesterday. So why the heck was I letting it touch me?”

But baby I cannot breathe when you’re not with me.

And though I know we’re siners walking through hell trying our hardest to reconnect and actually participate,
We can’t. Baby we cant.

I often dwell over our love story and how it made me feel alive.
But then i think about the day when you walked away and how you took a part of my soul which i’ve been searching everywhere for. hoping to find it again. But baby i cant. I can’t.

I’ve fallen in love with the idea of heartbreak as it made me feel something.
I am numb but it’s better then when I was anorexic.

I’m sorry,
my demons have been screaming lately.

I feel this pain in my chest when someone mentions your name
and i wonder if this is what it feels like to be dying.
To fade away into an infinite amount of nothing
and finally feel weightless.

But then i remember what it felt like to be in your embrace
and how the smell of your favorite cologne felt comforting
and I crave it, baby i crave it.

And i remember that night when you kissed me gently
before whispering in my ear how much you loved and missed me
and i cannot help but wonder who taught you to speak bullets and create so many wounds.

Your words are symphonies to my ears and baby i’ve been feeling so deaf ever since you left.

But i know you’re not the same
And i know things have changed
But i cannot help but secretely hope
For the day when you’re going to wake up and finally come home.

Baby you were my home.

It still aches when i think about everything and how even though the conclusion is heartbeaking,
I fear we are cursed to remain nothing.
Absolutely Nothing.

I know its only a matter of time
Before you forget the color or my eyes
Or how i look like at sun rise.
You’ll forget about my favorite color
And my favoirite gum flavor.

You’ll forget everything about me
And though i try to make it seem
Like its actually fine
Baby you and I both know it would be a lie.

I loved you more than I have ever loved anyone before.

Baby, you built me back up only to tear me down after,
Only then did i realize that sometimes the one you’d take a bullet for ends up behind the trigger.

I’ve always been torn between waiting for my destiny or fighting for what I want.

is there a word for “i’m okay but it’s a fragile kind of okay so be gentle with me”?

I was never completely there, I was always partially lost inside my head.
"She has got so much love in her heart. But the thought of letting it out, showing her cards, scares her to death."

But the day you eventually hold hands and she comments on how strong your grip is I hope you remember the way I used to curl my fist and let it sink into the depth of your palm, pretending you were my protector and the outside world was dangerous. Baby, it really wasn’t, but you were.

by Ten words story: I would lie to myself pretending we were perfect.

I love the way you’re trying to forget me.
It’s quite amusing really.
Watching you as you try to erase me
And everything we ever had.

Buddy, you have to realize that you cannot get rid of me so fast.

Someday you’ll hold another girl’s hand and find yourself comparing how her’s feels inside yours compared to mine. Are her fingers as gracefully long? Does her fist feel as small?

Then you’ll move on and kiss her, or maybe another, on a crumby friday evening.
You’ll find yourself comparing her lips with mine, as if we were meant to be one.

You’ll eventually forget it, and move on from the whole kissing thing.

But then one night you’ll quickly find yourself going further with a girl, and though your hormones will feel outrageously satisfied your mind will go completely wild because even though you try to ignore it, the girl wont be me and once you know it, you’ll remember those nights where we laid around in the darkness of my room only to later on fall asleep in each other’s arms.

Buddy, i’m telling you now. This girl wont speak the words i whispered at four AM when you couldnt close those green eyes of yours. She wont kiss your scars like I did when they burnt so much you couldnt stop touching them. Perhaps she wont even be able to recognize the pain scattered around your irises the same way I did. She wont draw the same houses and flowers on your bare back when you’re watching “The Shining” late at night.

She wont write the same poems, read the same books and listen to the same music. She wont laugh the same or hold you the same.

She might not even deal with the way you think, or how depress you really feel.

Buddy, this is a notice that you have indeed lost me.

And if you happen to see me in your dreams. Dont come for me, dont come for me.

I beg you to stay where you are, far away, with the billions of girls you touched yet ceased to love.

by Ten words story: My ex-boyfriend is looking for something in every girl he goes for and nobody knows what exactly, perhaps attention or the satisfaction of knowing he leaves scars on girl’s hearts

Does it ever hit you? The memory of me.

by Ten words story: I feel like an old photograph burried in his backyard.

A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms.

Being a nice person is so fun

Waiter messes something up? You can see the relief on their faces when you don’t scream and swear at them about it

Extra tickets at an arcade/prize place? Watch a little kid’s face light up when you give them a bunch of tickets

There are too many assholes in this world. Be a nice person.

date the kind of people who will still respect you when you no longer love them
date the kind of people who will still respect you when they no longer love you
do not waste your emotional capacities on people whose respect for you is conditional
You wanted her. But she was out of reach. Therefore you settled for me.

But then I met those other guys who seemed way more interested by the colors in my mind and it made me realize how terrible you were towards me.
by Ten words story: Unlike what you decided to believe, you didn’t treat me like a human.

But I felt invisible by your side: like I was not important.
by Ten words story: I keep hearing you talk about how nobody will ever love you, if only you realized how much I would’ve died for you to feel the same way I do. I fucking loved you.

Nevertheless, I still believe that there is good in the world.
by Ten words story: I refuse to grow cold.

I got fooled by the spiral of your irises.
by Ten words story: you didn’t look like a heartbreaker when I met you.

stay away from people who make you feel like you are hard to love

This is the most important thing I have ever read.

I don’t know how to begin,
My thoughts seem to be racing,
i should be working, running, anything.

This isn’t supposed to be a poem…

I wanted you to tell me I was enough,
to say i was everything you ever thought of.
But we both know i’m not.

I wanted you to do the conversation,
to ask me about my hopes and dreams and if I manage to eat the complementary cookie that goes with my coffee.
I still can’t.

I wanted you to ask about my new school and if the cafeteria feels as lonely as the previous one and if my teachers are nice and if i shake when i enter my class.
I still do sometimes.

I wanted you to read my poems which seem to always turn into prose, and i wanted you to kiss me after understanding that they were all about you and that time when you left me on the side of the road.

But then I think that maybe, perhaps, you really don’t care and i have to be okay with that.

I caught myself crying last night because I couldn’t erase the words you spoke from my mind,
and your kisses still burn my flesh and I still want you here more than anything else but I don’t even know when I’ll see you again.

And it hurts my soul because i’ve been repaying last Friday night a thousand times in my mind
and i cannot find where it went wrong,
maybe i’m not that strong?

I fear i may be falling faster than you ever will,
because I promised myself months ago to stop writing about you
but fuck damn, thats all i ever do.

And i have this urge
to throw these words in your fucking face
as hard as you did when you told me your heart was already stolen.

Truth is it broke my heart
and though i know it wont matter in ten years,
i don’t fucking care
because right now it hurts like hell.

And i’m laying on the bed we almost had sex in
and i keep thinking about how i kept saying these ridiculous things about me having your name in my fucking veins
and how you simply nodded and smiled
every. single. time.

And i just cannot believe i let you in my head again
let alone my bed.

My body was clear of your hands
and now I find myself having to start all over again.

and i’m so disappointed yet so in love
and fuck you! why did you have to fuck me up,
let alone us.

Looks like i’ll have to change my room again and cut my fucking hair short and pretend that i’m actually not alone…

by //I love him, but he doesn’t love me at all. I haven’t seen him since last friday,

I wonder if you ever think of what we could’ve been if that one thing never happened.
by Ten words story: I thought we would last longer.

You are deserving of the most pure, whole, and authentic love. I hope you know that.
by My favorite thing to say to people who matter to me.

But sometimes you just have to accept that some things simply cannot remain the same.
by Ten words story: It’s time to let go.

It’s not about what you did exactly. It’s about how you knew your importence in my life yet did it anyways.
by I trusted you.

Sit back and relax as you watch me make my dreams come true. Anyways, none of them involve you.
by You lost me.

Do not let anyone ever treat you like you’re simply temporary.

I look for someone older hoping he’ll keep me from making the mistakes we generally do when we’re young.
by Ten words story: I couldn’t bear another immature heartbreak.

Never ruin an apology with an excuse.

i’d rather choke than to breath in your absence.
i’d rather feel your wrath than feel another’s passion.
i’d rather die on the day that i give you a kiss,
than spend the rest of my life knowing i never did.

I can’t sleep knowing you see her in your dreams.
by Ten words story: I wanted it to be me.

You’re the first person who broke my heart. For the rest of my life, you will always be the one who hurt me the most. Don’t forget that.

I am not her as she will never be me. Remember that when you look into her eyes and ask her what she thinks about the stars and she answers that they simply appear when it gets dark.
by Ten words story: She could never compare your eyes to the moon.

[…] but I remember that night when you kissed me gently 
before whispering in my ear how much you loved and missed me 
and i cannot help but wonder who taught you to speak bullets and create so many wounds.
by You wrecked me.

I still find myself being sad over things that happened a long time ago

If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph.

I’ve been hurt by many. Mainly by those who didnt mean to harm me. Which makes it hard for me to hate them.

I’m not fine as in fine, but fine as in you don’t have to worry about me.

I’ve been writing a book about you, It hurts me so much
by I can’t seem to burn it.

Why did you have to love her?
by Ten words story: Questions that keep me up at night

I dont miss him.
Not when i fall alsleep or when i wake up in the morning.
I dont miss his touch or his words, neither do i miss his remarks or his empty kisses.

But sometimes, it’s two in the afternoon and i’m watching a movie that i know he’d love, or listening to a song which the lyrics define him so well, i feel like screaming them out.

Sometimes, it’s two in the afternoon and I think, hear, smell or see something or someone that automatically makes me think of him. That’s when I miss him. Because no matter how excited I am, I cannot share it. He is everywhere yet nowhere at the same time and I just cannot explain how or why.

You’re an interesting species. An interesting mix. You’re capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you’re not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we’ve found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other.
by Carl Sagan, Contact

The sun is perfect and you woke this morning. You have enough language in your mouth to be understood. You have a name, and someone wants to call it. Five fingers on your hand and someone wants to hold it. If we just start there, every beautiful thing that has and will ever exist is possible. If we start there, everything, for a moment, is right in the world.

Look me in the eyes and tell me all we had were lies

I find myself to be in love with everything and everyone around me.
by This will eventually be the cause of my death

'I fell in love with you the first time I saw you,' she said quietly. He pretended not to have heard, as if the compliment were purely formal.

I want him back, but it’s not him that I see as I fear the one I love has disappeared into the depths of his mind. I hope he’s okay. I love him, I always will. But he is gone and I need to leave eventually as well. Hope is the worse, it makes us stay, and it makes us hold on. I can’t cry.”

April 20th 2014

“We smoked together and it felt insane. He never wanted me to see him this way. I’m so high and I just want to kiss him again. He loves Emma, I can’t.”

April 26th 2014

“We went for a walk and my sister ruined everything. I felt like crying because goddamn I still love him. I can’t cry.” “She told me: ‘He loves Emma! You’re temporary!” and I nodded, but my heart broke silently. I don’t want to be temporary.”

May 10th 2014

“He kissed me and I felt it to the tip of my toes, I wonder if he feels the same. I can’t stop thinking that he mistook me for Emma, I’m not Emma…”

May 16th 2014

“I slept in his arms again and I was so in love. I hope this isn’t some kind of mistake. Please…”

May 24th 2014

“He thinks it was a mistake. I cried and I’m ashamed.”

May 30th 2013

“I watched him sleep so peacefully, unable to find the tiredness within me. I looked at him and thought about everything and though I love him with all my heart. I am not in love with him. He built poems and prose out of me, making me move on from my demons but get attached to heartbreak instead. This is self-destruction itself. I have to move on from this. His arms feel safe, they really do, but they are not home. He is not the same and neither am I. We have to be okay with that. I will always love him, but I cannot be with him.”

June 1st 2014

“He told me he’s not sure to be over the girl in my class, I took the missing pieces of my heart back. I’m walking away now. It’s over”

Dear you,

I haven’t written in a while. Please don’t take it personnal. I’ve been neglecting everything in general: including myself.

I spent the past couple months being sad over a boy who built me up only to tear me down after.

I then started working really hard on trying to build myself up only to come in realization that I am not a lego house. I do not come with a manuel. I’ve been moving things around, trying to shape myself into somewhat of a house. Though i know, i will never be a castle again.

Am i being weird?Perhaps. I’m sorry. My thoughts have been so misleading lately, i cannot seem to understand them.

I made him a mixtape which is filled with a couple of tunes that reminded me of him.

I don’t know why i try so hard for this boy. It maddens me sometimes. I shouldnt try so hard you know..?

I also wrote him a letter, which tore my heart to pieces.
Truth is i didnt give a damn about the mixtape because music is personnal therefore he wouldnt understand how relatable and sentimental those tracks are to me.

As for the letter—its different. Much different.

I wrote about each and every track and how much they meant to me, i also mentionned a couple which i felt were relatable during those six months of complete solitude and ache.

I wrote him about us as well and how we weren’t meant to be. I told him i didnt love him, i told him i had moved on.

And i did.

I told him about seeing each other again someday and maybe things would be okay. I felt as if i was writing my suicide letter, and that is why i felt so uneasy with the idea of giving it to him.

The letter was the last part of me, it was everything i had left to say.
Now i am left completely speachless.
my letters have been given and my book has been finished. I’m lacking of words, motivation and creativity and i just…i feel like i’m done.

I don’t know what to do, i can’t breathe right now, my heart feel clenched inside my chest.

I can’t sleep, yet neither can i stay awake. I am left in some sort of bizzar inbetween, i feel numb.My ED has been loud lately, so loud. I can’t think. I’m listing reasons to stay but i just, i can’t figure out how things can get better you know..? Please don’t think i’m somewhat of a looney.

I’ll be okay.

Love always,

I think it’s brave to try to be happy.

It doesnt matter what you think, its all about what you do. I could’ve loved you forever but you didnt deserve me to.

Be committed, not attached. But more importantly, know the difference.

I’m sorry you were not truly loved and that it made you cruel.

I just want someone who won’t get annoyed when I text them six times or in all caps. Someone I can go on long drives with and can sing along to the radio with. Someone I can eat pizza with at 2am and kiss at 6pm. Someone who chooses me everyday and never thinks twice about it.

You told me you feared that I deserved better, I responded by saying I didnt want better.
I told you i feared not to be good enough for you. You responded by saying you didn’t even know what would be good enough or not.
by You broke my heart.

You only missed my voice
when nobody else called you.

My mind says to stay away but my heart tells me it beats for you.
by Why did you have to save me? Now im attached but you really just want to leave

I can’t wait to move in with someone and cook for them and own dogs and watch movies and have a live-in-best-friend who I get to bang

let’s just watch movies in just our underwear and kiss a lot

A woman can hide her love for forty years, but she cannot hide her hatred for more than an hour.

"this reminded me of you" is the cutest thing. like i dont care if its a song or a photo or a youtube video i will be excited

humans are the only species that pay to live on this planet

I wanna be able to cuddle with somebody and watch movies under blankets and eat junk food and tell them I love you without any hesitation

If they can’t make you laugh then don’t fuck them.