I’ll never forget how the sadness and loneliness felt good and bad at the same time. Sometimes still does.

English is a difficult language. 
It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

moment of silence for all my wasted potential

"I just wanna go on more adventures. Be around good energy. Connect with people. Learn new things. Grow

"You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart."



"I crave so much more than just a physical connection. I crave words and depth. I crave who you are and where you came from, your desires and fears. I yearn to know every inch of you beyond the surface."

i do not know how long you expect me to wait for you, but when you come back, i probably won’t be there.

all of these bridges, and you decided to burn mine…

"I pushed everyone else away because they weren’t you."


"The sunrise, of course, doesn’t care if we watch it or not. It will keep on being beautiful, even if no one bothers to look at it."



You know when you have a dream about a guy and then you wake up and you’re practically in love with him

"In a relationship, you need somebody who’s going to call you out, not somebody who’s going to let everything slide. You need somebody who doesn’t want to live without you, but can. Not somebody that is dependent, but somebody who is stronger with you. A relationship is two people, not one."





"It seemed like you could know me. Like you could understand anything I told you. And the more we spoke, I knew why. The same things excited us. The same things concerned us."


"I do not think I’m easy to define. I have a wandering mind. And I’m not anything that you think I am."



"I long so much to make beautiful things. But beautiful things require effort and disappointment and perseverance."



I still haven’t deleted all these memories




The first thing I will show you is the worst of me. I will leave your text messages unanswered and I will tell you all the reasons past lovers have left me. I will tell you the stories of the hurt I’ve caused the people that have loved me and I will sneak out of your room while you sleep. I will move away when you try to hold my hand and I will fight you about anything and everything.
And if you stay, I will show you my best. I don’t know what that is yet, but I’ll make something up for you.



"It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring — they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay. It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unloveable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are — that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others — is a strength. Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough."



"Someone will tell you that she’s seeing someone someday and that she’s happy and your hands will stop working. You’ll have to work hard to hold onto whatever you’re holding. I hope it’s not glass, I hope it’s not breakable. Suddenly you’ll remember everything that you ever loved about her. Everything that ever moved you to tears, made your insides feel like they were tying themselves into knots. That she was loyal, that she was open for you, that she smiled against your mouth when you kissed. That it felt easy, like God had put the two of you together deliberately, like it had been the plan all along. But for whatever reason, you let her go and you thought that it was the right thing and for a little while, it felt like you knew exactly what you were doing. Except now all the parts of you that touched her knows that you’re never going to be able to touch her again and that hurts. Even your fingers are sad, even your stomach is aching from the loss of it all. You’re never going to get that again and that’s why your regret looks like artwork that would have been masterpiece if you’d finished it. Your regret looks like plucking a flower before it’s bloomed. So maybe you’ll call her and you’ll tell her that you miss her and she’ll sound gentle on the phone but not in love with you anymore. She’ll say ‘we happened and we were important but you let me go, I’m sorry, but you let me go’ and that’s how you’ll know."



please fucking support girls who find comfort in makeup and always use it because they don’t feel good without it, don’t tell them they should not use it. we do not use it to attract boys, we use it to feel good about ourselves. the “makeup is why u take a girl swimming on the first date” is a fucked up mentality



If someone cheats on you they do not love you, remember that. If someone cheats on you they do not care about you as much as they say they do. If someone cheats on you it means that for a split second you were off their mind long enough for them to put another person in arms that should only be for you. If someone cheats on you, dear god, I hope you don’t go back to them because you are worth so much more than that.

"And I loved this boy in the deepest ways that only the ocean would understand"

“I wanted it to be you. God damn, I really did.”



The best apology is making sure your actions never repeat themselves



“I still unconsciously look for you in everyone I meet.”

“It was worth it, you know? 
Being loved, and loving you.
I’ll never regret it.”

you deserve someone who isn’t embarrassed to love you and tells all their friends about you and saves your selfies, whether they’re good or bad to look at when they miss you and loses sleep to talk to you and tells you how much they love you and how beautiful you are all the time and i really hope you find that one day because you deserve to be loved




“Cut the poison out of your life. No matter what - or whom - it may be.”

“My biggest fear is that you already forgot about me.”

“I always thought we would find our way back to each other.
But this time it’s different.
Now, I realize that maybe our paths will never cross again. And gosh, it hurts.”

“I called because I wanted you to know that despite everything that’s happened and all the miles between us right now, I still think about the way it was in the beginning.”


missinyouiskillingme:

I miss the old us.



what i say: i'm bored
what i mean: none of my usual hobbies are stimulating enough for me anymore  and i am desperately craving human interaction in a vain attempt to keep myself from slipping into the abyss of insanity


"
Don’t tell anyone that you think you are ugly. Even if you do. And when the woman at the counter says you have beautiful skin, do not burn up a brighter shade. Believe her. Smile, say thank you.
Never reveal how much you hate the sound of your voice over the phone. Let the first boy who calls you like clockwork every night, listen to you fall asleep.
When he asks the next day, if you’ve ever noticed how your voice changes as sleep starts to take you, say yes. Believe him when he says, he could listen to you all day.
Don’t say how much you hate your teeth when he tells you that you have a beautiful smile. Don’t clench your lips together when he says your mouth makes him think of home, smile wider.
We all have parts of ourselves we’d like to change but we have parts of us that are beautiful too. Don’t let the voices in your head, take you for a fool. None of this will stop love finding its way to you.
"

"It’s different now. Things are different. I’m different."

Try to see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how amazing you are. 








"A serious girl, when she finds someone who calms her spirit and quiets her busy thoughts, will love you so fiercely, it will defy even her own logic and reasoning."




not to offend anyone here but, im beautiful and anyone would be lucky to have me



I’m not your girl. I’m not anyone’s girl. I am my own girl.

Goodbye? Oh no, please. Can’t we just go back to page one and start all over again?





some loves been made to exist, and not to happen.


The phrase ‘everything is temporary’ never hit me until I thought of you.

I was young and unsure what love is. 
Until you left. Then I knew.

I’m not scared that you’ll let go. 
I’m scared that I’ll hold on anyway.


I’m not sure what I’d hate more: Chasing you, or losing you.

I tried so hard to be everything to you, and somehow I became nothing.


I’m constantly caught between giving him one more chance and it’ll all be worth it, and running while I still can.

I miss cuddling. And I miss touching without sexual purpose. I miss someone wanting to comfort and care for me. And someone who wanted to sleep with and wake up to me.
I miss all those things,
But I don’t miss
you.


I am like the ocean.
I will roll out to greet you, 
But will always come back into myself.

If he only sees you at night, 
he’s not yours

I refuse to give you my body for you to give me your heart.

Oh God I feel so sick and I’m not sure if its something I ate or someone I love(d)

Silly boy, Do not flatter yourself into thinking you have broken me. You are not the first boy to confess his supposed love and pray forever, then change his mind. You have not broken me, but I will break you.


I don’t think I’ll ever miss something as trivial as a man’s touch. I think what I’ll really miss is that someone wanted to spend the day with me. That he truly desired to talk to me all day. That he yearned to know me. The actual touching part is great too, but that’s not so hard to find.

You didn’t miss me yesterday,
why should I miss you today?

I thought we were on the same page, but we’re not on the same book

You could very easily love me more. That’s the truth. The possibility is there. But you could never make me feel like I deserve it. He does. That’s why he wins. 


It feels like you’re gone already.
I wanna ask you to stay,
But that’s not exactly part of the plan.
It feels like my heart is breaking,
But that’s not part of the plan either. 









All my words are the right ones,
But you’re wrong person to tell them to.
The truth is, I could be lying to you everyday
And you’d never know the difference.
I mean it when I say it’s not our time now.
I mean it when I say I’m not sure if it ever will be.



You were special, you always will be
But I warned you that I get tired of people that love too easily.
Truth is, I still think I should have loved you.
Truth is, I’m still glad I didn’t try. 













How

kevin stranart











It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it and they love you and you know it but it’s a party and you’re both talking to other people and you’re laughing and shining and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes. But not because you’re possessive, or it’s precisely sexual, but because that is your person in this life and it’s funny and sad but only because this life will end and it’s this secret world that exists right there. In public. Unnoticed. That no one else knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess.


He does realize what he lost. And that’s why he can’t speak to you now.



All too often women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget. In actuality, when we love rightly we know that the healthy, loving response to cruelty and abuse is putting ourselves out of harm’s way.



You’re the pain, you’re the cure.


I guess our parents stayed together simply because they didnt have 7,000 other people following them or liking their pictures at their disposal when their marriage or relationship got hard. Nowadays when our relationship hits the rocks we can just log in and get high off this false sense of security and appreciation.

We value our worth based on comments and inbox messages filled with colourful words that have no depth. Meanwhile, the person who loves you when there is no filter on your face becomes an option and the rest of the world who just sees your representative becomes priority. Don’t lose what is real chasing behind what only appears to be.









I am slowly learning that some people are not good for me, no matter how much I love them. I deserve someone who is gentle and kind, because my soul is getting tired. Realizing that I deserve something good is one of the first steps.



Then you grow up and realize that sometimes, no one is to blame when things fall apart.
“You know, when I was younger and people walked away, I would always blame them. And if I couldn’t blame them, I would blame myself.
I would tell myself that it was my fault for not being enough for them.”
"You grew up,” you said.
“I did. I grew up and I realize that it’s no one’s wrong doing when they choose to walk away. In life, you get that choice of staying or leaving. You can’t help it if you want to leave and you can’t stay somewhere if you’re always trying to pry the door opened. Eventually, you’ll find a way out; whether you break the window or smash the door, if you want to run, you will be gone.
I stopped getting angry at the world when it fell apart. It’s out of anyone’s control. Things change; people come and people go. And you can’t hold that against them.”

I have lost and loved and won and cried myself to the person I am today.








choose your last words.

do not mock a pain that you haven't endured

Sometimes I pray that every woman with a good heart puts her heart in good hands." // How dangerous,” she thought, “to finally have something worth losing.

How starved you must have been that my heart became a meal for your ego.
ppl are so interested in aliens but how would they expect to learn about cultures from different planets/solar systems if they can’t even accept different cultures on ya own damn planet from your own damn species

I used to dislike being sensitive. I thought it made me weak. But take away that single trait, and you take away the very essence of who I am. You take away my conscience, my ability to empathize, my intuition, my creativity, my deep appreciation of the little things, my vivid inner life, my keen awareness to others pain and my passion for it all.


"There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise."


fahdes:

following back randoms x


I think we’ve officially reached that annoying time in the year where it’s sweater weather in the morning, but by midday, if you wear a sweater, you die from heatstroke.

“dress for the job you want not the job you have”
*shows up at law firm in lingerie and angel wings*

dream date: we get chinese food delivered, it’s raining, i take a shower in your shower (it must be a nice shower with good water pressure), you let me wear your clothes after i shower, you have a cat that i can pet, we watch movies, i fall asleep in your bed for like fifteen hours, you fall in love with me

my life is just one unattainable dark-haired guy after another

Teacher: You can't write an essay overnight.
Exam: You have one hour to write an essay.



me a week before exams: im gonna study so hard and get an A and be the top in my class. I can doooo it.
me the night before exams: success and failure are human constructions and aren't real. i am less than a speck in the entire known universe and all of time. time is a construct of humans. we are all going to die, so it doesnt really matter. 



 

"Love is more than a noun—it is a verb; it is more than a feeling—it is caring, sharing, helping, sacrificing."



stop crying. Now its my turn





"Being a good person means that you have to accept all the disappointment and pain that comes your way and still manage to have a pure, good heart."




"The best revenge is to treat them better than they treated you; to let your good manners silence them; because you are a better person."

 "If they can leave you so easily, they were never really meant for you. Let them go

"If it doesn’t matter get rid of it. If you can’t get rid of it, it matters."

"Today I woke up. I am alive. I am healthy. Can’t ask for more. 

"If they can’t accept your past then they don’t need to be a part of your life."

"You need to be content with small steps. That’s all life is. Small steps that you take every day so when you look back down the road it all adds up and you know you covered some distance. It took me a long time to accept that, but it’s true. You need to have patience."


"Like a wild flower; she spent her days, allowing herself to grow, not many knew of her struggle, but eventually all; knew of her light."


"Self love, self respect, and self worth. There is a reason why they all start with ‘self.’ You cannot find them in anyone else."

"Sometimes, feeling pain is a good thing because it shows you that people can hurt you. But most of all, it reminds you how lucky you are to have those who won’t ever dare treat you that way."



"You can’t stop a person from doing what they want to do. They’ll start 

lying to you to continue doing it."

"I appreciate effort. No matter how small, silly or irrelevant, I appreciate effort."


"Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care."


She’s completely unexplainable. You think she’s the good girl, but once you get to know her, you realize she’s everything. She’s crazy, she’s funny, she’s honest, and you never know what she’ll do next.


If you can just stop loving her then you never really loved her at all. Love doesn’t work that way. If you ever truly love someone, then it never goes away. It can become something else. There are all different sorts of love. It can even become hate—a thin line and all that—and, really, hate is just another kind of caring.


All i cared about was you and all you cared about was you and that’s how I got my heart broken



The most intimate emotion two people can share is neither love nor desire but pain.


Soon you’ll realize that many people will love the idea of you but will lack the maturity to handle the reality of you.



If you want to make peace, you don’t talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies.


After we broke up I saw myself as a different person and decided that life isn’t about pleasing others all the time, it’s about pleasing yourself as well. So I made change in my life. I painted my room, I brought new furniture that made my room feel like a home, I went shopping and bought way too many clothes, I changed my style, I cut my hair, I grew my nails, I changed. I didn’t change to make you want me back, I changed so that I loved myself and didn’t need you to do it for me.




I lost my mind trying to be on yours.






You never really see how toxic someone is until you breathe fresher air.




Not everyone can feel things as deeply as you. Most people, their feelings are … bland, tasteless. They’ll never understand what it’s like to read a poem and feel almost like they’re flying, or to see a bleeding fish and feel grief that shatters their heart…




I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.



If a person always leaves you with mixed feelings, uncertainty and an unsettled mind, you don’t need to place your energy there.


she was sexy. not in the way her body or curves looked, but in the way her mind and soul worked.




“Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.” ― nayyirah waheed


I wanna run away with someone in the middle of the night and go on adventures and see the world and eat at cheap truck stops and sit on top of our car and look at the stars and just be somewhere other than here. 


We take better care of criminals than homeless people.


Sometimes people say terrible things when they’re scared. They don’t mean to, but they can’t help it. They lash out because if they can see that their words hurt someone else, it makes them feel as if they aren’t completely powerless.

We’re supposed to feel. We’re supposed to love. And hate. And hurt. And grieve. And break and be destroyed, and we build ourselves to be destroyed again, that is human. That is humanity, that’s being alive. That’s the point. That’s the entire point. Don’t avoid it. Don’t extinguish it.






Buddhism teaches that joy and happiness arise from letting go. Please sit down and take an inventory of your life. There are things you’ve been hanging on to that really are not useful and deprive you of your freedom. Find the courage to let them go.

She’s the kind of girl you never see coming. It starts off simple and two months later you’re saying, you are my world. She told me ‘I want a kiss’ and I knew I was in trouble. I want to spend every night tucked up in the mystery that is her mind. What is she thinking? What does she want? Is this enough for her? Am I enough for her? Some people you can read; she’s a novel written in another language. Things like this are never easily understood. It was unexpected. It gives me hope that the world is a good place. She gives me hope that I am good. I look into her eyes and I’m in her soul, completely transfixed. She wraps her arms around me and I swear no one has ever felt safer in this world. Fingers intertwined with mine and I’m sure we can take on the world. Lying next to her I feel her magic, the kind you can only find in a girl who finds humor in everything. She kisses me and I sprout wings that take me to a place where we’re together. Sometimes she laughs and I swear it’s the cure for any disease. It healed me. She feels like home. No better than that; she feels like where I belong, where I was always supposed to be. I wasn’t looking for anyone; she’s it. She’s the kind of girl that can do that, change your life.


i always pretend to be such a coldhearted bitch but in reality i cry about everything, all the time. literally, always crying.





"Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that."


A serious girl, when she finds someone who calms her spirit and quiets her busy thoughts, will love you so fiercely, it will defy even her own logic and reasoning.





"WHEN THE EROTIC AND TENDER ARE MIXED IN A WOMAN, THEY FORM A POWERFUL BOND - A FIXATION."


Close.

I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.


I think of you - only you - continuously, every instant of my life.




I get unbelievably affectionate when I’m half asleep. 


he was the prettiest hell I have ever been in. I didn’t mind burning at all.


Infatuation is when you find somebody who is absolutelyperfect.

Love is when you realize that they aren’t and it doesn’t matter.



You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but let’s be honest, having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world.


Not all love is gentle. Sometimes it’s gritty and dirty and possessive, sometimes it’s not supposed to be careful or soft at all. Sometimes it feels like teeth.




He looked at me like I was crazy. Most of my lovers do, and that’s partly why they love me, and partly why they leave.


The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention… A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.



loveandporkbelly:

Asada & al pastor tacos and horchata from Leo’s Taco Truck in Los Angeles CA.

i want to learn you
i want to learn with you
i want to learn from you

But you will never find anyone who’s better at loving you than me



If you ever leave me, I will stay there where you left me and wait for you to come back. Even if you don’t.


  •  curious, a born explorer, hidden strengths and talents, not what they appear, able to take on many roles and forms, cheerful in hard times//rude, prone to “bad” language, uses insults, hard to understand, devil’s advocate, uses their strengths the wrong way

  •  incredible potential, stronger than they look, takes what life throws at them and rolls with it, kind, able to speak with/make friends with all different circles, good sense of humor//refuses to take responsibility, ignores their own faults, lacks a backbone, tries to worm out of issues instead of addressing them correctly, takes the easy way
  •  adaptable and resourceful, good at what they do, smart, tries things anyway even when they don’t think they’ll work, honest and frank, helpful (even if they complain about it), lives many lives//jumbled and scattered, doesn’t make an effort to correct themselves/thinks saying sorry is enough, inappropriate, doesn’t watch their mouth and doesn’t care to
  •  tries so hard at all they do, more sensitive than they let on, tries their best to protect everyone, incredibly witty, works with what they got, resourceful, cares so much//doesn’t practice what they preach, gives back-handed compliments, will butt into matters that don’t concern them, judgemental, “holier than thou”, treats others as children
  •  strong as heck but won’t brag about it, shows great care for their friends, does what they must even when scared, thoughtful, friendly, thinks of others happiness, likes to share and collaborate//overly excitable, hangs around the wrong crowd, hard to understand at times, doesn’t listen, little volume control, easily swayed, does wrong without knowing it
  •  meticulous, refined, skilled in many areas, eye for beauty, inner strength, protective and will always do their best for others, maintains peace, thoughtful and moves with purpose, patient//unyielding, hard to get to know, suffocating, over-protective, martyr, prone to gossip
  •  thinks ahead, not to be underestimated, knows when to have fun and knows when to get serious, observant, weird but in a fun way, clever, very colorful, artistic//hides behind a mask, puts an overly confident front up to hide behind, self-doubting, lazy, too chill at times, avoidant
  •  confident and determined, full of surprises, clever, always has something new up their sleeve, great vision, incredible willpower, able to see things through to the end, fights their own battles, doesn’t let anything stop them//tends to ramble, thinks their path in the best and only path, over-confident at times, forces others to think and do what they like, sneaky, controlling
  •  incredibly STRONG, loyal and faithful, sticks to their beliefs, has a wide range of interests and talents, keeps trying even after things don’t work, knows how to move on and rebuild, frank and uncomplicated//hears what they want to hear, can steamroll others, doesn’t allow people to talk, weird in a weird way, takes things too far, doesn’t pick up on the feelings of others
  •  generally mild, just likes to talk and chill out, always open to listen to you vent, checks up on you, takes things as they come, faithful, tries to believe in the best, silly, knows how to lighten the mood//probably planning on killing you, undercover, uses silence to their advantage, manipulates others, incredibly angry, extreme
  •  strong convictions, world-changing views and goals, fights until the end, will go after what they want, takes chances, intelligent, seems serious but is really just kinda goofy, is a kid at heart, cares a lot but doesn’t always know how to show it//can come off as kind of a creep, panders for sympathy and attention, can’t pick up on cues from other people, invasive, takes things too far
  •  cares about so many things, will take care of you, treats people as equals, cheerful and bubbly, great sense of humor, good with puns, stronger than they look, treats people like they want to be treated, kind, fun//takes things to extremes, can be reckless, such escapists they would hide on the moon if they could, selfish at times, shirks responsibility, sailor mouth

"I crave adventure, attention, and you."

do you ever see an opinion that’s so terrible that you actually feel bad for that person’s brain

 

"I love that moment. When you’re on a long car ride, or listening to music, or reading. And you completely zone out. You forget your troubles, and everyone around you. You’re focused on that one thing, and that one thing only. You’re content, and everything seems peaceful."


  

 


I hope the person you like, likes you back and things work out



You should tell people how important they are to you. Not because they could leave at any moment, but because they’re here now, and it’s worth saying something.



 

Your 5 might be somebody else’s 10 so don’t be fucking rude about who people find attractive and about who people love just because you don’t see what they do.

"None of them ever loved you, because none of them ever knew you."



"Stop comparing where you’re at with where everyone else is. It doesn’t move you farther ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace. It just feeds your shame, fuels your feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately, it keeps you stuck. The reality is that there is no one correct path in life. Everyone has their own unique journey."


 

"I’ve been hurt so bad and I still love so hard. I admire my heart for that."

Once some guy mentioned that when i laugh my mouth looks really weird and now whenever i laugh around people i don’t know 100% i cover my lower face with my hands. 
A girl who didn’t like one of my friends told her that her eyes squint different sizes when she smiles, and now whenever she’s happy she look’s down or away.
You’ve gotta be careful with what you say to people, because it might turn their happiness into insecurities.
Do you ever feel people staring at you and you like forget how to walk


"and my heart, 
which is very big, 
I promise it is very large, 
a monster of sorts, 
takes it all in— 
all in comes the fury of love"





"I enjoy controlled loneliness. I like wandering around the city alone. I’m not afraid of coming back to an empty flat and lying down in an empty bed. I’m afraid of having no one to miss, of having no one to love."
Kuba Wojewodzki,

i miss how you wanted me.

find someone
who knows
you’re sad
just by the change
of tone in your
voice
be with someone
who loves the
feature that
you hate the most
fall in love with
someone who
looks at you and
knows they don’t
want anyone else




 



 i crave touch, yet i flinch every time someone is close enough.



i really need to drive to a field in the middle of nowhere and scream for hours




removing toxic people from your life is actually not the difficult part. not feeling guilty about it is.

and i’m still hoping that maybe one day i’ll get that drunk text from you saying how much you miss me. not because i miss you, but because i hope you regret letting it end the way it did.

i hope you look for me in everyone you meet.








your life is not an episode of skins. things will never look quite as good as they do in a faded, sun-drenched polaroid; your days are not an editorial from lula. your life is not a sofia coppola movie, or a chuck palahniuk novel, or a charles bukowski poem. grace coddington isn’t your creative director. bon iver and joy division don’t play softly in the background at appropriate moments. your hysterical teenage diary isn’t a work of art. your room probably isn’t selby material. your life isn’t a tumblr screencap. every word that comes out of your mouth will not be beautiful and poignant, infinitely quotable. your pain will not be pretty. crying till you vomit is always shit. you cannot romanticize hurt. or sadness. or loneliness. you will have homework, and hangovers and bad hair days. the train being late won’t lead to any fateful encounters, it will make you late. sometimes your work will suck. sometimes you will suck. far too often, everything will suck - and not in a wes anderson kind of way. and there is no divine consolation - only the knowledge that we will hopefully experience the full spectrum - and that sometimes, just sometimes, life will feel like a coppola film.

i still get sad about everything that happened. every now and then it just hits me. sometimes, it takes days for me to get over it.

do you ever wonder what could have been? because i do all the time




when you meet someone who tries their hardest to stick by you regardless of how difficult you are, keep them. keep them at all costs because finding someone who cares enough to look past your flaws isn’t something that happens every day.


i’ve found that growing up means being honest. about what i want. what i need. what i feel. who i am.




 


communicate: talk about things, the good and bad. build trusts. be honest. be faithful. be there for one another. make time for one another. leave the past to the past, which include ex’s. know that having arguments are normal. know that you won’t always be happy. don’t expect change. appreciate the flaws. appreciate each other. become best friends. lastly, love each other unconditionally.


kindness makes you the most beautiful person in the world. no matter what you look like.

i think that if i could fall asleep next to you every night, i’d never really be sad again.
fuckboy is a weakass dude who ain’t shit.
a fuckboy is the guy who will go around calling women “thirsty hoes” but like 30 profile pictures in a row and comment “hot” under one of them because he thinks somehow it’ll get him laid.
a fuckboy is the guy who calls girls sluts but goes around begging chicks for nudes out of fucking nowhere.
a fuckboy is the guy who sends unrequested dick pics with no context to women he’s barely spoken to.
a fuckboy is a guy who regularly uses phrases like “bros before hoes”
a fuckboy is a guy whose idea of flirting is “what would u do if i was there right now lol” 
a fuckboy can often be spotted by his asking if you want to play “the 21 questions game” which is a trap to ask if you’re a virgin or not
a fuckboy is a guy who will call you a prude if you don’t want to fuck anyone, but call you a slut if you want to fuck someone who isn’t him.
a fuckboy is a guy who will disrespect you and try and get with you in the same breath.
a fuckboy is a guy whose idea of foreplay is kind of touching your clit twice before he tries to move on to sex
a fuckboy is a guy who tries to text you even when he already has a girl
a fuckboy is a guy who continues to hit on you even when you’ve said no
a fuckboy is a guy who pretend to invite you over for “netflix and pizza” which is a bummer because it’s totally ruined legitimately inviting people over for netflix and pizza
a fuckboy is any guy who’s ever told you “smile, beautiful” while you’re just walking down the street minding your own fucking business
a fuckboy is the kind of guy you have to lie about having a boyfriend to in order to get him to leave you alone.
a fuckboy is a guy who will tell you “you’re not like the other girls” like that’s a compliment because he doesn’t have any respect for them.
a fuckboy is a guy who will tell you “my exes were all crazy” even though you know them to be totally fine, kind, measured people.
a fuckboy is a guy who will tell you “guys don’t like it when you -bullshit bullshit bullshit-” and try to shame you because of your weight, hair, style, use of makeup or anything else that you do in order to express yourself because in their tiny fuckboy minds you only exist to attract them.




 





you deserve happiness. so i left.


i just wanna go on more adventures. be around good energy. connect with people. learn new things. grow.






i don’t believe in love at first sight but i do believe in seeing someone from across the room and knowing instantly that they’re going to matter to you.

rule 1: don’t let someone be too important in your life.



and you make jokes because you’re afraid to take anything seriously. because if you take things seriously, they matter.


i love getting messages more than anything else okay i don’t even care what the message says but just the fact that someone took the time out of their day to send me a message makes me want to sing walking on sunshine and bake chocolate chip cookies




"you are your greatest investment. being selfish is not always a bad thing if your heart is in the right place."