They say I should stop watering a dead flower. But what if it was the most precious flower I had? / At least we're under the same sky and we see the same clouds. You never know how much space you occupy in other's people lives. // Making mistakes is better than faking perfection. // The sadness won’t go away. Learn to turn it into an art. // Maybe I should’ve chased warm smiles instead of cold eyes.

"We hate surrendering, yet we surrender ourselves to something every single day. Nearly everything else we give ourselves to will consume more than it gives back; it does not have our best interests in mind; it drains us. While surrendering to God is so difficult in the beginning, we end up sacrificing what we never needed anyway: the anger, unforgiveness, pride, ego, lust."

Silence is just like the color black. It’s meaningful. Strong. Deep. It does absolutely nothing yet explains everything. You can write pages about it. It’s elegant and noble without trying. All this, and it doesn’t even make a sound.

Those blue eyes had more darkness than any brown eyes I had ever seen before.

I have a special skill of feeling too much when I shouldn’t, and feeling nothing when I should.

The closer we got physically, the more distant we got mentally.
I saw your eyes
I saw your heart
Both were beautiful
But I couldn’t touch

I wanted to be free
I wanted to be happy
Drinking and driving
Playing a game called survivin
Yesterday’s pleasures are
Today’s troubles

People say actions speak louder than words, but feelings speak louder than both.

As time passes, everything is starting to make more sense, but at the same time everything is losing its meaning.

Just because people act like it’s your fault; it doesn’t mean you are guilty.

Out of luck
Out of love
Out of mind
Out of focus
Out of line
Out of reach
Out of sight
Out of order
Out of hand
Out of control 
Writers are most likely liars. Not because of their imagination, but because of their potential pasts. A writer probably loved something too much once, too much that it was an addiction. A writer is an addict. An addict is a liar. A writer is a liar

Maybe we should have chased colors, instead of finding comfort in darkness.

Today, for the first time I realized that you are the one who missed out. I may have lost the love of my life when you walked away, but you lost someone who loves you more than life.

It’s like I want you more now that I can’t see you. Whoever said, out of sight out of mind never fell in love with someone’s soul.
I probably shouldn’t, but I will.

I’m a professional when it comes to falling for the wrong people.

Nothing was blue. 
Everything was black. His thoughts, his faults, his heart. 
Nothing was grey. 
Everything was white. Her smile, her lies, her cries. 
And it was cruel. 
But it was beyond colors.

The moment I saw you, I was doomed. I was lost and I thought I would find myself, but somehow I lost myself even more. You did nothing but it meant everything to me. I fell for you more with every gaze and you got more loyal to her with every word. I have never felt this way before and I know, I will never desire anyone as much as I wanted you. You made me feel so much without actually caring for me, and I couldn’t stop myself from dreaming what would it be like if you actually cared. I got sucked into a fantasy world and lost contact with reality. I was obsessed with you. I was addicted to you. So I replaced one addiction with another and found relief in my old ways. It cured me for a while, because I was numb. I barely remember anything from the last year. I made bad decisions. And even worst action. I didn’t care because every decision I made was connected to you. I was going insane so there was no logic in my actions. I became friends with people I hate because they were close to you. I acted like I like random people to get your attention. I blamed her but the problem was me. Even if you weren’t hers, you would never be mine. Facing reality was harder than getting sober. Living with the feeling of having you, without ever actually having you, made me lose my mind. I can’t cry anymore. I can’t live with your dream anymore. I’m overwhelmed by fighting for you and living this love alone. I thought nothing would be too much when it comes to you, but my affection is more than I can handle. I need to stop loving you so I can start loving myself again. Because I can’t do both. I’m so focused on you that I keep forgetting about myself. You made me forget my own. There cannot be anything worse than losing respect and love to yourself. I know, because I haven’t asked myself anything since the moment I saw you. All my life was centered around you. Now I know the fine line between loving someone and being obsessed with someone. The minute I crossed that line, I became someone I dislike. I don’t know who I am anymore and it is too sad to live like this. I really wish you gave me the chance to love you freely, but you didn’t let me live this, ‘once in a life time’ feeling. You did everything to kill it, although I fought like a warrior. Unfortunately, now I am worn out. Emotinally and mentally unstable. Going through self hate and self harm. I’m close to death more than I’m close to your heart, and for the first time it scares me. I cannot waste away my life this way. At least not anymore. These lines are my closure to move on. Starting over a life without your eyes, your smile, your dream and my love for you. A life without you…

When I look at him, I wonder… 
If he has problems too 
If he has secrets If he has trouble sleeping at night 
If he cries If he has a dark side inside 
If he pretends to be happy like I do 
If he has a mask on 

I want to quit my responsibilities
Drive away from the city
To a place where only green and blue exist
To a place where I can write poetry all day
I want to quit life so I can start living
I want to write all day and read all night
I want to see the moonlight without the city lights and ambulance sirens
I want to see the seaside without jet-skis and yachts
I want to continue dreaming and believe it for once

You might think I’m sad over someone else, but most likely I’m sad over you.

“Well, you never knew exactly how much space you occupied in people's lives. Yet from this fog his affection emerged--the best contacts are when one knows the obstacles and still wants to preserve a relation.”

"You have to accept that some people are not made for deep conversations, or for holding you together when you’re about to fall apart, or for keeping you from unzipping your skin, or for talking you out of suicide, or to love you through the worst moments of your life. Some people are made for shallow exchanges, and ridiculous banter, and nothing more. And that’s okay. That doesn’t make them horrible people because they simply aren’t able to handle a storm like you. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you won’t divulge all the gritty details of your horror show. It makes you smart. You have to accept that there will be people that cannot give you what you need. It doesn’t mean they are not worth keeping in your life. You just have to figure out who these ones are before you’re disappointed. And you have to keep them at arm’s length. You cannot expect everyone in your life to understand, to be nonjudgmental, to get it. But that’s okay, because not everyone was made to impart wisdom, or wax-poetic, or speak on politics and the depravity of society, or discuss how crucial it is that the stigma of mental illness be abolished. There are times when you have to get away from all that heaviness. You have to. And you will need superficial conversation about Kim Kardashian’s arse, or a debate on the colour of The Dress. You will need those ones. So don’t go round cutting people off and dropping your friends. You need people for all your seasons. You need people or you won’t survive this."

Let's hold hands not guns.

Everyone elses ego has made me lose mine.

Keeping busy has kept me sane.

You shouldn't have to try to make people believe in you.

It could be different. You could be different.

Question everything but never question yourself.

If you kiss me like you mean it why can't you ever stay?

I guess you have to be a little bit crazy to think your dreams will come true.



"It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring — they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay. It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unloveable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are — that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others — is a strength. Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough."


When you feel like it is our last moment, please remember our first one.

"Vulnerability is the essence of romance. It’s the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say, ‘This is me, and I’m interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more important, all that I am not.






Faith is poisonous because if it’s strong enough, it can kill the things you love the most - your addictions.

Are you running away from your past or hiding from your future?

 sztuką życia nie jest na siłę kogoś zatrzymywać, 
a sprawić, by ten ktoś nie chciał odejść.

"Czasem wystarczy jeden człowiek, aby stracić zaufanie do całej reszty

With time you will become everything you said you wouldn’t.
95% of the time I feel absolutely nothing, but that 5% of the time I feel everything all at once.
I guess we are all a little addicted to a certain kind of sadness and a specific kind of person.




I think I wrote this song as a reminder that sometimes the best way forward is to not look back…”

And we are quotation marks, inverted and upside down, clinging to one another at the end of this life sentence. Trapped by lives we did not choose."

"Zwiąż się z osobą, z która lubisz spędzać czas. To proste. Związki stworzone tylko na przyciąganiu fizycznym i dobrym rżnięciu wypalają się strasznie szybko. I druga rzecz: ta osoba, z którą będziesz musi się bać tego, że może cię stracić." — “Pokolenie Ikea

"Nie jesteśmy wcale wspaniałym pokoleniem. Jesteśmy bandą przyspawanych do internetu, otępiałych od przestymulowania idiotów. Zamiast przeżyć cokolwiek, myślimy tylko jak o tym przeżyciu poinformować innych." —

"Perhaps we only leave, so we may once again arrive.

Everybody wants to be a model. Nobody wants to be a role model.” Ever since I read this sentence onMatt Adam´s instagram it has haunted me. We always show (off) ourselves, what we do, what we achieve, what we like, what we don´t. Each one of us is like the model of our own brand. And most interactions are almost just reduced to an exchange of those different “model lives.” But I wonder where have all the real role models gone? The ones where you know there is nothing fake behind, not trying to sell themselves for something they are not, or not constantly trying to “sell” themselves at all, the ones that you can look up to in the sense that they give you some wisdom along the way. Someone who doesn´t just follow but gives you a different view on something without trying to manipulate you. Someone who gives you some answers for life so you don´t have to make all the mistakes on your own. Or maybe we just don´t need anymore those ones, that we feel like we can look up to? Because we all have our opinions, make our own experiences and what we don´t know we look up on the internet. And maybe it is not worth anymore striving for being a role model yourself as values are disposable trends that come and go. Furthermore, there is a thin line between role model and manipulation and some role models are anyhow only injected on you with ulterior motives and for the benefit of something totally different than it appears.
Maybe the constant influence of commercials telling us how special, unique and perfect we are anyway and that we can be anything and anyone and the whole world is just waiting for our special abilities to be seen makes everyone wanting to be a model. No doubt we are all special and unique, but maybe having a few role models again instead of everyone wanting to be a model would also take away a lot of pressure of constantly branding oneself and leave some space and time for a profound progress of our abilites and after all everything else that we are or could be.
I am a happy listener. I like to listen to people, to give advice. But I have to admit that in the last years maybe that passion of mine has become a bit less. Because some people´s life only seems to evolve around themselves. When you meet them they always just talk about their own life, their problems and what is even more tiring – mostly it evolves around the same problems over and over again. And no matter what advice you give, nothing changes. And you feel like going round in circles with them, always-doing-it-the-same-way- even-if-it-is-not-working. There are really things in life that you cannot influence and where there is reason to find it hard to deal with and to grow desperate. But there are also a lot of things that you can change. That you sometimes just need to see from a different perspective. Or where you have to face the truth that it is your own fault because you are doing something in the wrong way or you are not making enough of an effort. We are like fools sometimes,not seeing or wanting to see the easy and logical solution in front of our eyes. And we rather suffer and continue to complain instead of changing. Besides other things – life is also about always working hard on yourself to learn, grow and develop. Each day, each moment.

jak w ciągu miesiąca skreślić wartościową znajomość z dużym potencjałem - poradnik ekpertki, lvl master / wysączyłam dwa kieliszki białego wina (czerwone mnie nie chwyta, mój organizm myśli, że przyjmuję je dla dobra trawienia) i jestem już gotowa, aby podzielić się ze światem komrpomitującą prawdą i efektywnymi poradami, które działałają w naprawdę ekspresowym tempie. Nie mówię oczywiście, że je polecam - nie mogę podpisać się przy nich imieniem, ani nazwiskiem, z wystawionym w górę kciukiem i wysuszającym jedynki amerykańskim uśmiechem. Miesiąc temu mogłabym sygnować je wizerunkiem z rozmazaną mascarą (tak, zasiliłam grono pand, jednak mojej duszy wciąż bardziej odpowiada przysposobienie innego zwierzęcia. Leniwca oczywiście) i toną chusteczek. W sumie po wysuszeniu wyglądają niemalże jak nowe - damn, celuloza zdała egzamin, Jestem dumna z następujących producentów: Mola i xx, bo ich chusteczki przeszły test zalania morzem łez. Gorzkich łez. Ph o wartości co najmniej 7,5. Każda łza zawierała co najmniej dwa mililitry rozczarowania i pół xxxlitra goryczy. Gdyby ktoś wziął taką chusteczkę do ust, od razu zacząłby pluć na prawo i lewo, bo taka dawka smutku jest już niekwestionowaną trucizną. A jednak mnie nie zabiła. A czy wzmocniła, jak szczepionka, lub ekstremalnie silny lek homeopatyczny? Na pewno, tak samo jak skok z ósmego piętra warszawskiego wieżowca - jeśli nie połamie kości, to wzmocni ich strukturę i sprawi, że będzie bardziej zbita. No więc moja struktura jest zbita, a ja sama czułam się przez kilka długich tygodni jak zbity pies. Albo raczej przybita kocica.

Dlaczego? Ano dlatego, że opanowałam sztukę zawartą w tytule do perfekcji. Mogłabym wykładać na uniwersytetach i prowadzić na ten temat rozległe sympozia - obawiam się, że nikt nie chciałby doskonalić się w tym kierunku, ani robić magisterki o rujnowaniu swoich relacji międzyludzkich, ale mimo wszystko - mogłabym! Może znalazłaby się grupka masochistów, którzy dla zabawy zechcieliby trochę pogmatwać swoje życie. Może liczyliby na to, że później mogliby przyjść do mnie na kolejne zajęcia o tym jak je naprawić i przywrócić do ładu i porządku. Eh, naiwniacy! Aczkolwiek jeśli ktoś jednak wykłada takie zajęcia, to powinnam zacząć na nie uczęszczać. Po siedmiu latach może uzyskałabym zaliczenie ;)

Ale do rzeczy (jakaś łacinska nazwa!) - 

A tak na marginesie, z boku mojego poplamionego i wypełnionego po brzegi anatomicznymi rysunkami (autorstwa moich niewinnych kolegów) zeszytu - nie wiem co z tym blogiem począć. Nie wiem czy chcę się obnażać i podpisywać imieniem, albo jeszcze odważniej - nazwiskiem! Piszę prawdę i tylko prawdę (jak w sądzie, o!) , ale prawda bywa momentami zbyt intymna i zbyt szczera, by tak publicznie się do niej przyznawać. Co myślicie? Oczywiście zmieniam imiona i personalne dane, żeby nikt nie poczuł się dotknięty moimi spostrzeżeniami - ale równocześnie ten blog powinien być przestrogą - hej, nie zadzierajcie ze mną, bo obsmaruję Wasze tendencje i nawyki w sieci. Don't mess up with me, bo namaluję Wam wirtualnego pryszcza, podczas tworzenia psychologicznego portretu. Może za kilka lat, kiedy moje statystyki poszybują w górę niczym F16 podczas auerofestivalu na Ławicy, a mojego bloga czytywać będzie nawet autorka książki "Faceci są z marsa, kobiety z wenus" (kurde, udowodnię jej, że to bzdura - mężczyźni nie pochodzą z Marsa, a z nieznanej i skrajnie nielogicznej galaktyki, lub jakiejś odległej czarnej dziury na samym końcu kosmosu. Jako nieustraszona kobieta XXI wieku często odwiedzam te rejony, ale za każdym razem wracam niedotleniona, a wręcz podduszona. Mówię Wam, jakość powietrza w tych rejonach ssie). Może w tej niedalekiej przyszłości, ludzie będą bali się ze mną umówić na niezobowiązującą kawkę, bo będę budziła grozę i strachliwe pytania "a co jeśli napiszę, że siorbałem, albo przygryzałem słomkę od tymbarka?" i będę skazana na towarzystwo stadka buldogów i współpracę z wyżej wymienionymi producentami chusteczek? Mniejsza - najważniejsze, że nikt nie posądzi mnie o to, że zostałam starą panną, bo się nie starałam. Zawsze się starałam. CZASAMI ZA BARDZO. Opiszę to na blogu, ale to przy okazji, po kolejnym kieliszku Carlo Rossi.  No wiecie, nie chcę się poświęcać na rzecz społecznego dobra, ani nauki, ale myślę, że podczas swojego krótkiego życia (ale bez paniki, nie musicie dociekać danych bohaterów moich opowieści i odsyłać ich do sądu - nie jestem szesnastolatką) przeżyłam już tyle i wyciągnęłam z tego tyle wniosków, że warto by to było spisać, na wypadek, gdybym kolejnych perypetii nie przetrwała w jednym kawałku. Serce zawsze krwawi, zazwyczaj niegroźnie i powodując tylko bolesny krwotok wewnętrzny, ale pewnego dnia niedokrwistość ( dodatkowo mam awersję do wołowiny, a podobno zawiera najwięcej żelaza...) sprawi, że będzie mniej różowo. 

Ja, faceci (i inne nieszczęścia)
przestałam odczuwać potrzebę, żeby pisać do nich, wylewać w okienkach naszych konwersacji żale po niecałkiem optymistycznych happy endach, próbować wzniecać ugaszony dawko płomień i jakoś wytłumaczyć, albo racjonalizować niektóre elementy znajomości. Zauważyłam, że pisanie O NICH daje mi większą ulgę, czasami kończącą się catharsis. Umawiając się z blondynką nigdy nie trać czujności - to mogę być ja! ( chociaż cenię swój czas, więc jeśli nie masz głębokich przepełnionych emocjami oczu, nie potrafisz rozmawiać godzinami o jedzeniu i w każdym zdaniu nadużywasz tej oto emotikony: możesz być spokojny, najprawdopodobniej nigdy się nie spotkaliśmy i się nie spotkamy. 

Dignity, it was nice knowing you. // I was a single tree in a story about a forest /This may be a sad chapter but you are not a sad story / /Nobody ever tells you that emptiness weighs the most. // “boys who don’t know their own heart don’t deserve yours” // "You know one of the most expensive things you could ever do is pay attention to the wrong people." // "The sexiest people are thinkers."

It’s all too much and not enough at the

 same time.

I just want to eat good food, make good love, travel, and surround myself with good people who get me. Happiness over everything. Anything less than that is irrelevant.

Remember to talk about it, even if it hurts. The more you clean the wound the faster it will heal.

I have a tendency to become infatuated with people who are distant and difficult to understand, who share themselves sparingly, and rarely with their whole hearts. 
I adore the mysteries and enigmas of people. The harder to solve, the better.
—Beau Taplin, The  Enigma

And I find it ironic that I haunt the places that once held happy moments: grasping at ghosts to feel alive.

“If you want to live an authentic, meaningful life, you need to master the art of disappointing and upsetting others, hurting feelings, and living with the reality that some people just won’t like you. It may not be easy, but it’s essential if you want your life to reflect your deepest desires, values, and needs.”
“Instead of asking why they left, now I ask, ‘What beauty will I create in the space they no longer occupy?”

“It’s exciting when you find parts of yourself in someone else.”

“You have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.”
“I didn’t write it down to build a poem. I wrote it down because that is what I do with the things that unravel me. I drag them across a page.”

“Vulnerability happens when you’re brave and start first, and when you hold a safe space and wait, when you log enough hours over time to create something really durable for that truth to tumble out onto, in a big, lovely, rich mess.”

“You are not hard to love. It is so easy to love you. When I look at you, all I can feel is love.”
Who ever made you think loving you was hard?

“I feel most inspired
When I am either,
Falling in love,
Or falling apart.”

“He said to me I was a tree in a story about a forest, and that it was arrogant of me to believe any differently. And he told me the story of the forest is better than the story of the tree.”

“There’s a difference between wanting to be looked at and wanting to be seen. When you are looked at, your eyes can be closed. You suck energy, you steal the spotlight. When you are seen, your eyes must be open, and you are seeing and recognizing your witness. You accept energy and you generate energy. You create light. One is exhibitionism, the other is connection. Not everybody wants to be looked at. Everybody wants to be seen.”

“I do not need someone to complete me
but if you wanted to
we could walk next to each other
into whatever is coming next.”

“When I lean in to love on someone, I don’t want to tell them how they should be, I want to tell them how they could be.”

“Emotional isolation is the number one cause of all addictions on this planet. Sobriety is not the opposite of addiction - human connection is. So, connect with people.”

“I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.”

“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”

“Just look at life with more playful eyes. Don’t be serious. Seriousness becomes like a blindness. Don’t pretend to be a thinker, a philosopher. Just simply be a human being. The whole world is showering its joy on you in so many ways, but you are too serious, you cannot open your heart.”

“You’re not impressing anyone with your silent stories and silly plans. No one is being changed by your ideas while they remain in your head. The world is changed by action. So act. Write. Move. Now.”

“Very few of us are what we seem.”

“Just because the process hurts doesn’t mean the results won’t be beautiful.”
“We cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever. We must stand up and move on to the next action.”

“Psychology says, you’re not afraid to love, you’re afraid of not being loved back.”
“You exhaust all of my metaphors.”

“I felt like an undeveloped photograph that he was printing, my image rising to the surface under his gaze.”
“I did this radio show and the deejay asks me, ‘What if you woke up tomorrow and you were beautiful?’
What do you mean ‘what if’?
He said, ‘What if you woke up and you were blonde and you had blue eyes and you were 5’11 and you weighed 100 pounds and you were beautiful? What would you do?’
And I said, ‘Well, I probably wouldn’t get up ‘cause I’d be too weak to stand.’
And I felt very sorry for him, ‘cause if that’s the only kind of person that you think is beautiful, you must not see very much beauty in the world.
And I think everybody is beautiful. And if you don’t think that I am beautiful, you are missing out. Because I am so beautiful.

You and me are real people, operating in a real world. We are not figments of each other’s imagination. I am the architect of my own self, my own character and destiny. It is no use whingeing about what I might have been, I am the things I have done and nothing more. We are all free, completely free. We can each do any damn thing we want. Which is more than most of us dare to imagine.

“That’s how I want to be. That’s who I want to be: deeply present in the present, in the mess, in the waiting, in the entirely imperfect right now.”

“To accept that life is supposed to be hard is the beginning of joy.”

“We cannot live unaffected by love. We are most devastated when we lose it, most empty when we give up on it, most inhumane when we betray it, and most passionate when we pursue it.”

“You tend to go back to who feels like home.”

“Maybe it’s time to become the person you’ve been waiting for.”

Loving someone should be hard and active, not easy and passive. When you sign up to actually love people – no fakers allowed – then you sign up for a life of runny noses, awkward car rides, hugs that last too long, pauses that demand no noise, and admitting you were wrong. If you want to actually love people then you have to be willing to be wrong.
Love is forgiveness. And it’s atonement. And it’s basically like putting your soul in a washing machine – it’s not some gentle cycle, it’s a fierce whipping that rings you out good.
It makes the stains fade.
Best of all, it fills the holes.

“In the end there doesn’t have to be anyone who understands you. There just has to be someone who wants to.”

“Being in love is a very strange thing. Your thoughts constantly drift towards this other person, no matter what you’re doing. You could be reaching for a glass in the cupboard or brushing your teeth or listening to someone tell a story, and your mind will just start drifting towards their face, their hair, the way they smell, wondering what they’ll wear, and what they’ll say the next time they see you.”

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the now the primary focus of your life.”

“I’m not looking for somebody who will 
whisper sweet nothings into my ear to feed the ravenous ego of my heart. But someone who can look me straight in the eye and say, I love you, whether you fail or fall, just as you are.

“Until we have seen someone’s darkness, we don’t really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone’s darkness, we don’t really know what love is.”
“The second time you decide to love someone will never be the same as the first.”
“I’m learning how to be angry and sad and lonely and joyful and excited and afraid and happy. I am learning how to taste everything.”

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

“ Dress >>
Leather jacket >>

“ @hellylife

a sad truth of women in relationships; their silent tears in the bathroom, the lights off during sex, unspoken insecurities and questions; fear of being too loud too hysterical too clingy. try to fix themselves to fix the other person’s problems - if i am prettier, smarter, faster, better - try to erase themselves to avoid conflict. small terrible jealousies he does nothing to dispel - he likes her facebook profile picture even after you tell him she rips you open - small terrible compromises that are really just giving up. women who change the core of themselves, who quietly give up dreams for his successes and for his children, who ask for little more than somebody else doing the dishes and still get moaned at. women who are the backbone of their house and still only seen as a kitchen trophy, a maid, a ball and chain.

'There are a few things in life so beautiful they hurt: swimming in the ocean while it rains, reading alone in empty libraries, the sea of stars that appear when you’re miles away from the neon lights of the city, bars after 2am, walking in the wilderness, all the phases of the moon, the things we do not know about the universe, and you.'

Really in the mood for a long drive with no real destination 

“Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it’s a big part, and sometimes it isn’t, but either way, it’s a part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you’re alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.”

“Date someone who sleeps on your chest and snores in your ear. Date someone who’ll be your Friday night and your entire Saturday. Date someone who is proud of you. Date someone who only makes you cry of laughter. Date someone who isn’t afraid to love everything about you. Find someone who believes love is black and white; you either love someone or you don’t. There are so many mediocre things in life, love shouldn’t be one of them.”

“A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don’t allow the happy moment, because they are so busy trying to get a happy life.”

“ Some couples are just really, really rad :) Also, water sessions are definitely my thing now.
Instagram @hbgoodie




“ me today.







“Kit Harington by Jake Chessum

“ Is this dog my date? Because that seems realistic







january: snowy eyelashes, rose tea, silk
february: baby hairs, melting snow, candle light
march: softness, ribbons, fairy whispers
april: thunderstorms, melodies, swingsets
may: white dresses, rose petals woven into hair, romanticism
june: peach farms, long summer drives, closed eyes
july: lighthouses, a sea breeze drifts through an open window, blue
august: strawberry fields, stardust, humming
september: lullabies, new beginnings, ballerina pink
october: pumpkin patches, the carnival, caramel
november: long hair, girl lips, barefoot
decemeber: pomegranate, the ballet, fresh snow

You can’t force someone to be with you. You can’t force someone to care about you. You can’t make someone want you. Let it go.
“ John Baldessari, Pure Beauty.



You must learn her.
You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.
You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.
And, this is how you keep her

Every morning, I wake up and forget just for a second that it happened. But once my eyes open, it buries me like a landslide of sharp, sad rocks. Once my eyes open, I’m heavy, like there’s too much gravity on my heart.

Don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal.
Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? What have I learned about God this year? What parts of my childhood faith am I leaving behind, and what parts am I choosing to keep? Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?”
Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe God is good and life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned.
Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.

 You keep me safe and I’ll keep you wild.

I was staring at you and you were staring at me and right then it was sort of like love, wasn’t it?

“ Skivvies

They make heartbreak sound so poetic and beautiful. Don’t be fooled. There’s nothing remotely beautiful about having to recover from someone’s existence in your life.

Be the blanket for my bones…Be a place that I call home

Lately baby, all the songs are reminding me of you

you remind me of…the stars the stars…and the light on your face.

I didn’t want to fall in love or need someone. I really didn’t want anything. But then, you appeared and I started wanting everything.

protect your peace. get rid of toxicity. cleanse your space. cultivate love.

Find someone who wants to invest in you, learn from you, see you win, support your visions and fall in love with you daily.

“ Jordan Voth. @jordanvoth on Instagram.

I want to be unafraid. I want to be full of light and love and kindness. I want to go on adventures and rejoice in the beauty of living.

This feels right and I’m letting it

I’ve found that there is always some beauty left – in nature, sunshine, freedom, in yourself; these can all help you.

Annie & P, 12/15.

We waste so many days waiting for the weekend. So many nights wanting morning. Our lust for future comfort is the biggest thief of life.

My expectations are sky low, because I’m standing on a mountaintop.

Happy. Just in my swim shorts, barefooted, wild-haired, in the red fire dark, singing, swigging wine, spitting, jumping, running - that’s the way to live.

Wasn’t that the point of life? To find someone to share it with? 
And if you got that part right, how far wrong could you go? If you were standing next to the person you loved more than everything else, wasn’t everything else just scenery?

I wonder who has been in love the most times? And who has been in love the deepest? I wish that could be tested, printed out on a sheet in black and white like a smog test or the S.A.T.’s. I know it takes away the mystery, the magic and the nuance but I wish I could see what all these people are feeling when they say they are feeling it and how it all stacks up in comparison. Even just for a day, to flip the pages in that catalogue to find my parents and teachers and friends and wonder how they ever got by thinking they were at a ten when really they were at a two. Or on the other side to find that one old man in the middle of some city I’ve never even heard of sitting on a porch all by himself whose numbers are somehow inexplicably off the charts.

“ I’ve got myself a glass of this right now — much needed after a long day.

I still remember all the sweet things you said, they keep me up at night.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

Does he who is always waiting suffer more than he who’s never waited for anyone?

How strange it is, to know so many people and yet none of them.

What happens when people open their hearts?
They get better.

Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives - choice, not chance, determines your destiny.

“ Two lovers in NYC

Why wasn’t friendship as good as a relationship? Why wasn’t it even better? It was two people who remained together, day after day, bound not by sex or physical attraction or money or children or property, but only by the shared agreement to keep going, the mutual dedication to a union that could never be codified.

One beautiful April morning, on a narrow side street in Tokyo’s fashionable Harujuku neighborhood, I walked past the 100% perfect girl.

Tell you the truth, she’s not that good-looking. She doesn’t stand out in any way. Her clothes are nothing special. The back of her hair is still bent out of shape from sleep. She isn’t young, either - must be near thirty, not even close to a “girl,” properly speaking. But still, I know from fifty yards away: She’s the 100% perfect girl for me. The moment I see her, there’s a rumbling in my chest, and my mouth is as dry as a desert.

Maybe you have your own particular favorite type of girl - one with slim ankles, say, or big eyes, or graceful fingers, or you’re drawn for no good reason to girls who take their time with every meal. I have my own preferences, of course. Sometimes in a restaurant I’ll catch myself staring at the girl at the next table to mine because I like the shape of her nose.

But no one can insist that his 100% perfect girl correspond to some preconceived type. Much as I like noses, I can’t recall the shape of hers - or even if she had one. All I can remember for sure is that she was no great beauty. It’s weird.

“Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% girl,” I tell someone.

“Yeah?” he says. “Good-looking?”

“Not really.”

“Your favorite type, then?”

“I don’t know. I can’t seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or the size of her breasts.”


“Yeah. Strange.”

“So anyhow,” he says, already bored, “what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?”

“Nah. Just passed her on the street.”

She’s walking east to west, and I west to east. It’s a really nice April morning.

Wish I could talk to her. Half an hour would be plenty: just ask her about herself, tell her about myself, and - what I’d really like to do - explain to her the complexities of fate that have led to our passing each other on a side street in Harajuku on a beautiful April morning in 1981. This was something sure to be crammed full of warm secrets, like an antique clock build when peace filled the world.

After talking, we’d have lunch somewhere, maybe see a Woody Allen movie, stop by a hotel bar for cocktails. With any kind of luck, we might end up in bed.

Potentiality knocks on the door of my heart.

Now the distance between us has narrowed to fifteen yards.

How can I approach her? What should I say?

“Good morning, miss. Do you think you could spare half an hour for a little conversation?”

Ridiculous. I’d sound like an insurance salesman.

“Pardon me, but would you happen to know if there is an all-night cleaners in the neighborhood?”

No, this is just as ridiculous. I’m not carrying any laundry, for one thing. Who’s going to buy a line like that?

Maybe the simple truth would do. “Good morning. You are the 100% perfect girl for me.”

No, she wouldn’t believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk to me. Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you, but you’re not the 100% boy for me. It could happen. And if I found myself in that situation, I’d probably go to pieces. I’d never recover from the shock. I’m thirty-two, and that’s what growing older is all about.

We pass in front of a flower shop. A small, warm air mass touches my skin. The asphalt is damp, and I catch the scent of roses. I can’t bring myself to speak to her. She wears a white sweater, and in her right hand she holds a crisp white envelope lacking only a stamp. So: She’s written somebody a letter, maybe spent the whole night writing, to judge from the sleepy look in her eyes. The envelope could contain every secret she’s ever had.

I take a few more strides and turn: She’s lost in the crowd.

Now, of course, I know exactly what I should have said to her. It would have been a long speech, though, far too long for me to have delivered it properly. The ideas I come up with are never very practical.

Oh, well. It would have started “Once upon a time” and ended “A sad story, don’t you think?”

Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the girl sixteen. He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially beautiful. They were just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely girl, like all the others. But they believed with their whole hearts that somewhere in the world there lived the 100% perfect boy and the 100% perfect girl for them. Yes, they believed in a miracle. And that miracle actually happened.

One day the two came upon each other on the corner of a street.

“This is amazing,” he said. “I’ve been looking for you all my life. You may not believe this, but you’re the 100% perfect girl for me.”

“And you,” she said to him, “are the 100% perfect boy for me, exactly as I’d pictured you in every detail. It’s like a dream.”

They sat on a park bench, held hands, and told each other their stories hour after hour. They were not lonely anymore. They had found and been found by their 100% perfect other. What a wonderful thing it is to find and be found by your 100% perfect other. It’s a miracle, a cosmic miracle.

As they sat and talked, however, a tiny, tiny sliver of doubt took root in their hearts: Was it really all right for one’s dreams to come true so easily?

And so, when there came a momentary lull in their conversation, the boy said to the girl, “Let’s test ourselves - just once. If we really are each other’s 100% perfect lovers, then sometime, somewhere, we will meet again without fail. And when that happens, and we know that we are the 100% perfect ones, we’ll marry then and there. What do you think?”

“Yes,” she said, “that is exactly what we should do.”

And so they parted, she to the east, and he to the west.

The test they had agreed upon, however, was utterly unnecessary. They should never have undertaken it, because they really and truly were each other’s 100% perfect lovers, and it was a miracle that they had ever met. But it was impossible for them to know this, young as they were. The cold, indifferent waves of fate proceeded to toss them unmercifully.

One winter, both the boy and the girl came down with the season’s terrible inluenza, and after drifting for weeks between life and death they lost all memory of their earlier years. When they awoke, their heads were as empty as the young D. H. Lawrence’s piggy bank.

They were two bright, determined young people, however, and through their unremitting efforts they were able to acquire once again the knowledge and feeling that qualified them to return as full-fledged members of society. Heaven be praised, they became truly upstanding citizens who knew how to transfer from one subway line to another, who were fully capable of sending a special-delivery letter at the post office. Indeed, they even experienced love again, sometimes as much as 75% or even 85% love.

Time passed with shocking swiftness, and soon the boy was thirty-two, the girl thirty.

One beautiful April morning, in search of a cup of coffee to start the day, the boy was walking from west to east, while the girl, intending to send a special-delivery letter, was walking from east to west, but along the same narrow street in the Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo. They passed each other in the very center of the street. The faintest gleam of their lost memories glimmered for the briefest moment in their hearts. Each felt a rumbling in their chest. And they knew:

She is the 100% perfect girl for me.

He is the 100% perfect boy for me.

But the glow of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no longer had the clarity of fouteen years earlier. Without a word, they passed each other, disappearing into the crowd. Forever.

A sad story, don’t you think?

Yes, that’s it, that is what I should have said to her.

Which do you want: the pain of staying where you are, or the pain of growth?

Nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it.

"People are not as beautiful as they look, as they walk, or as they talk. They are only as beautiful as they love, as they care, and as they share."

"You have to accept that some people are not made for deep conversations, or for holding you together when you’re about to fall apart, or for keeping you from unzipping your skin, or for talking you out of suicide, or to love you through the worst moments of your life. Some people are made for shallow exchanges, and ridiculous banter, and nothing more. And that’s okay. That doesn’t make them horrible people because they simply aren’t able to handle a storm like you. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you won’t divulge all the gritty details of your horror show. It makes you smart. You have to accept that there will be people that cannot give you what you need. It doesn’t mean they are not worth keeping in your life. You just have to figure out who these ones are before you’re disappointed. And you have to keep them at arm’s length. You cannot expect everyone in your life to understand, to be nonjudgmental, to get it. But that’s okay, because not everyone was made to impart wisdom, or wax-poetic, or speak on politics and the depravity of society, or discuss how crucial it is that the stigma of mental illness be abolished. There are times when you have to get away from all that heaviness. You have to. And you will need superficial conversation about Kim Kardashian’s arse, or a debate on the colour of The Dress. You will need those ones. So don’t go round cutting people off and dropping your friends. You need people for all your seasons. You need people or you won’t survive this."

"It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring — they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay. It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unloveable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are — that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others — is a strength. Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough."

"Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won’t tell you about themselves if they trust your kindness. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they become the worse type of person. Unfortunately, they end up hurting themselves in the long run. They don’t want to hurt other people. It is against their very nature. They want to make amends and undo the wrong they did. Their life is a wave of highs and lows. They live with guilt and constant pain over unresolved situations and misunderstandings. They are tortured souls that are not able to live with hatred or being hated. This type of person needs the most love anyone can give them because their soul has been constantly bruised by others. However, despite the tragedy of what they have to go through in life, they remain the most compassionate people worth knowing, and the ones that often become activists for the broken hearted, forgotten and the misunderstood. They are angels with broken wings that only fly when loved."

me: i dont give a shit
narrator: actually, she gave many shits

I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.

Serre moi dans tes bras.
Embrasse-moi longtemps.
Plus tard il sera trop tard.
Notre vie c’est maintenant

Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That’s all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.

‘Don’t wait for it,’ I said. ‘Create a world, your world. Alone. Stand alone. Create. And then the love will come to you, then it comes to you. It was only when I wrote my first book that the world I wanted to live in opened up to me.’

saying my name is so intimate why would you do that to me if you had no intention to stay

Words do not express thoughts very well. They always become a little different immediately after they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish.

enjoy the coffee while it’s still hot.

Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it!

The way to love someone is to lightly run your finger over that person’s soul until you find a crack, and then gently pour your love into that crack.

lowkey relationships are hot as fuck to me. like its just you and her. no one knows. it’s not anybody business to know. lowkey you be posted up with shorty and cuddling and shit. got everyone wondering and shit. let em wonder fam.

“It is not just the language that we are sharing, it is what we don’t say. We are calling each other out of loneliness, across space, out of recognition of our beauty and power, and we are willing to go past the destruction and hurt we have done to reach each other.”

Talent is insignificant. I know a lot of talented ruins. Beyond talent lie all the usual words: discipline, love, luck, but, most of all, endurance.

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

Waiting for the future is like waiting for a friend to start evening tea time.

Some day you will find out that there is far more happiness in another’s happiness than in your own.

Those years weren’t lost. They simply weren’t the way I’d planned them.

Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.

I hope you get where you’re going, and be happy when you do.

“ Venice
Sam Abell

“ Bill Murray asking the real questions.

Going after the unknown is always fascinating, I think. It becomes part of your life, this desire to know.

This is a little like hell; almost romantic.

People like you and me are quite lonely really but we still have each other, we have the secret satisfaction of being different, of rebelling, of desiring the unusual.

If nothing saves us from death, at least love should save us from life.

What makes cinema so attractive, so fascinating is that it’s not just a one plus one process. It’s a chemistry between sounds, words, ideas & image.

I don’t have dreams they’re all goals

Years, lovers, glasses of wine. These are things that must never be counted.

I’m highkey tired of my phone. I want to go on road trips or get lost somewhere

I’ve been reblogging about you.

Ideals are dangerous things. Realities are better. They wound, but they are better.

You can’t measure the mutual affection of two human beings by the number of words they exchange.

The sun is perfect and you woke this morning. You have enough language in your mouth to be understood. You have a name, and someone wants to call it. Five fingers on your hand and someone wants to hold it. If we just start there, every beautiful thing that has and will ever exist is possible. If we start there, everything, for a moment, is right in the world.

I talked a good hello
but she talked an even
     better good-bye.

(Japanese) of some small thing that brings you suddenly, joyously back to fond memories—not with a wistful longing for what’s past, but with an appreciation of the good times. 

Some loves been made to exist, and not to happen

Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.

Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s part of what it means to be alive.

There is no past we can bring back by longing for it. There is only an eternal now that builds and creates out of the past something new and better.

And then, suddenly, something is over.

I like you to be exactly the way that you are, because in all my experience, I have never known anyone like yo

You’re in love with impossibility.

“I hear your voice in all the world’s noise

Maybe the moon is beautiful only because it is far.

“Maja Lundgren

The only things I regret, and the only things I’ll ever regret are things I didn’t do. In the end, that’s what we mourn. The paths we didn’t take. The people we didn’t touch.

The saddest word
in the whole wide world
is the word almost.

He was almost in love.
She was almost good for him.
He almost stopped her.
She almost waited.
He almost lived.
They almost made it.

Have you ever noticed people have a way of noticing what they want? I noticed you. That’s all.

i didn’t know you
but i could talk to you
and that was the beginning
of something great

How do you move on? You move on when your heart finally understands that there is no turning back.

I wanted it so much. I don’t know why I wanted it so much.

hold my hand and walk me round an art gallery and whisper fake stories of the paintings in my ear

You don’t meet people by accident

Many people have come and left, and it has been always good because they emptied some space for better people. It is a strange experience, that those who have left me have always left places for a better quality of people.

in the end it always came down to words

I’d rather live on my own than live with a face that looks at me with the wrong eyes.

“ new york, november 2014

Good food does lead to sex. As it should. And in a perfect world, good music does too.

Je mets ta robe préférée. Viens me trouver.

The bullet you don’t hear is the one that enters you

Maybe it’s not about the length of time you’ve known someone; maybe it’s about instant recognition on an unconscious level. Our souls know each other

Do you want to go somewhere and talk?
—The way it all begins and then the way it all ends

There are people who are always in love with the sky, no matter the weather. One day you will find someone who’ll love you the same way.'

i like you. you like pizza. I'm bad at poems. Please answer me.