"Some things could only be written in a foreign language; they are not lost in translation, but conceived by it. Foreign verbs of motion could be the only ways of transporting the ashes of familial memory. After all, a foreign language is like art—an alternative reality, a potential world. Once it is discovered, one can no longer go back to monolinguistic existence."
— Svetlana Boym, “Estrangement as a Lifestyle: Shklovsky and Brodsky”
if they wanted to, they would’ve
To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget.
— Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things
Anonymous sent: do you have any resolutions or intentions you are looking forward to for 2019?
To embrace change; to embrace uncertainty; to embrace contradiction and paradox. To read (books, invisible maps, gestures…). To listen (to stories beyond words). To learn. To love. To learn new ways to love. A new focus on the word open.
Anonymous sent: how can someone be more involved with art?
Read books on the subjects that interest you, visit local galleries and museums as well as those in foreign cities when travelling, take advantage of the free guided tours that some galleries offer, note the pieces you find most striking in your journal, take art classes, attend panels and talks that include artists or art critics/experts that you admire, watch youtube videos on topics of interest (I recommend The Met, Smarthistory, and Christie’s youtube channels), download the Daily Art app, volunteer at your local gallery/museum/studio, talk to people about the art that interests you: share opinions/ideas/thoughts with friends/family or other individuals at galleries (guides/security guards/other art enthusiasts)…
THE RIGHT PERSON WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF YOU
At this point I only value empathy and the capacity to understand a point of view other than your own
There’s gonna be THAT person that comes along when you aren’t expecting anything and they treat you right and everything’s healthy and they’re gonna make you feel all kinds of shit you didn’t know you could feel bitch do not let that go I’m telling you
“People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them and their response is “you’re safe with me” - that’s intimacy.”
my toxic trait : i hurt in silence and pray that someone loves me enough to notice i’m not being myself
“Get into the habit of asking yourself, does this support the life I am trying to create?”
— Irisa Yardenah
Men need to try way harder than they do
And women don’t need to try as hard
Honest, raw, real communication changes everything. Get it out. Unburden yourself. Say what you feel.
it’s okay to not be where you thought you’d be right now. you’ll get there. or if you don’t, you’ll get somewhere better.
Have two goals: wisdom—that is, knowing and doing right—and common sense. Don’t let them slip away, for they fill you with living energy and bring you honor and respect. They keep you safe from defeat and disaster and from stumbling off the trail. With them on guard you can sleep without fear; you need not be afraid of disaster or the plots of wicked men, for the Lord is with you; he protects you.
“Your lucky enough to be different, never change”
my favourite quality in a person is being that one person who listens to your story when no one else is paying attention and asks you to carry on if you start and get talked over
As long as I don’t lose sight of my goals, I won’t lose.
better to lose people not meant for you than to exhaust yourself trying to impress, love, help, and grow with people who never will be
3 am is such a powerful time. there are people sleeping. there are people partying. there are people having a movie marathon. there are people crying. there are people loving. there are people dying. there are people living. together at 3 am.
Stop wasting time considering whether people like you and start thinking about if you like them
honestly you know why people centuries ago were so extra in the way they spoke and so dramatic it’s because they were listening to classical music. go turn on some johann sebastian bach and tell me you don’t suddenly feel like composing a hand written love letter to your dearest annabelle and using the word melancholy
5 ways not to be used:
-believe patterns not apologies
-don’t fall in love with potential
-believe red flags
-know your worth
-don’t lower your standards
“Love. Love has no end. If it had, it would not be love. We go on loving those we have loved in other forms, or else we begin to cherish in other forms those we should have cherished in the past. Nothing changes, everything is transformed.”
– Violette Leduc, from La Bâtarde
2019 is gonna be a year of love!!! a year of resilience!!! a year of “i did that”!!! a year of finding good music and being moved by lovely things and seeing your goals crystallize and come closer & closer into reach!!! and above all it’s gonna be a year of forgiving yourself for screwing up and pushing through ANYWAY!!!
The problem with closed minded people is that their mouths are always open.
“Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don’t know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn’t you. That isn’t you at all.”
— Leila Sales, “This Song Will Save Your Life"
listen to yourself and watch your language.
instead of saying “sorry for ranting”, say “thank you for listening to me”.
instead of saying “sorry that i am overemotional”, say “thank you for trying to understand something difficult”.
instead of saying “sorry if i am a burden”, say “thank you for the time and energy you invest in our friendship”.
good things will come when you realize you are not an apology.
instead of saying “sorry for ranting”, say “thank you for listening to me”.
instead of saying “sorry that i am overemotional”, say “thank you for trying to understand something difficult”.
instead of saying “sorry if i am a burden”, say “thank you for the time and energy you invest in our friendship”.
good things will come when you realize you are not an apology.
2019 is a universal 3 year in numerology. This is the number of magic, harmony, manifestation, balance and unity. Use this energy to tap into the power of your purpose. Your soul mission is the reason you incarnated on earth. This year is about honoring your true divine path.
You know you have done some major healing when the things that use to upset you no longer create an emotional response. Celebrate those moments. Growth is powerful.
if they don’t support you, don’t encourage you, don’t defend you, don’t respect you, don’t protect you, don’t worry about you, don’t ask about you, don’t talk about you, or don’t wonder about you, then they don’t care about you. don’t stay in an unfulfilling relationship; a person that doesn’t care, doesn’t love.
Sure, relationships typically start with a honeymoon phase that then grows into something deeper but a bit more mellow if things work out, but it’s depressing as fuck that this has turned into a really, really common script for straight relationships that says it’s totally normal and inevitable for dudes to just become more and more emotionally checked out of the relationship, and leave it to their girlfriend/wife to perform if she wants to get even a crumb of affection from him. I’m so fucking tired of seeing women constantly being taught that decades of emotional neglect is just our lot in life. what “getting out of the honeymoon phase” should mean: you aren’t joined at the hip anymore and can spend time apart, but you still greatly enjoy eachother’s company and deliberately make time to be together. you’re not just a unit, you’re a matched set (like, you’re susan and bob rather than susanandbob). you start to see eachother’s flaws and don’t put eachother on a pedestal but instead love eachother as human beings, flaws and all. what it should NOT mean: you barely talk anymore. you feel like two completely different people, tied together by a frayed thread. you’re annoyed by eachother’s flaws and don’t like to be around eachother similarly: “relationships are hard, they take a lot of work” means that cooperation on a daily basis in both the practical and emotional realms takes conscious effort. you can’t coast on those honeymoon feelings forever, and you aren’t psychic, so you have to pay attention and communicate so you can honor each other’s wants and needs. it should not mean that you’re fighting every two days or walking on eggshells to avoid the anger of an unreasonable partner or breaking your back trying to get the slightest sign of affection or respect from someone who’s checked out and doesn’t care about you. This is so, so important. Dont keep investing in a relationship thats not giving back. You deserve to be heard, you deserve at the very least communication.
Even the most wonderful relationships can be seriously damaged if either person loses the ability to reach out in an empathic gesture or cannot be appropriately compassionate when needed. Prolonged stress depletes a relationship of its most important components: present-time deep attentiveness and the ability to live in one-another’s hearts. Stressed-out people cannot maintain those gifts. They forget how to love or allow love to penetrate their preoccupied and pressured world. That disconnect from their own inner experiences transfers into becoming separate from the one they love.
- There are no great secrets. To become world class, you have to do the work. The highest pay-off comes from doing exactly those things you find most difficult. Progress is paid for in the pains you take to overcome your weaknesses.
- Do not suffer aimlessly. Know where to put your efforts. Do not waste energy on things that do not help your progress.
- Recuperate strategically. Mind-numbing scrolling for hours is neither particularly enjoyable nor replenishing. Read a good book. Go for a walk. Visit a museum or the theatre. Have a talk with a good friend. Cook a good meal.
- Work with your circumstances. Do not fight against something you cannot change. Make your environment work for you.
- Do not waste time on planning or thinking about how to work. Just work. Reading books about productivity and learning might bring some benefit if you apply it, but you need to actually spend more time applying it than reading about it.
This is exactly the energy I need in 2019
sometimes i forget how many times i’ve picked myself off the floor, how many times i’ve washed away smudgy makeup and put myself to bed. how many times i’ve said no to something unhealthy. said yes to something good. how many times i’ve treated myself with kindness and patience. i forget how many times i’ve tended to wounds and made peace with my own anger. if i was taking care of a body that was not my own, i’d believe i was doing everything i could. so here’s to remembering that i’m doing the best i can.
mood: when Diane Von Furstenberg said “I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I always knew the woman I wanted to be”
it’s not about wanting to see signs everywhere, but understanding that there are many different types of language. how many times life has talked to me without words
I feel like I’m constantly worrying about the next part of my life without realizing that I’m right in the middle of what I used to look forward to
To being affluent, successful, happy, and stressfree women. Nothing is out of reach unless you declare it to be. Set intentions for your life next year and follow through to become the best version of you possible. No blocking our blessings, no talking ourselves out of them because we’re scared, no saying no to things we actually need to do. We’re meant to be more than what we are today, but we can only get there by taking leaps. No risk, no reward. 🥂
lay out intentions like paving of ease in future moments. “i’m gonna have fun in class tomorrow”, “when i go for a walk i’m gonna see so many beautiful things”, “i’m gonna have the most cozy night tonight”, “i’m gonna be very present with my friend on wednesday”, etc. see how easily the moment adapts. it’s like a little spell to set yourself up for goodness
“Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, ‘No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.’ It’s going to bed at night thinking, ‘Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.’”
— Brene Brown, “Daring Greatly”
“Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.”
— bell hooks All About Love - New Visions
read about how kindness isn’t always an inherent trait you’re born with, it’s something you cultivate and choose to do, which makes me feel better because even though I felt that, it was nice to see someone put it into words. A lot of good characteristics are a process of cultivation and growth that we consciously and actively choose
“The whole point of an intimacy is to serve each other in growth and love, hopefully in better ways than we can serve ourselves. Otherwise, why engage in intimacy if your growth and love are served more by living alone? Intimacy is about growing more than you could by yourself, through the art of mutual gifting.”
— David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
“The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is being insincere. That is why so much of social life is exhausting; one is wearing a mask. I have shed my mask.”
— Anne Morrow Lindberg, from “Gift From The Sea”
“It’s a strange thing, how you can love somebody, how you can be all eaten up inside with needing them–and they simply don’t need you. That’s all there is to it, and neither of you can do anything about it. And they’ll be the same way with someone else, and someone else will be the same way about you and it goes on and on–this desperate need–and only once in a rare million do the same two people need each other.”
- Madeleine L’Engle, The Small Rain
replanting.tumblr.com
“To live in this world / you must be able to do three things: / to love what is mortal; / to hold it / against your bones knowing / your own life depends on it; / and, when the time comes to let it go, / to let it go.”
— Mary Oliver, from “In Blackwater Woods”
take your morning back from distraction and phones and planning and worry. wake up and drink water, move slow, brush your teeth, scrape your tongue. prepare your herbs and massage your body with oil. do a breathing exercise then rinse off. leave your phone in the corner. make a simple breakfast and your coffee. chew your food and only do that. when you’re finished, move on with your day. you’ll get more done during this morning moment than you think - maybe an hour of time total. this sounds like pushing productivity but im not, it’s ritual+routine and that makes humans feel really good. try it out for a month and see how nourishing and impactful it is to move with carfeul purpose, just for yourself and no other reason.
You cannot live alone on the fantasies you feed to your mind, eventually you have to touch your life for real, assess and analyze your habits, understand your character, try not to hate yourself for your character as it was shaped when you were very young by circumstances outside of you, and begin learning how to cope with your character, how to build habits that work for you, finish small projects, finish big projects, expose yourself to more uncomfortable situations, assess why you want to leave that friendship before you leave it, raise your anxiety levels on purpose, so that you can grow, raise your work load on purpose, so that you can grow, so that you can build resilience, so that your life expands, and can be experienced by you in full and in reality
Go to sleep knowing some of the best days of your life are yet to come.
you aren’t what you attract but you will become what you invest in
Act like you’re blessed. Talk like you’re blessed. Walk like you’re blessed. Think like you’re blessed. Smile like you’re blessed. Dress like you’re blessed. Put actions behind your faith, and one day you will see it become a reality.
Your Flaws Are Probably More Attractive Than You Think They Are
emeraldlingerie:
They don’t deserve u, stay busy.“Whether at work or on a date, it seems safest to show vulnerability within a relationship that has some history—in which there is reciprocal sharing and the connection between two people grows in tandem with the disclosures. And yet, the truth is there’s nothing really ever safe about being vulnerable—and that’s precisely what allows for a special connection in the first place. When someone shares his hopes and anxieties on vellum paper, or admits to a mistake, or professes love to a friend at a café, that person is doing something risky, but the possibility of being hurt helps open the door to a more genuine, intimate interaction. Things might not work out in the person’s favor, but there’s still something rare and, indeed, beautiful about the gesture.
“Many of us feel like we’re barely keeping it together,” says Candy Chang, the artist who created A Monument for the Anxious and Hopeful with her partner, James A. Reeves. “But seeing some private corner of your psyche reflected in somebody else’s handwriting on a wall can be incredibly reassuring. It’s a reminder of the humanity in the faces around us.”
I firmly believe that there’s a “right” time to read a certain book. It’s okay if you’re interested in a book and it sits on your shelf for years. Maybe it didn’t call out to you when you wanted something to read because it was waiting for the right time to mean the most to you. Not saying this is always the case, but this has happened enough to recognize the magic.
Types of Girls: city edition
Paris girls: loves pastries and sunsets, romanticizes everything, obsessed with bands, genuinely kind, in an existential crisis, keeps a diary, can be aloof
Tokyo girls: amazingly stylish, loves studio ghibli films, minimalists, good at giving advice, loves skincare and makeup, appears confident, takes naps, daydreams a lot
New York girls: passionate about their opinions, tall, eyebrows on point, interested in film and art, will ask you if you’re ok if you look sad, wise beyond their years
London girls: has short hair, loves coffee and stripes, can make anyone laugh, hardworking when they feel like it, can be easily anxious, likes creative hobbies
Sydney girls: loves beaches and nature, down to earth, prefers comfy clothes, easily distracted, always down to hang out, excited about the stars, easy to talk to
Berlin girls: talented in science, has high ambitions, easily jealous, loves collecting quotes, acts strong, always there for their friends, really likes flowers or sweet food
Fall in love with someone who appreciates the little things in life. Like the blue of the ocean, the calmness of an empty sky, or going grocery shopping at 1am. Fall in love with someone who makes the small things feel like everything.
new year’s resolution: to stay true (of word, to heart) and open (of mind, of arms) perseverance, fearlessness and joy whenever possible
Take a shower, wash off the day. Drink a glass of water. Make the room dark. Lie down and close your eyes. Notice the silence. Notice your heart. Still beating. Still fighting. You made it, after all. You made it, another day. And you can make it one more. You’re doing just fine.
start now. start where you are. start with fear. start with pain. start with doubt. start with what you have. start and don’t stop. you can do it
I plan on becoming the girl of my own dreams.
when marilyn monroe said “i’ve never fooled anyone. i’ve let people fool themselves. they didn’t bother to find out who and what i was. instead they would invent a character for me. i wouldn’t argue with them. they were obviously loving somebody i wasn’t.”
How do you move on?
You don’t. You just live with it everyday and time shall pass, memories turns vague and it would feel like everything was just a dream.
Taking a moment to remember all the growing I did in 2018. All the progress I’ve made and lessons I’ve learned. 2018 taught me shit I will cherish for the rest of my life.
it might take a day. it might take a year, but what’s meant to be will always find it’s way.
preparing food is one of the most beautiful forms of affection that i know how to show
honestly a good partner isn’t necessarily someone who loves the exact same things you love but rather someone who is willing to listen to you ramble on and on about a particular subject that you’re passionate about even if they have little to no interest in it
My idea of flirting is making fun of each other until one of us loses and says something nice
i wanted it to be you
so badly
but it wasn't you
Chciałam, żebyś okazał się dokładnie tym, czego szukam
abyś słowo w słowo
pokrywał się z treścią moich marzeń
wstrzymałam całe poszukiwania
aby przypadkiem nie natknąć się na nic bardziej odpowiedniego
chciałabym, aby ten styczeń należał do zeszłego roku
aby jego przemijanie można było odciąć grubą, czarną linią
żeby móc się z nim głośno pożegnać
zamknąć oczy
i po północy doczekać się nowego początku.
“A single person is missing for you, and the whole world is empty.”
— Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking
https://www.mangooutlet.com/pl/kobieta/sukienki-d%C5%82ugie/d%C5%82uga-sukienka-z-falbanami_21047033.html?c=56&n=1&s=prendas_she.familia;32
