you’re nothing but a reminder of how hard i fall for the wrong people // i am a moth and you are the light.

“I want that unexpected kind of love. The one where you never know what’s going to happen next, but you trust and believe that everything will be okay.”

"I find beauty in all things authentic, pure, and eternal. 
And so I value honesty, I value holiness, and I value the soul."



autumn look: faux fur coat with nothing but expensive lingerie underneath, glitter boots, dark purple lipstick & the tears of my ex lovers as my cheekbone highlight

crying is an art, like everything else."


I saw you in a grocery store today. Actually, I don’t know if it was you. But it could have been. I saw you in a post office the day before. I’ll see you in a photo in the newspaper tomorrow. On the bus the day after that. Someday it will really be you.


Oh no. Oh no. Oh no oh no. Oh no oh no oh no oh no. You’ve made a terrible mistake only you can see and it looks like something beautiful.

You are not prepared for this not ending how you want it to. And you are really not prepared for this ending how you want it to.

A man unrequitedly in love will stand outside your home and knock, throw, kick, holler, relentless in pursuit. Foreign to the idea of a space he is unwelcome in. A woman unrequitedly in love will sit. She’s far away from your house. She knows it’s not for her. She will wait, she has gifts prepared if she is ever invited in. She has herself prepared if she’s not.

God’s not pleased that I pray for you so much.

You are the girl of his dreams. You’re the girl of my dreams. You’re the girl of your own dreams. You’re a passing character in everyone else’s dreams. They are all of your dreams too. What you need to find is one of your waking hours.

I am speaking about you to you in a loud voice and you cannot hear me.

Men don’t tell jokes they reveal truths they’re so detached from they find it laughable and absurd.

i wonder what it would be like to start all over again? to do things on your terms, would you just end up the same way in the end?

don’t want anything from you except my time back.

right now i dont know why, but soon, we all will.

oh, please. don’t do to me what i’ve done to other people.

everything you’re worried about will not exist in one hundred years, no one will remember the times you were in pain and no one will remember that you were in love.

i feel like there are words unsaid everywhere. they are on fingertips, in eyes, in mouths. if words are left unsaid, do they exist at all?

it feels like i’m selling my soul just for scraps of attention

I miss what I thought you were. You never existed. I am better without you. Nostalgia is a liar.

even though what we shared had me dying, nostalgia still creeps in through the window and whispers about you.

“who is this?” was your last text message. lined with ice - a testament to our failing relationship. i felt cold but it sparked a sudden change of color and feeling within me. “who is this?” is the question i should’ve been asking myself about you from the moment things fell out of place. who is this and where is the person who’s last, sincere, spoken words to me were “you’ll always have me.”

in another time, we have found each other again. we don’t hate each other for the pain we’ve caused one another. i look over at you, we’re floating in the most beautiful sunset, holding each other’s hands. our hearts were never broken because after all that time, we learned how to love each other right. i’m sorry it took us so long.

everyone has tiny wishes that they think of as they’re counting stars, their eyes heavy with sleep and with the thought of fulfilling their desires once upon a dream. i cannot help but wonder what yours are

don’t leave if you can’t let them go

we held hands under the golden sunlight. we watched the earth revolve, the clouds moving over our noses. we laid in silence, in the perfect moment you called a fancy word I can’t remember. I looked into your chocolate eyes but you kept looking away, why couldn’t you look at me? now we don’t talk and I can’t remember your face.

i honestly don’t think i even love you but all i care about is why you don’t love me

It’s so stupid how we ended over such petty things.

you always told me to stay but you’re the one who left

You are such a bright light, but you flicker and waver. I could never count on you to keep me warm.

Maybe it could be me next time. Maybe we could try again.

I miss you but I’m happy you’re with better people now

does the devil know my name yet?

gloomy fall mornings, yellow lights of street lamps, ginger tea in pale china, faded ripped tights beneath holiday lights, cold cold bones beneath warm fragile skin, soft lips on lavender scented collarbones in an unmade bed.

a single life can be made better by millions of others, and vice versa. we are all connected, after all. 

i wonder how it feels for you to be in love with the wrong girl.

you asked me what kept me up all night, little did you know it was you.

was i too much or was i not enough? whatever the answer, it’ll still hurt

in a week, things will have changed. in a month, i’ll have forgotten this. in a year, we will see the results.i hope we’re happy with them.

nothing lost, nothing gained.

i only loved you because you didn’t love me back.

i’m out of breath thinking about the conversations that we should’ve had.

he won’t remember, but I will.

take note of the little things, they always add up in the end.

i find myself searching for you in every man

i will cherish your words even after we part.

you are my happily never after

i want to be in your life at least for a moment so that you may look back upon what we shared someday and smile inwardly

in the end, it was and will always be their loss. keep moving forward.

you were unintentional until you weren’t, and I never realized how serious it was until you cut me off.

everything I wanted to give you was everything you couldn’t take.

i pray to god that one day you will think about me and realize what a big mistake you made.

we were perfect, just not for each other

the universe is telling me that it’s easier to fall apart than to fall in love. it’s getting harder and harder to tell the difference.

people forget that poison can be sweet too

reconnect with those who made flowers bloom in your soul

life becomes so much more beautiful when you think of everything as art. the sky the fields the empty roads after a rainstorm. everything is so peaceful so beautiful so natural

your silence hurt me more than your words ever did

i’m haunted by the fact that you always knew that i was temporary 







I know that I have died before—once in November.

i won’t glorify or romanticize heartbreak, for me it was a kind of death and i was forced to keep living.



It’s not that you’re feeding his ego, it’s that his ego is being fed. He’d be content with anyone doing it.

“Real love? I guess when you love despite all the differences, when you unconsciously make compromises, when there is that madness inside you and when it makes you a better person. I always wish that if we are all in love all the time, the world would be a better place.”

Why is Dostoyevski Idiot one of your favourite books?
I find it extremely interesting because Dostoyevski was a great psychologist and his descriptions about the human soul are extensive and detailed.

“Real love comes when you less expect it. Who ever gets real love should feel very lucky. Glad I just found mine.”

Promising evening ahead....



they didn’t text you back because they didn’t want to ok??? go do a clay mask its fine

Her phone gets hot from texting you so much. It makes her hands warm. In lesser moments she imagines it’s like you’re holding them.

You did it wrong the first time so you had an excuse to keep doing it.

Me: tell me how pretty I look today
Him: you haven’t sent a picture I can’t see
Me: that was a conceptual visualization process and creative method exercise and you failed. You fucking failed. Your BFA was for nothing.

I am looking for a new man to disappoint me less often than the current one

It exists. It’s just not here right now. 

 You don't have to, but you do it anyway and it is nice.

everything you do is a learning experience. even if you learn the thing you do is something you really don’t want to do.

Men know honesty as a noun and women, as a verb.

Nothing, matters. But especially this nothing.

We live in a two bedroom house. It’s a small house. We sleep close together every night even when it’s hot. There is a table in the backyard. There is no grass. It’s mostly a garden. We grow a lot of vegetables and herbs. Every summer we see who can grow the best tomatoes. Mine are great, but yours are sublime. I don’t mind losing the tomato contest. I still get to eat all of them with you.

You sunbathe and I sit next to you under the shade of a large, painted umbrella. You are so beautiful that I feel nervous and excited. We cook together and you kiss me while I’m cutting something and I worry that I’ll cut myself, but I never do.

When we eat, we don’t sit across from each other. We sit on the same side of the table. We’re closer. Kissing with food in our mouths. Laughing with food in our mouths.

We both work early. Sometimes I will get up extra early and make us an absurdly large breakfast. We let the dirty pots and pans and dishes sit on the counter all day. I think about you while I work. I wonder if you’re thinking about me. I think so.

I try to show you a movie I like and you fall asleep halfway through. That’s alright. I can watch and you can sleep with your head on a pillow and your legs across mine. I look at you.

Avoiding talking about the same thing together is a communication.

It only keeps happening because you keep doing it.

You didn’t because I did. And I did because you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t because I could. I could because you could not. You could not because I am. And I am because you didn’t. You didn’t because I did. And I

Don’t say to a room full of people what you only want one person to hear.

Oh his ex girlfriends will all seem unsympathetic portraits until you become one.