if i haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you don’t worry it will happen 

if the pope can give up then so can i

*passionately sings the wrong line to a song*

if you think i hate you there’s a 98% chance you’re right so leave me alone

I’m going to get married just so I can watch scary things bc its guaranteed that I don’t have to sleep alone

I really want to run away from all my work and responsibility but that seems like a lot of work and responsibility

i never start conversations with people reason being i think i’ll annoy you so don’t take it personally if we’re close and i don’t start the convo ok

don’t ever assume someone likes you because 10/10 times they don’t

“Every once in a while,
you flicker across my heart
like a lighthouse does an ocean, and I wonder who you’re calling home.”

im having one of those unattractive days

i mean years

i’m tasteless but so is water and we all need that

have you ever liked someone so much you started hating them

if you wanna be my lover you better not fucking get with my friends

i find bad jokes funnier than funny jokes

all faces are made of skin and bones but some are considered attractive and some aren’t and that’s weird to think about

Still having feelings for someone who only in the end hurt you, one by one they all were the same.

one day i’m going to wake up really fit and attractive and you will all be sad you didn’t flirt with me earlier

PE Teacher: why are you running so slowly 
Me: It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you do not stop - Wisdom of Confucius

time flies when you’re throwing watches

i hate when people think youre lying just because you laugh