You deserve people in your life who understand you at your core. Who don’t have misconceptions about your personality or your intentions. People who not only “get you” but also care about your wellbeing and won’t betray your trust.
As hard as it may be to believe, you have intrinsic worth independent of your achievements. You matter even when you’re incapable of doing anything.
Other people’s advice may be grounding and useful for comparison purposes but at the end of the day your instincts are there for a reason. Sometimes nobody knows better than your gut.
Maybe if humans were like plants we’d take better care of each other. Humans can die from the inside if nobody’s checking to make sure we’re watered, to make sure we’re getting enough sunlight. Humans look perfectly okay on the outside when neglected but plants can be seen withering away. Please don’t let the pain of the people you love go unnoticed. Please pay attention to the signs.
school, especially university, is not just about doing well academically. it’s also about doing well socially so that you also do well mentally. for many it’s difficult to balance all of these. realize that your health/wellbeing is the most important. if school is making you feel overwhelmed, take a step back and try to do what adds to your overall wellbeing. it could be changing how you interact w certain ppl or changing your attitude towards grades. school ends eventually. don’t let it get the best of you.
It’s not strange to still have your hopes up, but plan accordingly just in case it never happens. They might never come back to you.
I used to get disappointed with myself for things other people did to me. Now I put the blame where it’s supposed to go. However, dealing with being disappointed in other people hasn’t made me feel any better. It’s either I’m a disappointment or they’re a disappointment, and either way I end up feeling like shit
your need to rationalize everything could be your downfall. bad things don’t always happen for a reason. not everything’s your fault.
I can’t promise that “it gets better”. Your environment might not change at all. But there is hope that YOU will get better - better at coping, better at healing. And that makes all the difference.
stop putting so much effort towards relationships that aren’t going anywhere
Daily tip: if someone can fall asleep knowing you’re crying, knowing you’re hurting or didn’t get home safe, they don’t care about you.
many people have trouble finding a therapist that works for them. many people have gone through multiple therapists and found that, in general, individual therapy hasn’t been helpful to them. especially if you’re someone who does a lot of introspection and you feel like you already have exhausted all the options your therapist is giving you. you’re not the only one struggling to find someone who can help you, I promise. know that it might not be a therapist it might be someone down the line, a new friend or a family member you haven’t had a heart to heart with. know that sometimes you’re your own optimal therapist, the one that you need. just know that healing will come if it hasn’t already. you are not alone.
To love strongly is a curse; it’ll bring lots of pain long before (if ever) it brings joy.
you have to look out for yourself in every sense bc nobody else gives a damn. they might seem like they do now, but let me tell you, nothing is certain and nothing is constant.
I think part of being sensitive means we react intensely to many things, because we feel things harder, and that includes love. That’s why we end up falling for people or wanting to be close friends with people after just meeting them. This is dangerous. Know that what you’re feeling is more of an infatuation towards an idea of a person; it’s not who they really are. You just met; calm down.
there was nothing you could’ve done to protect yourself. there was nothing you should have noticed; sometimes there are no signs. we can’t control the amount of pain we face and often we can’t control our reactions to that pain.
all we can do is continue on in the hopes that there are good days ahead
some people only want you at your best; that’s when they’re able to get the most out of your presence. if you get sick, especially with a mental illness, you’re no longer a prime being that they want to spend time with. they can’t use you anymore so they ditch you. this is a common phenomenon so don’t be surprised if this happens to you. it’s not your fault. most people are just assholes.
the “you don’t need anyone, go find yourself” mentality is bullshit. we all need other people. we can’t function entirely on our own. introspection is possible while maintaining relationships. and sometimes we’re tired of finding ourselves! sometimes we know every damn thing about ourselves and we just want someone to learn about us, understand us.
YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BEG SOMEONE TO CARE.
I get so excited about the idea of getting to know people. They’ll be strangers, and I just like the potential of what we could be. I wish other people felt like that about me.
they didn’t know a thing about you. they never asked the important questions. they ignored your cries for help. they truly never cared about you. so don’t give a damn about them either.
It’s not that nobody cares, there are people who’d care, you’re just around the wrong people. I know I’d care. And maybe that’s enough. Maybe it just takes one person.
Them not loving/wanting you is a reflection of them, not of you.
you have such high expectations, and they’re impossible for any one person to achieve. contrary to popular belief, it’s okay to be average. you can make it to your goal by just getting by one day at a time. slow everything down and it will still be okay
if you have a sport or love doing art or anything along those lines, hold onto that - because living life without the feeling of belonging to anything, or without having a sense of purpose, can be difficult
some nights more than others we yearn for someone by our side; some want you to dismiss these days and say you don’t need anyone. that’s not true. it’s okay to feel lonely. many of us yearn for contact with others.
allow these nights to come and allow them to go
people who care about you will show you in the way they talk to you, the way they listen to you, and what they’re willing to do for you. in the same ways, those who don’t care about you will also make it clear. pay attention to the cues.
life is so much harder when you hate yourself so if you find something that lessens your self-hatred, and it doesn’t harm anyone, please do it.
stop falling for people with the same name
you can be doing everything right while everything goes wrong. it’s not your fault - life is just unfair. someone has to get the short sticks.
it’s okay to reach out to someone you once loved
at night whispers become roars, I’m sorry it’s so hard to quiet your mind
don’t fall in love with a memory
find me someone that can help me forget about them
there are people who really are glad to see you happy
thank people while they’re there for you. you never know when they won’t be
you may be frustrated that you aren’t moving forward, you may feel stuck, but remember that you don’t have to keep growing if you don’t have the foundation. you are conserving your energy for something big
i want you to look at me like the world is on fire and i am the last ocean. i want you to see in my eyes the softness of summer mornings and the quiet of library afternoons. i want you to feel the earth slide under you when i look at you. i want you to find my name in tree bark, in the way that clouds look when they threaten to storm, in stones. i want the world to light up when i am around, i want everything else to seem somehow small and insignificant, as if we are just two dust motes who discovered ourselves in a sunbeam. i want my absence to be a cavern you cannot fill, regardless of what you do.
i want you to feel about me the way i already feel for you.
i wish people knew without asking. somehow sense it. i had a hard day; please love me a little more than usual. something in that is a weight that’s too much to carry. it’s much easier to ignore it, to fight through it. the answer to not sleeping, to wide eyes, to a hurt you can’t ignore. just hide it until you can deal with it in private. i had a hard day, and my soul is melting into the floor. i had a hard day, please don’t ask me the details, just hold me and don’t let go.
i love finding the small unique things that are beautiful about people. the girl who has perfect handwriting, the boy with a mote in his eye, the slight quirk of a smile, how they always tip high, the loops in their signature, the pictures of sunsets they save in their phone, the plant in their window, the facts they know about historical musicals - these things that are hard to recognize as wonderful and special in yourself, but in other people, it feels like discovering a small world
when you have to pretend not to care about someone else, about how they kissed someone new, about how they forgot about you: there is a special kind of teeth that find your stomach in those moments. jaws that don’t let go
when someone loves you - really loves you - treat them gently. text your best friend back when you can. tell your mother you noticed her haircut and that she was right about that recipe. tell your grandfather that the boats in his bottles are the best things you’ve ever seen. be good to the people who are good to you. it’s the least you can do.
the problem is, sometimes you’re so scared of being hurt, you’re the one who runs.
745 days in classes for
6.5 hours a day, plus the added snow days
5 hours a night on homework even though it never taught me anything
3 hours a day on the extra-curricular activities i would have loved but was too tired to enjoy
2 hours a week volunteering half for the good of humanity and half because it looked good on an application
9 hours a night studying for finals
10.5 hours a week trying to get everyone in my group to just do the project and then
5 hours just doing the project myself when they didn’t pull though
12 hours a week working at a minimum wage place where people would sneer at me
4 hours making meals i’d have to eat in the back of classes
2 hours a day having panic attacks
4 hours a week having a mandatory breakdown before spending
12.5 hours repairing the damage i had done while self-destructing
and you want me to spend a hundred thousand dollars to go to your college.
motherfucker, do i not deserve it? did i not work for it?
did i not bust this ass no matter how bad i hurt to pull myself
out of my glorious bed and put myself in hard chairs to learn shit
i will never use again? did i not push myself to the limits
of what humankind can deal with? did i not force my body
to go sleepless, to go eatless, to go sore and sick and panicked?
did i not buy this education with my own body? did
i not already endure every shitty problem, every drama,
motherfucker, did i not already earn it?
she’s the summer you never forget. i’m the winter that took the life from your chest.
i believe in the saddest of us, who tell me: if love was a river, i would be a desert. i believe that the love you don’t see is left for other things; in your passions, in your friendships, in your hobbies. the saddest people are the softest of us, know how it feels to hurt, do their best to make happiness where there is none. i believe even those who think they are unloved: you radiate the warmth you are not shown.
I can’t wait until I don’t have to wait anymore.
love has different forms. realize that not everyone will recognize your love for what it is. you yourself might not understand it
you’ll never know why it chose to happen to you
you don’t have to be perfect to be loveable
you owe it to yourself to be selfish sometimes
you can’t fix another person by by being with them, but you can make their journey a lot easier and that in itself is enough.
tend to yourself first, because if you bloom, think of all the little seeds you can spread to help others.
concept: we live in a crowded apartment in the city. neither of us really know what we’re doing, but every night we sleep in each other’s arms, and every day we wake up to messy hair and soft smiles. we don’t know where we’re going, but we’re going together and everything is going to turn out alright.
the more you focus on yourself, the more others will focus on you.
there’s someone for you, and they’re dying to find you just as much as you’re hoping to find them.
all the little failures along the way will make your inevitable success so much sweeter
you’ll find someone and they’ll do all the little things with you that you’ve always dreamed of