Just because someone seems all fine and dandy doesn’t mean they aren’t dying inside. You never know who is hurt.

Because I cannot depend on others to create my happiness.

I want to be happy by myself.

On my own.

All you are is a stranger. 
But I have begun to crave the
Strength in your voice. 
Your indignation.

I know nothing about you.
But I miss your presence
When I am alone at night.

All I know is how I feel.
And while it doesn’t make sense.
Somehow,
You do.

I have already made too many mistakes.

I have climbed up trees too tall to climb back down.

I have swam far out into the ocean and lost the feeling in my limbs.

And I have told all the wrong people my worst secrets.

And all the right people, only lies.

But, perhaps my worst mistake of all, was falling for you

when you did not know I existed.

And then pretending I did not know you did.

Sometimes there are too many reasons.

Reasons that multiply by the hour;

building and building inside my broken body.

But most of the time there are no reasons.

And I just sit here waiting for a purpose for all this pain. For it all to end.

It never comes. It never ends.

I am floating out at sea. Drifting endlessly.

I am not struggling to stay afloat. Something is holding me above the water.

Something is stopping, what would have been, my imminent demise.

But, I am not sure if it is you, or just the prospect of you

that is keeping me alive.

These people I call my friends. They cannot even see how madly I have fallen for you. 

But I guess you cannot either.

My soul is bleeding. I have applied pressure but the wound is too deep. And the pain is too raw.

You saw my pain, washed out in the rain. Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins. But you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart

Diamonds will never sparkle
brighter than your eyes.

A stranger once told me
that my eyes lit up
when I talked about what I love to do.

Who says the love of your life
has to be a person you're close with?

I don’t want to wait forever
and I’m afraid that I might.

I’m afraid to write your name
for once pen meets paper
you exist
outside of my daydreams
and existence
tends to bring out the flaws in us. 

Every word you have collected
seems meaningless
when all that fits is
goodbye
but no one wants to say it. 

When we left
I said
It was nice to meet you.
What I wanted to say
was
Thank you
for reminding me
I do not need to settle
For showing me
that there are people
who will understand me
and will listen when I speak.
I was lost
in your eyelashes
and the smoothness of your voice
as hours ticked away
without telling us
they were leaving.

Everyone keeps asking
how I feel about you
and I never know
how to respond
but my deep thoughts
don’t mean nothing,
do they?

These are the people you want to know.
They are not made of wax;
they have stories.


I miss you
on nights like these
with cool breezes
and cloudless skies
but when I imagine telling you this
in the least romantic
but most truthful way
I can’t hear your reply
which used to excite me
when your words kept flowing
until hours after we should have slept
but instead of quiet anticipation
when I could hear my heart beating
and bones shaking
all I feel is silence.