I never knew my favorite color until you painted my heart with shades of blue. ” //“ I don’t play with fire but I’d burn for you. ”/ “ Dreams are paintings that you create. ” // “ Stars are the perfect metaphor of life: everything is prettier when it’s watched from a distance. ” //Unrequited love doesn’t scare me. What really scares me is timing, what if I like you and you like me back but we’re not ready to be loved yet? // I guess, in love, we are all nothing but moths, drawn to the flame that we know will only burn us.

Złamałeś mnie.
Tak jak silny wiatr łamie potężne drzewa.
Tak jak powódź niszczy zaporę wodną.
Tak jak młotek łamie za słabą śrubę.

Keep loving me like you’re meeting love for the first time.

People wait
all week for Friday, 
all year for Summer, 
and all life for Happiness





Never open your heart to someone who doesn’t let you into theirs.

Love is a mixture of “leave me alone” with “stay a little more.”



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I used to be the girl who cried over boys, now I’m the girl who makes boys cry.



okay but silk dresses, roses, warm coffee on chilly autumn mornings, scented candles, the sound of rain and soft tunes


even if no one sees your art or photos, don’t stop creating them.



you know when you’re driving and its pouring down rain, you drive under a bridge and everything stops. everything goes silent and its almost peaceful. then you finally get out from under the bridge and everything hits you a little harder than before.
you were my bridge.






One of the huge mistakes people make is that they try to force an interest on themselves. You don’t choose your passions; your passions choose you.

im picky and i pick u

you can really tell when people lose that spark for you






may september be filled with productivity & self improvement





i overthink in #mycalvins

drake warned me about you



 

sexuality?2) if you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?3) grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.4) what do you think about most?5) what does your latest text message from someone else say?6) do you sleep with or without clothes on?7) what's your strangest talent?8) girls.... (finish the sentence); boys.... (finish the sentence)9) ever had a poem or song written about you?10) when is the last time you played the air guitar?11) do you have any strange phobias?12) ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?13) what's your religion?14) if you are outside, what are you most likely doing?15) do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?16) simple but extremely complex. favorite band?17) what was the last lie you told?18) do you believe in karma?19) what does your url mean?20) what is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?21) who is your celebrity crush?22) have you ever gone skinny dipping?23) how do you vent your anger?24) do you have a collection of anything?25) do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?26) are you happy with the person you've become?27) what's a sound you hate; sound you love?28) what's your biggest "what if"?29) do you believe in ghosts? how about aliens?30) stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? do the same with your left arm.31) smell the air. what do you smell?32) what's the worst place you have ever been to?33) choose east coast or west coast?34) most attractive singer of your opposite gender?35) to you, what is the meaning of life?36) define art.37) do you believe in luck?38) what's the weather like right now?39) what time is it?40) do you drive? if so, have you ever crashed?41) what was the last book you read?42) do you like the smell of gasoline?43) do you have any nicknames?44) what was the last movie you saw?45) what's the worst injury you've ever had?46) have you ever caught a butterfly?47) do you have any obsessions right now?48) what's your sexual orientation?49) ever had a rumor spread about you?50) do you believe in magic?51) do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?52) what is your astrological sign?53) do you save money or spend it?54) what's the last thing you purchased?55) love or lust?56) in a relationship?57) how many relationships have you had?58) can you touch your nose with your tongue?59) where were you yesterday?60) is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?61) are you wearing socks right now?62) what's your favorite animal?63) what is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?64) where is your best friend?65) spit or swallow?(;66) what is your heritage?67) what were you doing last night at 12 am?68) what do you think is satan's last name?69) be honest. ever gotten yourself off?70) are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?71) you are walking down the street on your way to work. there is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. what do you do?72) you are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) what do you do with your remaining days? c) would you be afraid?73) you can only have one of these things; trust or love.74) what's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?75) what are the last four digits in your cell phone number?76) in your opinion, what makes a great relationship?77) how can i win your heart?78) can insanity bring on more creativity?79) what is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?80) what size shoes do you wear?81) what would you want to be written on your tombstone?82) what is your favorite word?83) give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.84) what is a saying you say a lot?85) what's the last song you listened to?86) basic question; what's your favorite color/colors?87) what is your current desktop picture?88) if you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?89) what would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?90) one night you wake up because you heard a noise. you turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by mummies. the mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. what do you do?91) you accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. they were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! what is that power?92) you can re-live any point of time in your life. the time-span can only be a half-hour, though. what half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?93) you can erase any horrible experience from your past. what will it be?94) you have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. who would it be?95) you just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. you have to depart right now. where are you gonna go?96) do you have any relatives in jail?97) have you ever thrown up in the car?98) ever been on a plane?99) if the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?


Usually, the people that are heartless left their heart in another person’s hands letting them crush it.

Notice all the people who make an effort to stay in your life.
they're keepers/

Human relationships are strange. I mean, you are with one person a while, eating and sleeping and living with them, loving them, talking to them, going places together, and then it stops


love will teach you how to sleep with one eye open and to never fully fall asleep in case they text you with that break up text.

sometimes you need to know that we confuse love and lust, or the idea of love seems beautiful so we pretend its there.
love teaches you that you wasted 1 year of your time with someone who couldn’t even remember your birthday or doesn't even know that your right eye is a bit bigger than your left.


but we learn the hard way that things wont buy someones love and time wont mean they'll appreciate you more and sex wont make them see you as beautiful.



 Kissing you was like drinking coffee with too much sugar in it. 

I am art.
But you showed me that the parts of me that aren’t framed can be beautiful too.
You’re gone now, and you forgot to give me back my heart.
I think I last saw it somewhere in your glove compartment.
But that’s not the point.
The point is I am art.
But you showed me I am more than art.
You showed me I can be a human too. 

 I may be an artist, but you my dear are art itself. You are every simile in every poem I’ve never finished. You are the line that finishes the drawings I’ve yet to start. You are the perfect chord in the songs that tell stories I haven’t heard yet. I work hour after hour trying to create what you put in the world just by being in it. 


 I write. I write what I see and what I feel. I write about the people I’ve kissed. I write about the people I’ve loved. I write about the boy who never did figure out if I was the one he was looking for and the girl who was sure I was. I write about the not quite man who swore he’d never stop wanting me. And I write about a beautiful person who would never truly be mine. Now I look at you, with your warm eyes and kind smile, and for the first time in my life, I’m at a loss for words. 

 You are like the night.
Beautiful and mysterious.
But also cold and lonely.
You are like the night.
Wonderful from afar but terrifying to be thrown in the middle of. 

xi. I loved you. Still do. That’s beautiful, but it’ll be gone soon too. ”




“ You pray for the sunshine, I pray for the rain. You love for the pleasure, I love for the pain. ”


i wonder if i had not known you
this place, this word, this name
would still taste sweet and soft 
on the tip of my tongue
not lodged in my throat like a 
cry being forced down.

Yes, even now
missing you hurts. ”


“ They’re staring at each other like how an artist stares at their masterpiece. ”


“ You sometimes do stupid things in the hope of getting better. ”


“ if there is a life after all of this, this crazy adventure I have fought so hard to share with you, meet me there. ”

i regret that i didn’t go when i should. 


every time I see a shooting star I wish for the same thing


She is not just a masterpiece, she is an explosion of colors, she is a full art museum but you seem to be blind in front of her; you don’t grasp her beauty. You see her but you don’t watch her, not the way you should watch a work of art.

It’s not that we lack of self-confidence; the problem is that we go look for it in a place where we can’t find it. It’s like looking for a pair of jeans at the bakery shop.

current mood: I need to explore a deep misty forest very far away


All I wanted was to know you and for you to know me. I see you everywhere I go, everywhere I turn. You’re always there but not with me. I remember your shadow, I can almost feel it but never touch it. You’re the substance of my dreams; vivid in my mind when I’m asleep and faded when I wake up. And only in my dreams I can finally meet you again.
Don’t you realize how lucky you are? Being able to make people feel something without even touching them.
Why did you have to go? Why did you have to take that last bus and never come back? That thing you did was an easy way out for you but it brought a lot of darkness to us. We didn’t ask for it, so why did you do it? But I guess I see it, all the love in the world isn’t enough if you don’t love yourself.
Be a person who’s presence is desired and their absence missed
Even fire can burn when it’s overwhelmed by something bigger.
Why be a pretty star when you can be a furious hurricane?
I want everything. The whole package. I want to share secrets with you on the top of a skyscraper at 4 am but I also want to share my cereals at breakfast and tell you all about my favorite shows. I want to go on an adventure but also stay in all day and cuddle. I want all the stories to be ours. I want us to be a fucking cliché and the most unpredictable hurricane ever.
People talk about distant galaxies and the presence of aliens but they don’t realise that we already have all of that; we have people who are considered strange and outcasts and about galaxies, well apparently, they’ve never looked into your eyes.
The problem is that you’re my favorite song and I’m just that summer song that everyone likes for a while and then totally forget about it.
I like metaphors because they have the ability to explain something so simple in such fancy words . Why should I say that I want to kiss you when I could say that I want to be fed only by the taste of your lips?
“Sensitive people start crying for something in particular and then cry for everything else that went wrong in their life.”

  • Clean your room - or at least your desk/bed/floor. It will help your head to feel clear too.
  • Open your curtains & windows - fresh air and natural light can do wonders in my experience. Plus, it helps regulate your sleep, appetite, and mood.
  • Take a shower or have a bath - especially important if you haven’t had one in a while. This will help you feel refreshed.
  • Put on clean clothes - and put the clothes you were wearing in the wash.
  • If you tend to spend all your time in your room, get out of it for a bit - do something in the kitchen or lounge, or go for a walk (even if it’s just around the block)
  • Stretch - there are plenty of stretching and yoga videos on you tube. Look some up and give them a go.
  • Drink a glass of water - and keep one near you too. I’m sure you already know this, but staying hydrated is important.
  • Get the hard/important tasks out of the way while you have the energy -when we have mental illness, running out of energy early in the day is very normal. Try to get all the most important things done first.
  • Have some comfort food, but make sure you eat healthy too - it’s alright to eat something you like, but have some fruit and vegetables too. If you don’t like plain fruit, consider making a smoothie instead.
  • Set some goals - it doesn’t matter how small or big they are (eg. have 3 meals today, go for a walk in the afternoon), whether they are daily or weekly, but achieving goals can make you feel as though you have accomplished something.
  • And finally, remember that it is okay to have bad days - bad days don’t mean you’ve lost all progress in your recovery, and they don’t make you worthless or a bad person. Don’t give up just because you’ve had a bad day/week/etc. It’s okay to have days that don’t go so great. Stay strong xx


Summer is sleepless nights spent on the phone with you, racing at who can be awake the longest and falling asleep with the phone under your pillow. Summer is eating lots of ice creams and taking selfies. Summer is dreaming about all the places we could go and promising that we’ll do it one day. I can’t help it but summer smells like you.


Here’s the truth no one ever told you: happiness is a chemical solution.
1. Your New Year’s Resolutions.
2. Personal fact file.
3. Review of 2014
4. How can you treat yourself more gently this year? Things you could lighten up on yourself about?
5. List 5 simple activities to nurture yourself.
6. What do you need to stop worrying about?
7. Secret
8. What do you repeatedly re-evaluate? Can you let it go?
9. List things you should be proud of.
10. What negative phrases do you say about your body? Can you replace them with positive affirmations about your body?
11. List 10 things your body does that is amazing.
12. How are you sleeping?
13. Friendship
14. In my heart I know the one way I can nurture my bod more this year is ___.
15. What makes you feel loved and cared for?
16. How does social media affect you?
17. List your greatest comforts.
18. Book Review
19. Design your outdoor area/garden.
20. Who do you want to surround yourself with this year?
21. An artist that inspires you.
22. List current and future goals and dreams.
23. What’s something you do differently to other people?
24. List what you are grateful for.
25. What’s something you want to do but haven’t?
26. Imagination.
27. List things you do to procrastinate.
28. Do you feel worthy of nurturing and gentle care? How does it feel for you to say ‘I am deserving of loving care. I take time to take care of myself?’
29. List words that touch your soul.
30. I wish animals could…… If they could, then…..
31. Has your greatest fear come true?
32. Never have I ever list.
33. What’s holding you back?
34. List dream jobs.
35. Favourite recipe.
36. List fictional characters with whom you have fallen in love.
37. Focus.
38. I am inspired by…
39. Your favourite flower?
40. Movie Review.
41. ‘If I won the lottery’ list.
42. In this moment are you happy?
43. Hope.
44. List things you like to do when you’re sick.
45. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
  1. 46.  ‘If I ruled the world’ list.
47. Words to live by.
48. I wish I had one more chance to….. Then I would…..
49. 5 things you want in a relationship.
50. My overused words and phrases.
51. Dream.
52. Recipe for a perfect weekend.
53. Make a table, 10 things you love and hate about your body.
54. List your greatest achievements.
55. Doodle here.
56. What’s your happiest childhood memory?
57. In ten years from now where would you like to be?
58. What’s your perfect trip?
59. When have you felt most passionate?
60. Your skills.
61. I wish I could forget the time I ….. because….
62. Book Review.
63. Believe.
64. If not now – when?
65. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
66. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day before?
67. Write a letter, Dear Past Me.
68. What would you wish for if a genie granted you 3 wishes?
69. The most disappointed I’ve ever been…
70. What scares you?
71. Mystery.
72. 10 television shows.
73. Nobody knows that I…
74. Your favourite scent?
75. Do you cope with stress? How?
76. List your essentials.
77. Plan a romantic evening.
78. Your saddest memory?
79. What’s the difference between being alive and truly living?
80. Mistake.
81. I wish I had a million… Then I would…
82. List books.
83. Decide upon a three course meal.
84. If we learn from mistakes why are we so frightened of making them?
85. What’s something you’ve learnt today?
86. What was your favourite school subject?
87. 10 celeb crushes.
88. The most fun I’ve ever had…
89. What are you looking forward to?
90. List places you want to go.
91. Laughter.
92. Describe each day of the week as if it was a person?
93. Are you a worrier?
94. The tattoos you have?
95. 10 things to do before your next birthday. (95)
96. Who was your best friend?
97. List favourite quotes.
98. Favourite colour combos.
99. Movie review.
100. Who do you admire?
101. I wish I could learn….. because…..
102. Look through a magazine – what images stand out?
103. The biggest lie I’ve ever told is…
104. Favourite animation.
105. Something out of reach…
106. A mistake you won’t make again?
107. Wisdom.
108. List things that feel like home.
109. I am…
110. I’m not very good at…
111. List things you want to be known for.
112. What was your favourite toy?
113. Your character traits.
114. Pause.
115. Describe your dream job.
116. Write a letter, Dear Future Me.
117. Make an A-Z list of things that you want to do.
118. Write about your first job?
119. Adventure.
120. List of websites.
121. Ways to waste time…
122. Table of Do’s and Don’ts
123. Your make-up bag?
124. What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve ever done?
125. What makes you miserable?
126. Energy.
127. Things you find beautiful?
128. There’s no excuse for…
129. The most terrifying moment of my life was…
130. What was your first car?Design your bedroom.
131. In 25 years will you be proud of the things you did or regret the things you didn’t do?
132. Write a mantra.
133. Your bucket list.
134. Proud.
135. A-Z list of words to describe you.
136. What makes you unique?
137. Your next tattoo?
138. Lyrics of meaning.
139. Movie review.
140. Collection of jokes.
141. What happiness means to you?
142. Doodle here.
143. Simple.
144. List 3 things that went right or wrong today.
145. How do you deal with anger?
146. Are you forgiving?
147. Things I always did with my dad when I was young…
148. List things that remind me of a my childhood.
149. Favourite emotion?
150. What is magic?
151. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
152. When do you make excuses?
153. Unique.
154. List bad habits.
155. Childhood games.
156. List family traditions.
157. Something you overheard today.
158. Choose a poem.
159. List things that motivate you.
160. Grace.
161. Get a map and plan a route.
162. Qualities you look for in a boyfriend?
163. Your pet.
164. Your definition of beauty.
165. Plan a perfect date.
166. List things that happened on the day you were born.
167. Myth.
168. List of questions.
169. Your perfume?
170. HTML colour codes.
171. List pet peeves.
172. Robert Frost write a poem titled The Road Not Taken.  Name a road you’ve always wanted to travel.  Where do you hope it takes you, and what might you see on the way?
173. Hug.
174. Ways to relax…
175. Your favourite albums?
176. Authors whose work you enjoy.
177. The worst nightmare you’ve ever had?
178. 5 things you can’t live without?
179. Every child deserves…
180. What would you change about the world?
181. List things to collect.
182. Plan an exercise routine.
183. I wish I had enough money to……
184. Cocktail recipe.
185. List summer goals.
186. Best advice given.
187. Religion.
188. Your favourite piece of classical music.
189. Your talents?
190. What 5 traits do people first notice when they meet you for the first time?
191. List of 10 boy names.
192. Designer inspiration.
193. How much will power do you have?
194. Your favourite place and why?
195. Place your playlist on shuffle, write the lyrics to first song played.
196. List people you love.
197. Think back to the toys of your childhood.
198. Choose some scenery.
199. Favourite days of the year.
200. Today’s horoscope.
201. I wish everyone loved……
202. Advice to your best friend.
203. What does your sleeping position say about you?
204. Is there a heaven?
205. Things I always did with my mam when I was young…
206. Who would you like to thank for something they did for you in the past?
207. Favourite holiday.
208. Design something.
209. What did you buy today?
210. Favourite colour palette.
211. Are you competitive?
212. Create a pattern.
213. Your pet.
214. Find a new poem.
215. Independent.
216. What does love mean to you?
217. Ten ways to improve yourself.
218. Miracle.
219. Your karaoke song.
220. Here is what others see me as …
221. Your favourite weather.
222. What is your personal secret to happiness?
223. What does real success in life mean to you?
224. Things that happened ten years ago today…
225. Vision.
226. Your blog.
227. Your favourite season.
228. Honestly.
229. Mission in life…
230. In three words, describe your life.
231. Dreams for someday…
232. What do you think of the saying YOLO?
233. Best advice received.
234. What are means to you?
235. Most valued idea.
236. Most fun day ever.
237. Are you brave?
238. Happiest moment lately.
239. Who am I really?
240. Yesterday, I was…
241. What kind of day are you having, and why?
242. Your wedding song?
243. In what areas are you optimistic, and in what areas are you pessimistic?
244. Describe your life in colour.
245. What do you see in the mirror?
246. Future.
247. Interior design inspiration.
248. Success.
249. The headlines today are…
250. Write down today’s stresses.
251. What is your earliest memory of home?
252. Qualities you look for in a friend?
253. A promise I must make myself.
254. Cloud.
255. Something you learnt the hard way?
256. Urgent challenges.
257. What would your superpower be?
258. Lost.
259. How much self-control do you have?
260. Who do you talk to when you have a problem?
261. Paint a picture.
262. Where would you like to be lost?
263. How old were you four years ago? Describe some things you can do now that you could not do then.
264. Book review.
  1. 265.  Choose a religion.
266. List of things to photograph.
267. A place you relax.
268. Favourite family photo.
269. Describe how university was for you?
270. A photo that makes you happy.
271. Complete.  
272. Use a newspaper for inspiration today.
273. Your house rules?
274. When I am old I will…
275. Who or what has had a strong influence in your life?
276. Write about climbing.
277. What’s the meaning of your name?
278. Make an emotional graph whilst listening to a song.
279. Doodle here
280. List places you would not visit.
281. What other profession would you do?
282. Power.
283. What does it feel like to be wrong?
284. Would you jump out of a plane?
285. What have you won?
286. Favourite brands.
287. Where do you feel most comfortable?
288. A woman who inspires you.
289. Which is least important to you–money, power, fame–and why?
290. Describe a dream that you had recently. Provide as many details as possible.
291. Why is it important to be honest?
292. A ridiculous law held in your country.
293. Why do you work where you work?
294. What’s your least favourite mode of transportation?
295. Place your playlist on shuffle and write the first ten songs that are played.
296. Where do you people watch?
297. Collect some wallpaper.
298. Movie Review
299. Draw optical illusions.
300. If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
301. What headline really got to you today?
302. Write about a difficult time in your life when you showed strength.
303. Best lesson you’ve ever learnt?
304. Something expensive you won’t buy yourself.
305. What historical events happened the year you were born?
306. Legend.
307. Does Never Never Land really exist?
308. Favourite candles.
309. List of fictional places you wish you could visit.
310. Do you look after yourself?
311. Seven things I love to do.
312. How does the weather effect you?
313. What do you think of animal testing?
314. Escape.
315. List five things you would buy if money wasn’t an object?
316. If you were a doctor, what kind of doctor would you be?
317. Open up a random book to page 33, and take the first sentence at the top of the page and start writing from it.
318. A-Z list of words that mean something to you.
319. Sometimes I pretend to be.
320. Describe your relationship with your grandparents.
321. As a writer, my dream come true would be…
322. List 3 things that went right today.
323. Trace your hand, write words on how you feel today inside.
324. Favourite superhero?
325. I promise to…
326. What effect does music have on you?
327. What can you see out of your window right now?
328. Name one thing you have always been good at doing.
329. What is your favourite form of exercise?
330. A festival you would like to experience?
331. The problem with being me is that…
332. Today’s fashion inspiration.
333. Families are important because…
334. Are you doing what you believe in or what you believe you should be doing?
335. What era inspires you?
336. A myth or legend that intrigues you.
337. What really moves you?
338. Take a walk, what did you think about?
339. What must I do tomorrow?
340. What’s making you mad today?
341. Write a letter to your future daughter about growing up.
342. List of 10 girl’s names.
343. Write down something no one knows about you.
344. Give yourself a pep talk?
345. When I was a child I didn’t realise that…
346. Your starsign.
347. List of your firsts.
348. What would you tell your future self to stay more positive?
349. Book Review
350. Words that mean something to you.
351. List of things you look forward to.
352. Was today a good day?
353. Something that helped to shape your outlook to life?
354. Write a description of a winter’s scene.
355. Your Christmas shopping list?
356. Events to remember this year…
357. What did Christmas mean to you as a child?
358. What does Christmas mean to you now?
359. How was your Christmas?
360. What’s great about today?
361. Would you change anything about this year?
362. What are you proud of achieving this year?
363. What I learnt this year…
364. Words to describe 2014.
365. What are your resolutions for the upcoming year?


 Beauty is subjective, so isn’t every person beautiful to someone. 
no one’s ugly it’s just people who make us feel ugly

“ You don’t know how many drunken nights I’ve survived by not telling you I miss you. ”


“ Waking up in the morning to grip your cup of coffee while remembering that you needed to do something for someone, but then you’re reminded that this person is no longer around and you’re no longer the same and the stirring inside of your coffee, it’s a reminder that just because it was bitter, it doesn’t mean that it was never sweet; and just because it’s in your memories, it doesn’t mean that it’ll stay… ”


I knew I could write
when the words I whispered were
louder on paper ”


 I hope you think of me when the sky is pink. Whenever you look up at the moon.


People stay to watch fireworks 
They stay to watch sunsets
And magic
They don’t stay to watch the rain
They don’t stay for the storm.


“ Someday, you’ll just be a name. ”


 I don’t know what’s worse. 
Meeting wrong people at the right time or
Meeting right people at the wrong time. ”


“ Her eyes lit his starless nights. ”


“ You’re a constellation, leading me home. ”


“ She could make an atheist pray. ”


“ And I waited. ”


“ Art does no harm until you meet a person who is labeled as a masterpiece. ”



But then I got attached,
and now you’re gone,

“ The end is only the beginning ”

“ you look at her the way I looked at you ”

 Sometimes, 
it’s a little hard 
to let go 
of something 
that you thought 
was yours.

“ Of all the sad things I have ever heard, ‘I used to be so happy’ is the most heartbreaking of all. ”


 There is no warmth in February sunshine.
(But plenty of light.) ”

 i almost wish we were
lovers; holding hands under a 
starlit sky, laughing in grocery stores
after midnight, loving you
loving you loving you so much
and being loved back furiously and
softly and gently. i almost wish we
fireflies; lighting up the evening
sky with our love. maybe it doesn’t
work like that but maybe it should.
i almost wish we were closer;
your arms wrapped around me, my
heart enveloping yours, a green
light telling us to go forward together.
i think you have my heart. i can
almost feel you, a criss-crossed
mess of a lover, loving me back. 


“ Don’t listen to my eyes. They might lie. ”

Nie słuchaj moich oczu, mogą Cię okłamać. Mogą opowiedzieć o miłości, która zdaniem moich ust dawno już zniknęła. Mogą wyznać Ci, że tęsknią, choć żadna inna partia mojego ciała nie przyzna im racji. Nie słuchaj moich oczu, bo mogą przypadkiem wyznać Ci prawdę. 

Nasza wojna już się skończyła.
Pora odłożyć broń, opuścić flagi i oddać niepotrzebne ładunki. 
Pora podać sobie dłoń i spuścić wzrok.
Pora się pożegnać.


Co waży więcej - głucha cisza, czy puste obietnice?
Co waży mniej - nieistniejąca miłość czy wypalony płomień?
Co zajmuje więcej miejsca - metr kwadratowy pustki czy milimetr wieczności, którą mieliśmy ze sobą dzielić? 

I trzymałam Cię w ramionach o sekundę za długo, aby Cię puścić bez pożegnania.

Żyjesz w moich myślach. Odkąd Cię poznałam rozsadzasz mi głowę. Puchnie mi mózg. 
Żyjesz w moich snach. Spod moich zamkniętych powiek bucha gorąca para. 
Żyjesz w moim sercu. Bije w rytmie wspomnień, które przez nie przepływają. 
Żyjesz w moich żyłach i nie krąży w nich już nic poza czerwoną tęsknotą. 


Późno już.
Lepiej już pójdę.
Zanim Twoje spojrzenie wyprosi mnie brutalniej niż zegar. 

Może samotność śpi po drugiej stronie Twojego łóżka. Może wieczorami puka głośno do drzwi. Myślisz, że to w filmie, który oglądasz jednym okiem, więc nie zauważasz nawet kiedy wchodzi do pokoju.
Siada nieśmiało na kanapie. Ściąga buty i kładzie Ci się na kolanach, a Ty czujesz tylko jej ciężar, choć przecież jej nie widzisz. Idziecie razem spać. Razem, ale osobno. Zajmuje mało miejsca, ale głośno oddycha. Może to alergia, a może zaziębiła się błądząc chłodnymi nocami po mieście.
Dobrze, że okrywasz ją kołdrą. Wślizguje się pod nią i kładzie swoją nieporadną dłoń na Twoim sercu. Jest tak zimne jak jej palce. Przytula się do Ciebie i szepcze, że będzie Wam razem dobrze. Słyszysz tylko tajemnicze mamrotanie i mylisz je z bzyczeniem komara. Szybko zasypiasz, żeby się nie denerwować. Nie wiesz jeszcze, że ten odgłos stanie się Twoją nową kołysanką.

A kiedy wpadnę i zapytam czy mogę u Ciebie zasnąć powiesz, że nie ma już dla mnie miejsca. Jak to? Skąd wiesz, że samotności byłoby ze mną niewygodnie? Mogłabym ją ogrzać.Trójkąty mają ostre końce, ale może moglibyśmy je spiłować moimi paznokciami. 



Znajdź mnie w dziale z morelami, zastanawiającą się która odmiana bardziej przypomina odcień Twojej skóry.
Znajdź mnie w dziale z winogronem, zastanawiającą się z którego gatunku mogłabym pędzić wino tak gorzkie jak smak łez. 
Znajdź mnie w dziale z czekoladą, zastanawiającą się ile procent kakao potrzebuję, aby endofriny przywołały uczucie ekstazy pierwszego pocałunku.
Znajdź mnie w dziale z mlekiem, zastanawiającą się które jest tak białe jak kartka z Twoimi obietnicami.
Znajdź mnie w dziale z tartami, zastanawiającą się której spód jest tak kruchy jak nasza przyjaźń
Znajdź mnie w dziale z lodami, zastanawiającą się który jest zamrożony tak jak Twoje serce 
Znajdź mnie w dziale ze szklem, zastanawiającą się która szklanka rozbije się tak jak moje zaufanie 
Znajdź mnie w dziale z chińskimi zupkami, zastanawiającą się która jest tak sztuczna jak Twój uśmiech
Znajdź mnie w dziale z przeterminowanym towarem, zastanawiającą się który z nich jest tak zepsuty jak Twoja dusza
Znajdź mnie w dziale z pomidorami, zastanawiającą się którym bym w Ciebie rzuciła, gdybyś w porę nie zszedł ze sceny mojego życia. 
Znajdź mnie w dziale z ciastkami, zastanawiającą się które są tak słodkie jak te parę błogich chwil.
Znajdź mnie w dziale z ogórkami... 

Odnalazłam Cię, choć nigdy nie szukałam. 
Straciłam Cię, choć nigdy nie sądziłam, że można zgubić coś, czego się nie posiadało.

I może tego wieczoru, kiedy za oknem spadały miliony kropli deszczu,
Wtedy, kiedy nasze usta się zetknęły, ja też upadłam. 
I choć nie rozpłynęłam się w kałuży i nie uderzyłam twarzą o chodnik, 
nigdy nie opuściłam tego poziomu.

Czy to żal, tęsknota, czy ból? Trudno nazwać emocje, kiedy nie ma się już ani poczytalnego rozumu, ani sprawnego serca. 

Obiecalam sobie, że nie będę tęskniła. Codziennie łamię tę obietnicę.

Kiedy podawałeś mi herbatę, przypadkowo podałeś mi sznurek, którym się do Ciebie przywiązałam. Za każdym razem, kiedy się oddalasz uszkadzasz supeł i ranisz moją skórę. 


Środowy wieczór. 
Czwartkowy wieczór. 
Piątkowy wieczór. 
Jakie to ma znaczenie, kiedy tęsknota nie korzysta z kalendarza i nie rozróżnia dnia tygodnia?

Narzekałeś, że masz kiepską kondycję i brak formy, a jednak udało Ci się uciec przed moją miłością.
 

Nie jestem wydziaraną suką,
ani wytapetowaną anorektyczką. 
Ale dla Ciebie poszłabym pod maszynkę, lub pod nóż.

Nigdy Cię nie rozebrałam. Ściągnęłam z Ciebie jedynie ubranie. Sekrety wciąż pozostały na swoim miejscu. Nie rozpięłam rozporka tajemnic, nie odpięłam guzików Twoich zagadek, nie zerwałam z Ciebie traum, które nosisz. Dotykając Twojego nagiego ciała wciąż je czułam, ale zbyt kurczowo trzymały się skóry. Podrapałam je, ale odrosły silniejsze i przysłoniły mi całego Ciebie.


Nie bądź taki szczery, bo jeszcze zaksztusisz się zmyśloną prawdą. 

Jak wejść w nową relację, nie brudząc jej błotem na butach, wyniesionym z tej poprzedniej?
Jak wypłynąć na nowe wody, nie zahaczając o bagno przeszłości?






 Travelling is a lot like loving. At first you’re unsure about what to do but lovestruck by the beauty and then that place starts feeling like home, until you have to leave it.

You were my coffee in the morning, 
just a little bit too hot
burning numbness into my tongue
making sure I would remember you all day ”



“ Sometimes, when she smiles, you remember what love looks like. ”

“ You were cold to me, and yet you still lit a flame within my heart. ”


“ You were cold to me, and yet you still lit a flame within my heart. ”



“ Your hands don’t touch me the way that they used to and your eyes don’t look at me the way that they used to and you don’t love me the way that you used to and that’s okay. But I think I’d better go, there isn’t anything left to save here anymore. ”


“ I’ve been told that people have tendencies to choose the option that is safer, and, I am far from that. I am dangerous, highly toxic, with a dose of ‘I’ll drive you mad and crazy,’ but you’ll find yourself still thinking about me some day out of the blue. Even when I am gone. I know I am not safe. I know I am a ticking bomb waiting to go off. I know I am sometimes the brakes that don’t always work, leading to the crash that’s inevitable. I’m the steering wheel that will take you to all the wrong places, or maybe, maybe I am the hole in your tires, stopping you from getting to where you were heading. Hell, I’m even the cracks in your windows during the middle of winter, with the chilly breeze that makes your hands too cold to focus on what’s in front of you, or the dusty rear view mirror that prevents you from seeing clearly. I am dysfunctional. I am a wild ride. I will intoxicate you without whiskey or vodka, but you know what? I am one hell of a ride. I am sure worth the drive. ”


“ I still have nightmares about you. ”

 They all did ask me
what I saw in him.
They all did ask me,
himself included.
And I said,
‘Light.’
But now I know that
I am the sun and he,
well he was the lonely moon. ”

— that brightness I found in him was only a reflection of my own. he is cold and desolate by nature. /

“Often silence can give you the answers that people are unable to offer to you.”

You can love someone so much…But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.


I don’t like staying in a place for too long, reality might catch me.

Darling, you gotta fight your own battles or you’ll never learn how to win.

i express all of my emotions by saying “fuck” in varying tones



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http://www.pullandbear.com/pl/pl/dla-niej/body/body-z-napisem-c1010087522p100616527.html#800
https://www.intymna.pl/p1381,1167,0,89569,,dream-body,SID=8i5vk733r17cl5uulmo8dkg2fe34oihk

DANGER



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