“Words do not express thoughts very well. They always become a little different immediately after they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish.”

“Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it.”

This is a small collection of the most beautiful, sometimes empowering, sometimes heartbreaking messages my former lovers sent me months or years after we parted ways. For what it’s worth, we all receive such aftermaths when the fairytale is gone and usually, we have already mourned and got on with our lives. Truth is, no one ever forgets the ones they loved, and, as the song says, we should not look back in anger. If your ego is huge, like mine was when I received these texts, you will probably feel flattered, or, at worst, bothered by their intrusion back in your life. But if you have skilfully managed to overcome the sadness, despair, anger and lacklustre a failed relationship drags into your everyday life, sit down at a table, re-read your own letters from exes, and, if you don’t have the heart to burn them down, revel at the very fact that you have cast upon someone, somewhere, the power to love you in entirety.

I can always clone you, I still have your DNA.

Wherever you go, I hope you are with peace and coffee.

“There were a lot of words that we said, a lot of words that I would take back and would hoped for another ending of all of this. I just want you to know, even in this dark hour, knowing you and meeting you was the best part of my year, even better than publishing my book in Paris. I did a lot of wrong, maybe, I don’t know, but I will never regret it, I will never regret meeting you and knowing who you are behind that mask you wear outside. There are songs, movies, moments, lyrics and books that we used for references, but nothing compares to life itself. I wish I would had been just a bit different and we would had been ok.”

The thing is, nothing will teach you how to deal with the pain of rejection, to move on or to let go. Buddhism won’t, advice from books, friends and therapists won’t, going on shopping sprees, watching Brene Brown, TEDX or running around the globe in Eat Pray Love holidays won’t. It will hit you in a dull moment, probably when you’re having coffee in a fresh morning and you’re still very sleepy after last night’s party (yes, I still party, my 30s are here and I have only one life to live), when you’re doing dishes or when you’re talking to your ex lover and suddenly, the idealist painting you framed of him starts to fade out in front of what you have now.

What I have now? Well, I have a cliché. People like to say love happens when you least expect it. That’s a cliché, and clichés keep on existing because they are truth. After one year of running around from one country to another, the consuming thought I loved a person who did not even take the interest to meet me for a goodbye drink before I left for good – was still with me. Giving me headaches. Making me wonder if I’ll ever be free again. My life has been a row of breakups, affairs with emotionally unaffordable men (I like to compare them to expensive footwear) and addictions for bad boys.

I met someone who never stopped talking to me. I met someone who wanted to see me, meet me, talk to me every day, and who also valued concepts like friendship between men and women, had a deep understanding of life and was more interested in the woman he was trying to please on an emotional and physical level, rather than on his own need to thrive and make a womanizing statement.

But a good love is boring, I told myself, since there’s no passion, no tragedy, and no running in circles or chasing around fool’s gold. Jung says women prefer to fall in love rather than think a situation through. Now I believe that’s true, because sometimes we prefer to lie to ourselves instead of accepting a reality that would be too hard to bear. And I preferred to find excuses for my crushes, and imagine they still loved me but didn’t take to it because they were shallow. And they probably were, because that’s another way of lying to ourselves.

I lived my life and relationships trying to learn and integrate and simulate in my own household what I saw in others. This never made me happy. But instead, after all these years, I understood we can only be happy when we are in harmony with ourselves. I haven’t managed to be at peace or at pace with all my shortcomings and endeavours, but I realized something much more important at the beginning of this year:

____________________________________________________

I used to be the kind of child who didn’t care what they eat because I grew up in a time when McDonald’s did not replace lunch and dinner, and playing in the park with other kids was the only thing you could do – since iPad, tablets and Candy Crush where not invented. We didn’t have time to get bored, and if we did, we’d just open a book. There was not internet back then, while television was really something only adults did.

But then, in my early twenties, I became anorexic. My war against food ended up in the hospital after I’d only eat an apple a day for two months. Turns out, it didn’t keep the doctor away. This resulted in a very small stomach. Which is why, even now, years after my war with beauty is over, and I am a declared gourmand, I can only eat very little.

I don’t particularly like making New Year’s Resolutions – or any type of resolutions – because I’m much more of a fan of counting things I already achieved. And I think it’s a healthy habit. Projections can be tricky. Sure, we can make lists of our hopes, goals and dreams, but it’s good not to beat yourself up if you didn’t achieve everything on that list.

Maybe you also feel like you haven’t achieved anything, that paying taxes from your father’s couch is overwhelming, that you don’t know how to take care of your own children – or worse, that you don’t know if you want children, you don’t have whom to have children with, or you don’t have much time or chances to have children. Maybe you’re worried you are fat, unattractive, different from what people, magazines and internet says you should BE. Maybe, like me, you have a lot of white hair and think that’s a horror show. On top of all, you are probably terrified that one day your parents are going to die. Yes, that sounds harsh and unfair, but it’s also a fact, and you can’t get away with it – but I’m gonna get into the whole subject in a separate article.

I beg to differ on Charles Bukowski, who says nothing can save you, except writing. Sometimes, absolutely nothing will save you, not the nights you end up wasting waiting for something grand to happen, not the mornings where coffee has no taste and you wake up knowing the day will not be a blast, not the plans and schemes you write down on your imaginary flipchart to make the world go round. You end up stuck, alone and in the disparate points of chaos that drag you down, you have to come up with something to save yourself. Then you make six impossible wishes before breakfast, start walking and working and learn to seize what you call paranormal activity when it comes true.

_____________________________________________________________________

I have gotten used to saying goodbye

I have gotten used to saying farewell

I will see you again

Someday

Kiss all the bridges and gates for me

Forget me not;

Gotten used to keeping my mind alert

My baggage easy

And my memories inside my iPhone

To telling myself

The eye has to travel

So that my stories can unravel

But sometimes distance kills the best of intentions

Sometimes the home you find

Is different than the home you dreamt of

I like airports when it’s sunny

They remind me of summer

Serendipity

A life looked from afar

The promise that the Earth is round

And the hope that distance

Is only jet lag

Before coming back.

____________________________________

Always remember this: you CAN be whomever you want to be, you CAN be loved and love, you CAN be the maker of valuable things, you CAN touch others in meaningful ways. You just have to keep on loving and keep on fighting in the direction of your hopes and passions.

Now here’s what I didn’t want to admit to but eventually did, you have the right to leave. Everyone does I guess. The most important thing to me was that you were happy, and if you weren’t happy in my presence, then I’m hope you are now. I believe in people doing what makes them happy. Our time together, however short, I will always look back on with a smile on my face because at that time in my life you truly did make me glow. The things you have taught me, the memories, the inside jokes, I’ll never forget you.
Here’s what I’ve learnt: people will leave and you’ll survive. I survived days when I didn’t want to even be alive. You’re going to hate this, but people you love the most are going to cause you the most hurt, it’s a known fact. Forgive them when they do, even if you don’t get to see them or talk to them anymore, do it for you. You also shouldn’t wait on people to come back to claim you. They should’ve never left in the first place.

Do you still cry at night?
Do you still take a look at some old photographs?
Do you still wanna get drunk every night?
Do you still keep those couple shirts and mugs?
Do you still check his FB account?
Do you still smile then suddenly frown?
Do you still get insomnia and no sheep to count?

It’s okay to grieve.
It’s okay to cry and scream and just let it out.
Let all the pain be washed out by your waves of tears.

Shout!

Shout out deep from your lungs all the lies he put in your mind.
Then forget. Little by little, slowly and gently, try to forget.

Start from the smallest thing that meant the most.

Forget how he said your name.
Forget how he held your hand.
Forget how he stared at you every second you were together.
Forget how he serenaded you in the crowd.
Forget how he confessed his feelings.
Forget how much joy it brought him when you answered yes.
Forget how he first introduced you to his friends and family.
Forget how your first date turned out to be the worst yet memorable one.
Forget how you got to know each other’s flaws and imperfections.
Forget how he combed his hair every now and then.
Forget how he checked himself on the mirror.
Forget how he tried to look brave when he’s terrified.
Forget how he teased you when you fart.
Forget how he became an instant nurse when you’re ill.
Forget how he lied to surprise you for the first time.

But before you try to have amnesia and erase all of these in your mind…
Please be reminded that you shouldn’t forget the memories.
Forget how it felt.
Forget how it made your heart skip a beat.
Forget the feeling but not the memories.
For memories are to be treasured.
Good or bad. Happy or sad.
Pretty nice or pretty painful.
Memories should be remembered.

So after you forget all the unnecessary feelings
you had from the past, try to forgive.

Forgive him for not taking chances.
Forgive him for not taking risks.
Forgive him for letting you go.
Forgive him for not being contented.
Forgive him for navigating and getting lost.
Forgive him for finding a new home.
Forgive him for ripping your heart.
Forgive him for not making right decisions.
Forgive him for leaving you.
And most of all…

Forgive him for loving you.

_____________________________________________________________

What is heartbreak? I have never actually been able to comprehend how one individual could shatter the world of another’s. After all, happiness should come from within us, and should not be places in the hands of anyone else. These used to be my thoughts, until he came along. Now I sit alone, staring out of a window into a world of nothingness. With a heart so crumbled, that I think I’ve finally learnt what this affliction really is.

Our story was not a cliché, it was raw. They say that teenage love is not meant to last, but I really thought that our short-lived love affair would survive eternities. Nevertheless, that summer did feel like forever. Every waking moment was spent by his side, staring into his eyes – which resembled the ocean, and hearing his laugh which reminded me of innocence. He was beautiful, and so was his soul.

Our souls were connected, or so my misconception led me to believe. Dear god – did he fascinate me. We felt the same about the universe, about religion and about music. Even though his voice was the only melody I longed to hear. That’s how we met actually, at some stupid party surrounded by alcohol and deafening music. Intoxication got the Better of my confidence, and a week later we were on our first of many dates. We spent endless nights dancing until the sun rose. Nights filled with passion, nicotine and burning vodka. He made me feel alive, which is ironic because my soul now feels dead inside. I guess he did not mean to make me feel this way, but I do. After all our memories, he just walked away

Memories such as those we made in the summer. I still have sand in my sweaters from most of those nights. We were young and careless, with little money but a lot of love. That summer was spent in a rented apartment on the beach of a different city, with those I considered my favorite souls. He smoked as much as I breathed, and I guess that’s where we went wrong. His love for me, if there ever was any, was overpowered by the bottle and last promised cigarette.

The day he left me, alcohol was not running through his veins. Yet his eyes were empty, just as my world now is. Our love might have been unrequited, or perhaps it never was love. Infatuation maybe, or a meaningless joke. Either way, I now know what heartbreak is. So I’ll continue to light every unforgiven cigarette between my lips, blackening my lungs to level to his black heart.

Then maybe, just maybe, my broken pieces will mend, and soon I’ll be whole again.

____________________________________________________________________

People put so much effort into starting a relationship and so little effort into ending one,

I couldn’t stand more up to it. I mean, look at us. We meet people. We get involved, we fall in love. Then we fall out or apart and carry on looking for something or someone else. Sometimes by free will, some other times as requested by events. And the worst part is, we don’t ever get better. We are scarred, from every romantic mishap or life punch. We get all dramatic and shit because we are afraid to get close to anyone, and anyone is not getting any closer either, so we end up playing a major difficulty missed connections themed ancient computer game.

Set I

Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Would you like to be famous? In what way?
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
What do you value most in a friendship?
What is your most treasured memory?
What is your most terrible memory?
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
What does friendship mean to you?
What roles do love and affection play in your life?
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

http://www.artparasites.com/the-kinds-of-love-you-will-meet-in-this-life-explained-with-pictures/ !!!!!

Thinking is a full time job, and we’re still unemployed. We all think a lot, don’t we?

I hadn’t been planning to write specifically about thinkers, but then, the universe is the wittiest strategist, right?

We all have a person in our life who thinks more than we can think of thinking. He is not a mind reader, but he can be a strong conversationalist and quite a keen observer. Talk to him once and he can unfold all the closed chapters of your life.
I have developed a kind of liking for the people like them.
Although the reasons why you must befriend with someone who think a lot, is too long to sum up, but a few of them are as follows:-

1) They understand life a bit more than you do.
Well, they actually do. Look into their eyes, and you can see the purest and the most tranquil form of you, looking back at you, with a sense of chivalry and confidence.

2) Your secrets are never revealed.
Confine your dark of the darkest secret, and forget the key. They’re never judgmental, They always see you from a better perspective and believe that people are really good at heart.
You can cry your heart out in front of them.

3) They are all ears.
Talk about relationships, talk about career issues, talk about your crushes, talk about families, talk about siblings, talk about friends, talk about foes, talk about skies, talk about moon, talk about stars, talk about anything and everything. They’ll listen to every bit of your words.

4) World is a beautiful place.
When you get suicidal thoughts, give them a call. They’ll invalidate all your opinions of quitting, and will make you fall in love with the world. They’ll tell you why you need to live. World is a beautiful place, and you’re a beautiful person.

5) They talk a lot, but they seldom speak.
I, personally, find it the most fascinating quality about them. You’ll find them chitchatting with every second person, but you’ll never see them speaking. They teach you the difference between talking and speaking.

6) They’re romantic.
If you’re looking for a committed relationship, they can be the best choice.
They will notice each and every single detail about you without letting you know. They will keep surprising you with the knowledge they have attained about you, everyday. You just can’t resist your urge to fall in love with them.

7) They’re usually friendship deprived, but they, themselves, prove to be true friends.
Because they’re hard to understand, people often fail to know the real them. They don’t have many friends, but believe me, befriending them can be a wise decision.

8) They’re not aliens. They are as extraordinary as you.
They can be extroverts, introverts, and sometimes,ambiverts. They’re socially active people, full of life, love partying. They can act a little different when they ask you to go to some less discovered place, or spends time staring at million stars.

9) They’re not scared of loneliness
They know that there is a ray of hope in darkness. They try to find it, every night. They’re not afraid of darkness. They are often seen walking alone, traveling alone, eating alone. Loneliness is a perfect gift, at times.

10) Last but not the least
Deep inside, you too are the person I am talking about, aren’t you?
It’s just a matter of separating the facts from fiction. Befriend with yourself.

date a girl who drinks too much tea

date a girl who makes it harder to go to sleep but easier to get up every morning

date a girl who will write you poems in french

date a girl who will stay up until 4 in the morning with you watching videos about space and other universes until you’re both questioning your existence

date a girl who holds the moon in her eyes and has sun in her cheeks

date a girl who goes with you to walmart to buy avocados at 1am

date a girl who loves every single dog ever

“I yearn for genuine connections and honest energy. That’s what I need. That’s all I really need.”

“Your heart is not broken. Hearts don’t break. What you are feeling is growing pains. Your heart is expanding in wisdom, compassion, and strength, so one day, you can love even more.”

“Waiting, watching, suspense, mourning – will there never be anything else in life. I am so weary of it all – but I bow my head before the storm now, I don’t try to fight it any more. I no longer expect things to go well for me; I don’t know that I even ask that they shall. All I ask is that I may fulfil my own small weary part in this War in such a way as to be worthy of Them, who die and suffer pain.”

“Home is not where you were born; home is where all your attempts to escape cease.”

“My fear of being real, of being seen, paralyzes me into silence. I crave the touch and the connection, but I’m not always brave enough to open my hand and reach out. This is the great challenge: to be seen, accepted, and loved, I must first reveal, offer, and surrender.”

I’m so sick of reducing lovers to lessons.

How to let go. How to stay. How to ask for what the heart wants.

“I want to share my story, and I want to know yours. I believe with all my heart that sharing our stories, the real, ugly, broken ones, is one of the most powerful things in the world, because to share our story we must first accept it. We must own it. We must stop running from it or shoving it into the corner when company comes over. To share our story is to admit that we’ve been changed.”

“When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people.”

there are people you haven’t met yet who will love you

“Loving kindness is a form of love that truly is an ability, and, as research scientists have show, it can be learned. It is the ability to take some risks with our awareness-to look at ourselves and others with kindness instead of reflexive criticism; to include in our concern those to whom we normally pay no attention; to care for ourselves unconditionally instead of thinking, “I will love myself as long as I never make a mistake.” It is the ability to gather our attention and really listen to others, even those we’ve written off as not worth our time. It is the ability to see the humanity in people we don’t know and the pain in people we find difficult.”

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”

give people love because they deserved to be loved not because you want it in return

“One of my professors told me that forgiveness and trust are different. Forgiveness, she said, takes one person, but trust takes two. It requires one to be trustworthy for the other to trust. We talked about infidelity, and she told me that it takes an average of two full years for a relationship to recover to a place of trust. She told me that forgiveness doesn’t lead to trust. Only trustworthiness leads to trust–and not one act or one day of trustworthiness, but many many acts and days of that loyalty. It takes lots of little t’s to yield the big T….lots of little trustworthy demonstrations for Trust to be reborn. Forgive as you have been forgiven, but only trust the trustworthy–that’s how you live in healthy relationships.”

“Painful feelings are, by their very nature, temporary. They will weaken over time as long as we don’t prolong or amplify them through resistance or avoidance. The only way to eventually free ourselves from debilitating pain, therefore, is to be with it as it is. The only way out is through.”

“I’m about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word busy is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word “busy” is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact in every silo you uncover, all you’re going to find is a man who didn’t care enough to call. Remember men are never to busy to get what they want.”

“I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.”

“Forgiveness means letting go of the hope for a better past.”

It is never too late to turn on the light. Your ability to break an unhealthy habit or turn off an old tape doesn’t depend on how long it has been running; a shift in perspective doesn’t depend on how long you’ve held on to the old view.

When you flip the switch in that attic, it doesn’t matter whether its been dark for ten minutes, ten years or ten decades.

The light still illuminates the room and banishes the murkiness, letting you see the things you couldn’t see before.

Its never too late to take a moment to look.

“We can either own our circumstances and be creative in them, or we can throw up our hands and say, I cannot be held accountable because the conditions are not ideal.”

“True independence is not based on fear. It contains within it an ability to be close to others, coupled with a choice to be free and autonomous.”

“Becoming aware of fragility, of temporality, of the fact that we will surely all be lost to one another, sooner or later, mandates a clear imperative to be totally kind and loving to each other always.”

“The only reason we don’t open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don’t feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else’s eyes.”

“Compassion is, by definition, relational. Compassion literally means “to suffer with,” which implies a basic mutuality in the experience of suffering. The emotion of compassion springs from the recognition that the human experience is imperfect.”

“You can’t own a human being. You can’t lose what you don’t own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don’t, do you? And neither does he. You’re turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can’t value you more than you value yourself.”

“But the passion we share now differs from the thrill we had then, like a noisy but shallow brook differs from a quieter but much deeper river.”

“Connect with people who remind you of what you truly are.”

“Joy comes to us in moments - ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.”

“Don’t judge new experiences based off old situations.”

Less “I love you the way you are so please don’t ever change” and more “I love you the way you are, and I will love and support you in any changes you need to make to be happy”.

“Nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that it’s a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands.”

“…I can’t think of anything but nights with you. I want them warm and silvery.”

“Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: “Who has earned the right to hear my story?” If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a friend, or small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.”

“You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, put a mirror in her hand and you called the painting “Vanity,” thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for you own pleasure.”

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”

“There are no guarantees with finally being honest and coming clean with people. Sometimes you don’t win love back. Sometimes you lose the love you had. Sometimes you crush people that cared. Sometimes you break apart families. Sometimes you lose your career. Sometimes you lose your way of life. Sometimes you end up worse off than you were before. However, you walk away with a heart free from lies, regret and you have closure. Within time, you find yourself in a life that is far from the prison you once lived in. This type of freedom is the scariest road you will ever travel. However, it is the road God will never let you travel alone.”

“You couldn’t relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. You had to accept it as a whole–like the world, or the person you loved.”

“I have a hard time believing this is real sometimes, because if I could fabricate all of it, and make it exactly as I’d like, it’d all be the same.”

“If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for.”

opener-how-to-get-perfect-eyebrows-using-ombre

“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.”

“If we’re going to talk, then let’s talk. Forget about what is polite or proper and delve right into what is sincere and honest. Lead me down through the labyrinth of your true, spectacular self. I am not interested in pleasantries. If you want a conversation, then let’s get lost.”

“I don’t have a lot of respect for talent. Talent is genetic. It’s what you do with it that counts.”

“Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering. The love of God is of a different nature altogether. It does not hate tragedy. It never denies reality. It stands in the very teeth of suffering. The love of God did not protect His own Son. The cross was the proof of His love- that He gave that Son, that he let Him go to Calvary’s cross, though “legions of angels” might have rescued Him. He will not necessarily protect us- not from anything it takes to make us like His Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process.”

The thing I love about God is He intentionally guides people into failure. He made us be born as little kids who can’t walk or talk or even use a bathroom correctly. We have to be taught everything. All that learning takes time, and He made us so we are dependent on Hom, our parents, and each other. The whole thing is designed so we try again and again until we finally get it right. And the whole time He is endlessly patient.

I love those passages in Scripture where Jesus teaches the disciples something, saying, “I want to teach you to think differently about life.” They walked with Him for years, and some of them didn’t learn everything they needed to know until after He’d gone back to heaven. Yet, even though they were slow to learn, they still refer to themselves as His beloved. Failure is just part of the process not just okay; it’s better than okay. God doesn’t want failure to shut us down. God doesn’t make it a three-strikes-you’re-out sort of thing. It’s more about how God helps us dust ourselves off so that we can swing for the fences again. And all of this without keeping a meticulous record of our screw-ups.

“I speak my own sins; I cannot judge another. I have no tongue for it.”

“Do you love me enough that I may be weak with you? Everyone loves strength, but do you love me for my weakness? That is the real test.”

“I am blooming from the wound where I once bled.”

http://theatlasmagazine.com/10-tips-for-finding-inspiration/

“If I never met you, I wouldn’t like you. If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t love you. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.”

“I have loved you so much that I believe I understand you a little.”

“Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it.”

“When we choose growth over perfection, we immediately increase our shame resilience. Improvement is a far more realistic goal than perfection. Merely letting go of unattainable goals makes us less susceptible to shame. When we believe “we must be this” we ignore who or what we actually are, our capacity and our limitations. We start from the image of perfection, and of course, from perfection there is nowhere to go but down.”

“Do you think anger is a sincere emotion or the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain?”

“If anyone else were to kiss me, all they would taste is your name.”

“If I’m not delighted for you or inspired by you, I will not let myself be compared to you. This is a mindset that values contentment and chooses to live in freedom.”

“a woman on a mission has no business being distracted by things like envy.”

“You have to pick the places you don’t walk away from.”

“It’s all right if you grow your wings on the way down.”

“We weren’t living the way we wanted because we weren’t making the choices it required. Like so many in our generation of thirty-something parents, we spoke of a slower, more intentional life, but we expected it to just happen.”

“Courage doesnt tell you to let go when you know what to grab next. Brave people let go when its time to let go.”

“Trusting takes a different kind of energy. It takes showing up, despite your moods or personal whims. It is not inventing opportunities out of nowhere, but being obedient to respond to them as they come across your path. It’s waking up, silencing insecurity, and taking steps forward even when you don’t know how it will turn out. It means adjusting expectations at times, when reality doesn’t look like the “dream” from your head. It is moving forward in anticipation, without knowing exactly what lies ahead.”

“Whether you are trying to finish a race or a book or that hard conversation you’ve been avoiding, the training leading up to that event is what makes it possible to face the fear & walk forward anyway. Quit complaining about discipline & start seeing it as a powerful tool for courageous living.”

“And the good news, the really good news about all of this is not just that failure is not the end of us. It is that failure is the beginning of us. It is our starting place. It humbles us in the best kind of way, helps us to see our tiny little place in the giant, cosmic, story being written, and in turn connects us to our Creator. It is from this place of connection that the best version of ourselves, the most alive and true and gracious version of ourselves shows up, and we’re able to start living in freedom and grace the story we’ve been wanting to live all along.”

“Intimacy puts us in touch with fragility, and the acceptance of fragility opens us to intimacy.”

“Don’t assume, ask. Be kind. Tell the truth. Don’t say anything you can’t stand behind fully. Have integrity. Tell people how you feel.”

“Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.”

“The flower doesn’t dream of the bee. It blossoms and the bee comes.”

“And sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in.”

“Courage doesn’t happen when you have all the answers. It happens when you are ready to face the questions you have been avoiding your whole life.”

YOU KNOW WHAT’S HOT………? CONSISTENT COMMUNICATION

“We can let ourselves be carried by the river of feeling because we know how to swim.”

“If I appeal to you for emotional connection and you respond intellectually to a problem, rather than directly to me, on an attachment level I will experience that as “no response.” This is one of the reasons that the research on social support uniformly states that people want “indirect” support, that is, emotional confirmation and caring from their partners, rather than advice.”

I felt you.
You were a pea, then a lemon, then an eggplant.
I followed advice. I read so many books. I started a journal for you.
Could you tell I was scared?
I was.

I talked to you and I sang to you.
I wasn’t ready, but then you were here.
All ten toes and healthy.
Big eyes. Dark hair. Long feet. Beautiful.
And that day I realized what it feels like to be in love.
I hadn’t known until I held you.
And so I held you.

I shared you with my mom and sister.
I realized that I would spend my life doing things to make you happy
because that is what would make me happy.
There were times I wanted to give up.
But you’ve restored my sanity.
You’ve made me want to run to my own mother
to tell her I get it…
And then you smile and say, “Mahm…” in the way that you do.

I will open my heart and love will rain down all over you.
You will laugh and I will do it all over again.
I made you
but darling,
you made me.

“Hands are unbearably beautiful.
They hold on to things. They let things go.”

“As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.”

“The best part of hiding is being found.”

i hate knowin that people that ruined parts of me still live and function like nothing ever happened

“The people I find irresistible are those in whom the child was not killed. The qualities of openness, trust, inquisitiveness, tenderness, eagerness, enthusiasm, others undefinable, come from the child in us and are the source of charm. The laughter and the smile that do not calculate, the spontaneity that is not arrested. I cannot remember “adult” charm or whether it even exists.”

“I’ve been in love with someone that didn’t love me back, and I’ve been loved by someone that I didn’t love back. And I don’t know which is worse: to be broken or to break another soul.”

And my body is a
catalogue of memories

even I do not want to keep.

“You like him because he’s a lost boy. Believe me, I’ve seen it happen before. But do you know what happens to girls who love lost boys? They become lost themselves. Without fail.”

“Think of your head as an unsafe neighborhood; don’t go there alone.”

“You lose respect when you demand respect.”

“You know something, though, that I find very interesting – and again, psychologists didn’t know this until relatively recently – is that men are born every bit as relational as women are. If you look at films of newborn baby boys and girls, you’ll see the baby boys just like the girls, gazing into their mother’s eyes, you know, needing that relational exchange of energy. When the mother looks away, they could see the dismay on the child, even the boy would cry. They need relationship. So the question is why, as they grow older, does that change? And the answer is patriarchal culture, which says to boys and young men that to be needing of relationship, to be emotional with someone is girly. That a real man doesn’t ask directions or express a need, they don’t go to doctors if they feel bad. They don’t ask for help. There’s a quote that I really like, “Men fear that becoming ‘we’ will erase his 'I’.” You know, his sense of self. Whereas women’s sense of self has always been kind of porous. But our “we” is our saving grace, it’s what makes us strong. It’s not that we’re better than men, we just don’t have our masculinity to prove.”

“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.”

Treating myself right because I was my first Valentine and I love myself.

David Levithan, Every Day

http://www.byrdie.co.uk/can-perfume-make-you-more-attractive?ps=section&section=makeup

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