People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
"

Mother Teresa “Anyway”

"the day you have everything
i hope you remember
when you had nothing"

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.

i want to know your birthday and your parents jobs and if you ever heard them fighting or having sex and if you love your siblings and the worst fight you’ve ever gotten into and if you like one sibling more than the other and what you wanted to be when you grew up when you were seven and your dream vacation and the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you and if you’ve been to therapy and if it helped and the hardest thing you’ve experienced and how you overcame it and if you like what you see when you look in the mirror and if you think appearances matter in a relationship or at all and your favorite movie and which books changed your life and the hardest you’ve ever cried and which grandparent you loved the most and if the words “we need to talk” make you sick to your stomach and why and which holiday is your favorite and which season and which color and if you like rain and if you’re scared of dying and if you believe in God and if you have allergies and to what and what your favorite food is and restaurant and if you like to cook and whether or not you care about cleanliness and what your political views are and if you’re a feminist and your favorite flower and song and if you’d rather own a cat or a dog and if you’d shave off all your hair to give it to a little girl going through chemotherapy and where you’d like to live and honeymoon and what kind of gum and candy you like and what you act like when you’re mad and if you’d rather someone buy you silver or gold jewelry or neither and what clique you were in in high school and what you think your spirit animal is and which flower you’d be and who you admire and which traits you wish were more dominant and if you ever worry you’re a shitty person and what hurt you the most and why you ever thought you were worthless and how someone can make you feel better when you’re sad and if you prefer hugs or kisses and what your house looks like and what your dream car is and which celebrity you think lives the most tragic life and why you think people become so cold and what you think about nature vs nurture and if you believe in heaven and aliens and mermaids and reincarnation and the bible and which feeling is your least favorite and what was the best day you ever had and what would be the best day and if you see yourself as the protector or one who needs protecting and how you deal with your pain and what you would do if you had 100 million dollars and if you think wealth affects people’s morals and what good you think writing is and if you could do it all over, would you and what would you change and what mistake was your biggest and which language you wish you spoke fluently and how many people you’ve loved and if you loved the person you lost your virginity to and if you realize you’re remarkable and what your enneagram is and how you think we could improve the education system and what you think of people who commit suicide and if you think they’re selfish and what you say to them before they did it if you could and what your favorite memory of your childhood is and how you take your tea or if you prefer coffee and when you last wrote someone a handwritten letter and what the best gift you ever received was and what the best piece of advice was and when the last time you cried was and if you’re competitive about board games and which is your favorite and if you feel pressured to settle down and what you notice first in a person and what your top three pet peeves are and if you have any phobias and what you’ve always wanted to do but don’t have the courage to go through with and what you do when you feel overwhelmingly sad and if you ski and if plastic surgery was 100% safe and painless, would you get it and where and why and where you think home is and if you think politeness is important and what you think of indecisive people and if you think there’s ever a reason to go to war and something that scares you and if you believe in therapy and what you want in life and what you look for in a partner and what you want to change about yourself and about the world and who you want to be and who you are. just tell me who you are.

"missing me
will remove you so far from yourself
the longing will make a ghost out of you"

how many times
did you search for me in your fantasies
and end up crying
instead of coming"

"every time you
tell your daughter
you yell at her
out of love
you teach her to confuse
anger with kindness
which seems like a good idea
till she grows up to
trust men who hurt her
cause they look so much
like you."

"what’s important
is recognizing the difference
between want and need
cause i may still love you
but having you
is not necessarily good for me"

you might not have been my first love
but you were the love that made
all the other loves
irrelevant"

When I saw you again for the first time in a year instantly remembered you. I realized the feelings where still there. The simplest of things that we did made my heart beat faster then a hummingbirds wings. You made me feel wanted but they day after just like that you left me like nothing. We talked again after a few days and you told me about the girl you liked. When I heard these words come out of your mouth I felt pain and realized you never felt the same."

"don’t mistake salt for sugar
if he wants to be with you he will
it’s that simple"

"What if feelings left when people did? 

 i
am paying
for sins i don’t
remember"

"find a man who loves the world around him, not just you."

"I sometimes wish your name pops up in conversation so I can turn away in disgust. It makes me feel alive."

you were like heroin, you were the best drug, you gave me the greatest high but oh, you also destroyed me and soon, killed me."

and then I realized, he needed space, he needed air but I needed him more than anything, he was my air."

 it took loss after loss.  it took almost losing this life to fulfilling my wildest dreams to be here.  speaking to you.  to tell you it is written.  the first book is complete.  it has poems both old and new.  i have only been compiling it for 9 months but understand: it took 21 years to write.  and i have written it.  i promised myself last year that before the age of 22 i would have my heart written out.  my life’s blood on paper.  and as the sun sets and the moon rises, and i inch closer to completing another lap around the sun i am so happy to say, that with all your love, all your kindness and support, it has been written.  and i am giving you all of it.  everything i have learnt, felt, endured, in these short, beautiful 21 years.  it will all be yours before the new year approaches.  

may we always be on a journey of love and kindness.  may we recognize each other as one.  may we be nothing short of in love with everything this universe has to offer.  and may we always stay grounded.  our feet planted firmly onto the earth.  thank you for holding my heart in your hands, i will be giving you this book in return.    

i wonder if a person can
want what they already have
i turn and ask if you still want me
you say yes so quickly it sounds
as though you’ve been
memorizing the answer
all your life but it
still isn’t convincing"

"I wish I could stop remembering you."

"Closure is a myth. Do not wait for it, live your life."

"I only lust for the unavailable, the taken, the father of her children. 

some people
are so bitter.
to them you
must be kindest"

the worst thing you can do to a loyal person is to tell them you don’t trust them."

there was nothing more i wanted than for you to understand me, so i desperately showed you how much i can love, what i was capable of giving, but you turned your back, and i was left with nothing, not even love for myself"

you wanted
to save him
but did he
look like he
was drowning"

"i thank the universe
for taking away
everything it has taken
and for giving to me
everything it
is giving"

The hardest part about walking away from someone is the part where you realize that, no matter how slowly you go, they will never run after you."

"he might have touched your body, but he could never touch your soul with hands so dirty, that soul is so holy it’ll always be yours."

good food, good music and good friends - I dont need anything more <3

"you do terrible things
for someone so beautiful"

"I think about you; not continuously but more than I think about anyone else.

Motivation comes from within; the world was not invented to amuse and satisfy you; or make your way a bed of roses. Motivation comes from guts, imagination and will, within. You have none. You are a poor and stupid little fellow in my eyes. For God’s sake when are you going to start to be, instead of waiting for something, someone, outside to arrange all to your taste and to your order? I have no respect for you, and at present little affection. You have absolutely no style, your mind is as interesting as blotting paper, you are unable to make anything of the days, the life, the places. You are a perfectly average nonentity. If you’re interested in me, you’ll have to earn your way back. Become interesting. Do something with your time; learn something. You have just about everything to learn since you know damn all. Stop protesting love, at your convenience, and prove it by concern for others. I am tired of you, deeply tired. I look after and love a certain number of people, but love is like tennis you know, on a major scale: it is played by two people, not by one saint and one pig. It is a relation between two equals. And I’ve never been able to go on loving people I don’t respect – perhaps a handicap, perhaps a sign of a good, healthy instinct of self preservation. You’re a selfish, lazy, pointless young man, and you are responsible for yourself. I take no further blame."

"I fell in love with someone who I would have died for. And that’s like a real drug, isn’t it?"

"Now that we both want to know what we want,
now that we both want to know what we know,
it still behooves us to know what we do:
be circumspect, be generous, be brave,
be honest, be together, and behave."

"…summer stars burn stories on the sky."

"Thinking about you kept
me occupied a while."

He matters more to me than I do to him: the only antidote is to find another lover. Easy to say, nigh impossible to do. One doesn’t ‘find’: people happen. And obviously they happen less and less frequently."

IT WASN’T YOU LOVE.
HIS HANDS WERE SIMPLY
TOO SMALL
TO CARRY ALL 
THE LOVE YOU HAD.

YOU SET MY HEART ON FIRE 
THEN STAND TO WATCH IT BURN.

HE COMES JUST TO GO
MAYBE I STAY
JUST TO WATCH HIM LEAVE

“I’d sell my feelings on eBay.”

“When you weren’t looking, I disappeared.”

“She’s lost the moon counting stars”

“Humans: Selflessly selfish or Selfishly selfless?”