She’s completely unexplainable. You think she’s the good girl, but once you get to know her, you realize she’s everything. She’s crazy, she’s funny, she’s honest, and you never know what she’ll do next. I’ve waited a hundred years But I’d wait a million more for you // One day I’m going to be everything you ever wished for. And you won’t be able to have me You get what you deserve

For the longest time I was just trying to find someone to love as much as I loved you, but now I realize that’s never going to happen.

The hardest thing is not talking to someone you used to talk to everyday."

"I wanted to hold your hand and you wanted to hold hers."

I never thought you’d be temporary."

- I thought wrong 

do you ever just smell an old perfume, or hear an old song, or pass an old hangout spot and kinda break inside for a couple minutes"

"No matter what, 
I’m thankful that my heart had the ability to love someone that much.
I’m so thankful that I was able to be with him and know that what I was feeling was real, you know?
Of course it hurt when it ended,
But I’m so lucky to have loved someone like that. 
Some people never get a chance to feel love that deeply. 
I loved someone with every single cell in my body. I really, truly did.
And whether or not he loved me as much as I loved him is irrelevant.
If I loved the wrong person with complete and utter honesty,
Imagine the kind of love I’ll experience with the right one."

Silence told me everything you didn’t"

I fall asleep alone but never lonely. I deserve better.

I’m still trying to figure out if you ever even cared about me"

"If you only knew how much those little moments with you mattered to me."



"it easily could’ve killed me but it was the only thing left that reminded me that i was still alive."

"371 days later and I still love you just as much as I did last October"











"The biggest lie I have ever told myself was saying that I’m completely over you. Oh how I wish this was true. You’re like a bad drug I should never have gotten hooked on in the first place. I crave every inch of you; from head to toe and I don’t know how to stop. Oh how I wish that I could make you miss me."

I want someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 2 in the morning and will tell me their favorite songs and their family problems and how they think the earth was made
"I think I wanted it too much and you didn’t want it enough."

"I remember the first time you held my hand. I don’t know if it was because of the cold or the fact I loved you but fuck, I felt the world rush through my veins."

"YOU’RE STILL BREAKING MY HEART AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW"

You have to let it all go. The way he kissed you, the way he smelled, the way he touched your waist and pulled you in. You have to let it go and you have to let him go. Because that’s who he was, not who he is."

,

SAYING “YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO BE DEPRESSED ABOUT, YOUR LIFE IS GREAT” IS LIKE SAYING “WHAT DO YOU MEAN HAVE ASTHMA, THERE IS LOADS OF AIR IN HERE.”

"The truth was, he now belonged only to my past, and it was time I begin to accept it, as much as it hurt to do so."

- Tammara Webber

Many people have come and left, and it has been always good because they emptied some space for better people. It is a strange experience, that those who have left me have always left places for a better quality of people."

"it doesn’t feel
like a broken heart
it feels like
a broken pair of lungs
that can’t let the air in or out,
a mouth 
with lips red like blood,
eyes
that can’t seem to dry."

"Sleep is for the weak," i say. my hands are shaking. i can hear colors.  

It was everything..

Until it wasn’t.

 

I’m not sure if I’m lonely or horny, maybe both.

I want you to hold me then fuck me to sleep.

I want you to choke me then tell me all the things your pride wouldn’t let slip from your lips,

Your lips, I want them all over my body.

French kiss me in between my thighs because that is the language of love.

And I’ll choke on you then spit out all the words I’ve choked on previously.

 

I want you raw, sexually & emotionally

 Your green eyes turned black

But because he’s just a boy & you’re just a girl. You aren’t his fallen angel & he isn’t the God of your world.

You couldn’t have saved each other if your lives depended on it but you loved him like you could.

You kissed him like he deserved every bit of you but he didn’t.

You fucked him like he was a King but afterwards, he kissed you & called you his princess & that was fine then but it’s been 6 months & you’ve realized that you’re a fucking Queen.

He is just a boy & that was fine when you were just a girl, but he dropped your hand & it took 182 heartbreaking days but you’re standing again,

You’ve grown into such a beautiful woman & boys don’t know how to love women so it’s time to stop missing him.

 

I’m finally content with our ending, here’s to new beginnings.

 Your absence fucks me up harder than your presence ever could. 

 You’re going to be the last person I think of on New Years Eve, I promise. 
I will laugh and I will raise my glass. 
(this is to loving myself better next year). 

 

 the thing is: if you’re cold, you hurt people. if you’re sensitive, they hurt you. 

i speak four languages and they’re called horny sad hungry and annoying

who is kissing me on new year’s

my alcohol or my tears

just come over and we’ll watch netflix or make a sex tape idk we’ll see what happens 

 I fucking lost it as soon as I lost you. 

 You’ve got to realize, you’re the Devil just as much as you’re God. 

 Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing. 

 Can I ask you something? Can you please, just for once, answer honestly. Why wasn’t I good enough? Why wasn’t I enough for you? I tried, I really did. I wanted it to be me so badly. I thought I could make you happy. I wanted too. I wanted to make you smile and laugh. I wanted to raise children with you, marry you, I wanted to grow old together. There were so many things I wanted. I still have no idea what went wrong, or why. I don’t know why you left, or why I’m still begging for you to come back. I don’t know why I still love. All that I know is that you were my future. Now there isn’t one. 

 Sometimes when it’s 3am
I find myself missing you
And I have to remember
that you don’t miss me
any more. 

I’ll always miss you

 I’ve spent two years
moaning your name
into the mouths of
men who never
remember my name. 

Can I fuck you away? Does that work? -

 You filled with me thorns, and called them roses. 

 I’m not going to be the girl you marry. I’ll never meet your mother, nor will I laugh with your father. You won’t share with me your dreams, or your aspirations. I won’t even learn your sisters name. But I’ll be the girl you dream of, in twenty years when you lay next to your wife. I’ll cross you mind at 2am when the night is coldest, and you’ll wonder if I still smell like vanilla.
By then you would have forgotten my name, but you won’t have forgotten how much I loved you, how I will always love you. 

 I hope when you hold her, you think of me. I hope my face crashes down on your little facade. And boy, I hope it hurts. I hope you remember our phone calls at 3am. And how I asked you ‘if what we were was love.’ And how you replied ‘It always will be.’ I hope you remember every single time you fucking kissed me. Every time you touched me knowing you shouldn’t. I hope you remember every lie you told her. I hope it burns, truly, I do. 

 

1. I spent months loving a boy whose eyes never found mind. He is like acid rain. When he kissed me his mouth always tasted like smoke. It was awful, but I loved it. I thought I was going to marry him. What a fool I was.

2. I fucked a boy at a party once. He tasted like vodka. When he kissed me I felt repulsed inside. I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening, when it was.I thought I could find you within his eyes. I didn’t. I walked home crying that night.

3. He kept my glass full of wine, and he watched all of my favourite shows with me. We went to bed at 9pm, and he would always kiss my nose before I slept. He was quiet, but positively dull. I found myself fucking his friend in the back seat of his car. He didn’t bat an eye, he just asked what I wanted for dinner that evening.

4. The next boy I met used to feed me poetry. His words were a lace noose around my neck. He would pull ever so often, to keep me in line. I learned submission with him. He was the first person I thought I actually loved. When really he was the very last.

 

Four men my sister loved- Poemsforthebad 

You might not care at the moment, but one midnight twenty years from now. You’ll see my face in the reflection of the window pane. The look in my eyes will haunt you. And while your wife lays there sleeping in your bed, you’ll remember me tangled up with you all night in the sheets 

You’ll remember, because I will never forget-

 Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours shine brighter 

 After midnight, there are those who ended their talk with “I love you”, closed their phones and went to sleep. And there are those who wrote “I miss you” in a message, but their ego made them erase it and went to sleep.

 When you have a broken heart, the first thing a person will ask is ‘how long were you together?’. As if your pain can be determined by how long you were with someone. Or if you were with them at all. 

 The difference between
What we were
And we could have been
Still very much lingers
On my mind. 

I can still taste you

 I miss everything. I miss talking to her, hearing about her day. I miss her voice all gravelly and smoky, I miss hearing her laugh, I miss getting her letters, writing her letters. I miss her eyes, and the smell of her hair, and the way her breath tasted. I fucking miss everything. I miss knowing she was around, because it helped me to know that she was around, someone like her existed. I guess most of all, I miss knowing I would see her again. I always thought I’d see her again. 

 I could kiss a hundred strangers tonight and still wonder what your lips taste like. 

 I don’t remember the sound of your voice or the smell of your cologne, I don’t remember the way you laugh or the way you smile, I don’t remember any of the things you said to me, & to be honest, I don’t remember how I felt whenever I fell for you, but after everything, I do remember how I felt whenever you left. 

Even if you don’t want to tell me you love me, could you at least leave your fingerprints on my waist before you go?

I learned that every seven years our bodies change every single cell. It’s strange to think that in seven years, your palm prints will be erased from my hands & the lines from the creases in your lips will be erased from my cheeks. It’s strange to think that in seven years I will have a body that you have not touched. & in seven years, it will be safe to say that you are truly gone.

I don’t want to know what her name is. I don’t want to know what she looks like. & I don’t want to know if she makes you happy.

& I hope that maybe on a winter night next year, you’ll be the one to keep me warm when three layers of covers can’t.

I’m not sad because you left, I’m sad because you said you wouldn’t.

There are flowers that have thorns, even the prettiest ones. 

 I want you. I want all of you. I want you when you’ve got your hair up and you’re in sweatpants and a t-shirt. I want you when you’re aggravated at everyone and everything. I want you when you’re talking about something you love, and your eyes light up with passion. I want you when you can’t stop laughing at something stupid, and your nose crinkles the way it does when you laugh. I want you when you’re angry with me and you make me feel like shit because I know you’re right to be angry with me. I want you when you just got out of the shower, and your hair is wet and messy. I want you when you are focusing on your homework, when you block everything out, and you don’t even realize how beautiful you look. I want you when you’re so hungry that you’re grumpy. I want you when you’re happy and your smile lights up the room. I want you when you’re around your family, seeing how happy they make you. I want you when you’re needy, and you need to hold onto me. I want you when you’re crying, and I can see all the pain in your eyes. I want you when you’ve spent all morning to look good, and damn you do, but you don’t have to spend all morning to look beautiful. I want you when you’re drunk, and you can’t control yourself. I want you when you’re sick, so I could take care of you all day. I want you when you hate yourself, so I can tell you how perfect you are and kiss every one of your insecurities. I want you when you are singing along to your favorite song. I want you when you’re embarrassed, and you try to hide your face. I want you when you’re confident. I want you when you’re sad. I want you when you’re moody. I want you when you’re afraid. I want you when you’re lonely. I want you when you’re being selfish. I want you when you’re hopeless. I want you when you’re excited. I want you all day, every day. 

 If it’ll keep my heart soft, break my heart every day. 

 This is an apology letter to the both of us for how long it took me to let things go. 

 

I think the worst part about all of this is that I still remember the good times. I still remember the long conversations and stupid snapchats. I still remember how you used to kiss my shoulder when you thought I was still sleeping. I still remember when you cared. 

When did you stop caring?

 

Midnight thoughts (it seems like yesterday)When? When did I lose you?

 You don’t understand why I don’t discuss my first love with you

But how am I supposed to tell the sun that I once fell for the moon? 

Your flaws, your imperfections, this messed up, twisted roller coaster ride - I want it all. It almost feels like everything will be alright when you’re around and I haven’t felt like this for a long time.

"I’m tired of forgiving people that aren’t sorry for hurting me."

I remember when we first met. I remember when you asked me for my number. I remember when it all started, and I felt on top of the world. But things changed. It shouldn’t hurt anymore -

my first thought in 2015 is not going to be about you not anymore

You will go on and meet someone else and I’ll just be a chapter in your tale, but for me, you were, you are and you always will be, the whole story.

• I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.
• 

  08:25

  
  

  if you have someone in your life who genuinely cares about how your day went, and listens fully to the fucked up shit that goes on in your mind, and answers your texts or calls you back, and lets you know you’re important to them and/or generally makes you feel cared for, you’re really fucking lucky and i hope you tell this person you appreciate them and i hope if they treat you right and make you feel safe and loved, you hold onto them really tight.

 Maybe I shouldn’t have taken that picture,

Maybe I shouldn’t have written my name on your back with invisible ink from my fingertips,
Maybe I shouldn’t have sung you to sleep with whatever bullshit song was playing on your computer,
Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed you.
Maybe I should have known better.

I understood that you meant it when you said you wouldn’t let yourself love me,
But that’s never been a good enough reason to stop myself from falling in love.
I didn’t need you to love me back,
I just needed to love someone.

"

"The words are mine
But the feelings are for you.
They’re all I can offer
Except for empty promises
That were true at the time."

— I Said I’d Love You Forever but I Never Said How 

I’m a distant friend
And an even farther lover.
You can’t ask me to stay
And I can’t ask you to wait."

— That Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Love You 

"I can tell you think too much. I can hear it in the way your voice gets loud when you speak to me, like you want me to hear the mysteries between your lines and you’re trying make up for the fact that you’ll never tell me everything. I’m not asking for all your secrets, but I’m thankful for the ones you give me."

— This is Enough for Me 

"If there is a hero in my story, it isn’t me. And it definitely isn’t you either."

"I guess I can’t blame you
For forgetting to love me
In between all your lies."