everyone tell me abt ur day. how did your eyeliner go? did u flirt with somebody? drink enough water? make a white man nervous?

"   Today I saw cancer, cigarettes, and shortness of breath. This is why I walk to the ocean. Swim with sharks and jellyfish. I may never get this chance again. This is why if you want to kiss, you should kiss. If you want to cry, you should cry. And if you want to live, you should live. You don’t have to love me. You already did.   

"   You had skyscrapers and statues 
sitting in your mouth,
You think you broke me?
I only kissed you when I was homesick.
I only cried when you left because I missed the city,
not you.   " 

People always say that it hurts at night
and apparently screaming into your pillow at 3am
is the romantic equivalent of being heartbroken.
But sometimes
it’s 9am on a tuesday morning
and you’re standing at the kitchen bench waiting for the toast to pop up

And the smell of dusty sunlight and earl gray tea makes you miss him so much
you don’t know what to do with your hands.

"   the first time we kissed, it was the last day
of august. it was as if i was biting into the sun
—burnt tongue and hot plasma oozing from
my lips. you apologize. “i’m sorry. i’m sorry.”
(over and over and over) until i kiss you again
and again and again. you told me that you
were trying to kiss the stars—crush the shine and
lick the twinkle off of my fingers.
(over and over again)  

"   you’re acidic,
you’ve made weeds grow inside of me,
you’ve made me rot black,
on nights like this, i read your
messages and i cry myself
to sleep   " 

never be afraid to say “no” even after you’ve said “yes”
if someone tells you graffiti isn’t art, prove them wrong
remember people by their eye color not their clothes
you’re allowed to like dark chocolate with tangerines
don’t lie that you don’t have a lighter when you really do
turn your phone off every once in a while and find the moon
if you want a tattoo, don’t let anyone tell you not to get it
if you ever find yourself at the graveyard, read the names   " 

ou’ll just know
she’ll wear
brown mascara and yellow nail polish,
her lips
will be chapped
and
splotches of burgundy
will linger on her cheeks like decorations,
her diet will consist of pretzels and diet soda,
she won’t know the difference between
home and heart but she damn
well will know the difference between
the color blue and coral,
and when you ask, is it raining?
she’ll say,
no
that’s the sky
crying for
you   " 

don’t
lie
i know you thought of something

someone?

i know you remember
how the air touched you when
i whispered

i don’t love you

"   It hurts, listening to your name.   " 

   I decided on you, don’t you get that? I decided on you. I don’t want to go fucking other people and then walk around feeling thrilled and then sad, or empty, or whatever. I like the smell of your hair, and I like the sound of your voice, and I fucking decided on you.   " 

Maybe love is in New York City, already asleep. You are in California, Australia, wide awake. Maybe love is always in the wrong time zone. Maybe love is not ready for you. Maybe you are not ready for love. Maybe love just isn’t the marrying type. Maybe the next time you see love is twenty years after the divorce–love looks older now, but just as beautiful as you remember. Maybe love is only there for a month. Maybe love is there for every firework, every birthday party, every hospital visit.

Maybe love stays. Maybe love can’t. Maybe love shouldn’t.

Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to, and love leaves exactly when love must. When love arrives say, “Welcome, make yourself comfortable.” If love leaves, ask her to leave the door opened behind her. Turn off the music. Listen to the quiet. Whisper, “Thank you for stopping by.”

  " 

"   Alcohol tastes better when I’m tasting it from your lips   " 

"   Forgive. Forget. Fake it. Chin up. Wear lipstick, make lists, make sure your voicemail isn’t full. Mix protein shakes, send timely thank you notes, sip drinks more slowly, stare at adults’ eyebrows, smile without dimples, develop perfect posture. Be gracious, be kind, eliminate self-pity. Look in the mirror and shift your internal monologue from ‘How do I look?’ to ‘This is my face,’ from ‘What the hell am I doing?’ to ‘This is my life.’ Capitalize your emails, read the news, walk briskly, stay focused, and never, ever let on that you are somewhat lost and sometimes lonely and so completely confused (and would someone please just let me know what it is I’m supposed to do next, where exactly I’m supposed to go–). Just keep going. Go, and do not stop.   " 

"   In 20 years I won’t remember today; that scares me.   " 

"   Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex; But eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, Stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories and make peace with them.   " 

"   I said goodbye again 
sucking up all that was left of her into the 
little that was left of me. 
I said, don’t look for me again. fuck it. 
we are all lost. goodbye, goodbye.  

"   Girls who run with the wolves aren’t here for boys to love.   " 

 Dump the toxic people out of your life. Get them gone. Kick them to the curb. Stop maintaining relationships with people that make you feel guilty about things that you like, that make you feel shitty about yourself, that put you down, that don’t fucking support you, that are mean. You just get those people and shove them out of your life. Delete them off of Facebook, break it down easily. Just kind of fizzle out with the contact. Let it be like almost as if it might be growing apart. Just get rid of those people, because instead of just maintaining these “relationships” with people for the sake of just being polite or civil, you can be civil without having people that you can’t stand in your life and you’ll be so much happier. You need to stop maintaining relationships with toxic people because it’s just not good for you and it’s not worth any of your time.   " 

 I remember crying over you and I don’t mean a couple of tears and I’m blue. I’m talking about collapsing and screaming at the moon.   

When you ask why is it that I stay up at times like 3:27 am or 5:43 am
I would always give them the same painless response “I’m not tired.”

But how do you define
The devilish thoughts at 3 am that linger your mind forming the image of what you did against what you should have done
Because everything you trust in is from your right choices and your beaten down moments

Moments are just memories
And memories are just something to haunt us
Something to remind us for where our feet stand

But how do you define
The weakness that colds your lifeless body at 5 am
It’s not the cold where
you fell off your sled when you were just seven years old
experiencing the fleeting rush of happiness
It’s the cold that numbs you
The cold that makes your rose red blood stick to every open cut in your body that’s trying to repair each blow of brutal damage to your fragile body

How do I utter those thoughts

How do I tell you that you are the reason I can not close my eyes.

if you want to be beautiful
buy flowers and take
them to the cemetery 

if you want to be free
write a letter to the person
you hate most then realize
you do not hate them
at all

if you want to be wild
wake up at 6 AM, drink
hot coffee and watch the
sunrise

if you want to be happy
smile at every person 
you see even if they aren’t
looking  

   No matter how good things are, there will always be solitary nights you spend in your bedroom, in a car, or in a party full of your closest friends when it feels like the walls are caving in.   "