Wishing for everything
But no stars in the sky to grant this wish
I don’t think it is.
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
I never thought this day would come
No anger, frustration, but no love or friendship. Just absolutely emotionless and indifferent to each other.
Everyone said it would come.
They told me so.
They all said it.
One day, things wouldn’t matter. And everything that had happened would be nothing than just a memory. I knew there’d be a point when you’d have nothing to say to me, but, somehow, I never believed that I wouldn’t have anything to say to you, either. I thought, there’d always be something. Always.
It’s like this whole time everything I’ve done or said has just been the journey away from you, we drifted apart completely. And, as I kept looking back, it was the most painful thing ever. Some things are so incredibly beautiful even as you’re walking away from them, it’s hard to believe you’re actually leaving.
Not that I ever really had you in the first place but, I don’t need to cling on to this irrational dream.
You’re just you. So close and so far away all at the same time, but what killed me inside yesterday is just a passing moment now.
I’m not sure I know why I feel like this or can even tell precisely what it IS that I feel, not fully apathetic but not filled with a particular emotion either.
I would never have thought this day would come. If anyone had asked me about this a year ago, I would have looked at them like they were insane and probably walked away.
Things change and some things will never stay the same.
Is it ridiculous that I wasn’t able to stop smiling after I saw you today?
Of course it’s absurd. But it’s true.
I’ve met tons of people that are thoughtful.
But none were like her.
She was different.
When the whole world screams NO
Little by little, you climb a mountain.
And when you’ve finally reached the top, suddenly, you’re so caught up in the moment that you don’t realize when lightning hits, and you slip, holding on to the mountain for dear life.
As if things couldn’t get any worse, an avalanche brings you crashing down to reality and you’re like, Well - Fuck.
But still, you pick yourself up, and start climbing the mountain again. But you can never get there, no matter how much you try, you just keep getting put down.
Time and time again, you slip and almost fall, but never ever let go.
Then it hits you - maybe this mountain isn’t worth the climb. Maybe mountainclimbing just isn’t your thing. It’s not the mountain’s fault, even if all the avalanches weren’t very welcoming.
I finally remembered to remember to forget you.
No sarcasm intended.
I can’t promise I won’t look back.
I can’t promise I won’t wonder what could have been.
I can’t promise that I will stop loving you.
I can’t promise that you won’t mean anything to me after this.
But I can promise you this,
I will not hate you for living your dream.
It’s my dream. Why are you living it?
Some things are too beautiful to let go of even as you’re walking away from them.
I didn’t wake up one day and just love you. Just like, I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and stop loving you. Some part of me believes I’ll always love you in some ways, but I can’t do this anymore.
Good-bye my almost lover, good-bye my hopeless dream.
You’re the blade and I’m just paper.
I can’t hate you
Love you too much to let go, too much to hold on.
It’s driving me insane.
Life’s just one messed up dream, and no one gets out alive.