"Scars are just another kind of memory."

"Of course there’s something there; unfortunately, there’s always something ‘there.’ Something you will one day be sorry you saw.

"If you didn’t grow up like I did then you don’t know, and if you don’t know it’s probably better you don’t judge."

"Maybe everyone can live beyond what they’re capable of."

"There are times when it will go so wrong that you will barely be alive, and times when you realise that being barely alive, on your own terms, is better than living a bloated half-life on someone else’s terms."

"The tragedy of this world is that no one is happy, whether stuck in a time of pain or of joy. The tragedy of this world is that everyone is alone."

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that receives it.

Do more than exist, live.
Do more than touch, feel.
Do more than look, observe.
Do more than read, absorb.
Do more than hear, listen.
Do more than listen, understand.
Do more than think, ponder.
Do more than talk, say something

You’re still my person, even if I’m not yours.

So long as you don’t torture me with my past, let’s be honest. A secret silenced is a secret safe.

and I want to apologize in advance for the troubles I will cause you

Put your pen away
my life doesn’t require
your signature.

the scars from playing
too close to the sun.

Do not apologize
for nights when you cry

Who decided
that emotion
was supposed to be caged?

it hurts to find truth
but finding bliss in ignorance
is a minefield.

I do not want you to tell me
that everyone
is going through the same thing.

No, my fears are my own.

On paper
nowhere looks like home.

I don’t want to be the one
constantly looking for comfort

teach me how to be strong. 

do not be afraid to tear up the script
and write your own ending.  

I’ve never met
any actors before
he said.
Honey,
everyone is acting
if you look close enough.





I keep your last words to me
like a ring around my finger.
They’re turning my skin green.
You have colored me
with your disappearance.




Late at night
every pain feels fatal
and every word from you
is imagined.
In the morning
I’m still here
and you still are not.





Years later I realize
we are all children
and those who pretend otherwise
are not the people worth knowing.

and we tend to say things we don’t mean
when we see people leaving


Being left makes you doubt your ability to keep people, even friends.

Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.

IN A SENSE, I’M THE ONE WHO RUINED ME: I DID IT MYSELF."

Sometimes at night I suddenly become aware of all the things I’m missing out on right now, and all the people who I’m not close to anymore, and all of the good times that will never happen again, and all the people who meant the world to me who have forgotten about me forever, and I get this awful feeling that’s kind of like a mix between loneliness and nostalgia.


Because, if you could love someone, and keep loving them, without being loved back… then that love had to be real. It hurt too much to be anything else.



It bothers me that no one has the patience to deal with someone who is just sad.


Almost.
It’s a big word for me. I feel it everywhere. Almost home. Almost happy. Almost changed. Almost, but not quite. Not yet. Soon, maybe. I’m hoping hard for that.



Of course, wanting too much, wanting the wrong thing, wanting what you can’t have is one definition of the human condition; we all have to learn how to make some livable compromise between the always insatiable self and the always insufficient reality principle.


Tell me what’s the difference between hope and waiting
because my heart doesn’t know.
It constantly cuts itself on the glass of waiting.
It constantly gets lost in the fog of hope.




I do not know what makes an artist, but it probably isn’t happiness

Did I ever really love him or was I addicted to the pain, the equisite pain, of wanting someone so unattainable?

I wish I didn’t have to think about you.




"It’s 4:30 in the morning, it’s always 4:30 in the morning."

It takes much bravery to stand up to our enemies but we need as much bravery to stand up to our friends."

my mind says homework

but my heart says internet

Be mad at me, make me feel guilty, whatever. I don’t care anymore.

A bad hair day? More like a bad hair life.

The realization of probably never seeing M. again hit me and woke me up in the middle of the night. It hurt so bad.

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.

"The only thing I know is this: I am full of wounds and still standing on my feet."

"I guess my life hasn’t always been happy, or easy, or exactly what I want. At a certain point, I just have to try not to think too much about certain things, or else they’ll break my heart."

When you like someone, you like them in spite of their faults. When you love someone, you love them with their faults."

Thinking is the most unhealthy thing in the world, and people die of it just as they die of any other disease."

my hobbies include sleeping and feeling like i’ve never slept

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."

Back then you were so beautiful that I wanted to collect you
it was only after I noticed the bruises
from where I’d held you too long and hard
that I realised some lovely things

should not be touched.  

"When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are."

"Angry, and half in love with you, and tremendously sorry, I turned away."

"It’s scary how people leave scars on you; how certain people will never really vanish from the thoughts in your mind. I mean, I don’t think I will ever get over you. It’s not that I’m sad about us; but, sometimes in the middle of the day, out of nowhere, I hear your sentence quoted. I hear one of your phrases, loud in my mind, and I feel the way it goes all the way down to my heart again, destroying me like a tsunami. It overcomes you slowly. It’s like I get thrown back into the sea, and waves of my thoughts are crashing over me. I don’t know how I am supposed to get over a person, and you don’t have to. You can still cry after months about it. Even when you’re married and endlessly happy with that person, you should be able to cry about your first love. Not because you’re still in love with them, even if a little part still is, but because you will always love what you once loved. You learn to understand it. With every new moment and experience in your life, you start to understand, piece by piece, what was happening back then."

If I never met you, I wouldn’t like you. If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t love you. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t miss you. But I did, I do, and I will."

i’m really good at arguing until i start crying

"And I wonder if anyone is really happy."

Why do I even bother?

I feel like such an idiot for trying for someone who may not even care about me. It’s too confusing. I want to just stop having feelings sometimes.

i could never be an actor i would keep laughing at the worst times

parents: your room is a mess
me: you should see my life

never apologize for wanting attention.

Most people who commit suicide are dead long before they pull the trigger."

"The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets.
The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears.
And the kindest hearts have felt the most pain."

Somebody take the internet away from me. Otherwise I will never finish writing this essay. Ever.

I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR NEVER BEING THERE. YOUR ABSENCE HAS FORCED ME TO FIND MY OWN WAY."

we see the same moon,
the same stars sporadically 
displayed across the same black sky
but the magnificence of their light
will never match the way
your almond brown eyes
light up at two in the morning

IF I LOVE YOU, IS THAT A FACT OR A WEAPON?"

If you knew the things that were in my head most of the time, you’d know what I really meant – how much we’re alike, and how we’ve been through the same things. And you’re not small – you’re beautiful.

“It’s frightening to think that maybe the people that admire us most sincerely are those that have not understood us.”

pudelek