The Fault in Our Stars.
Pictures: paperbacktrees,
Dedicated to my wonderful friend, musicandlyricss, on her birthday.
Page 246 of Everything Is Illuminated.
Page 229 of Everything Is Illuminated.

Fireflies- Faith Hill-
credits:  Kristine May

We do know that no one gets wise enough to really understand the heart of another, though it is the task of our life to try.

An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.

Close your eyes, clear your heart, let it go

— Jose Rodrigues Migueis

Page 68 of Everything Is Illuminated.
Page 218 of Everything Is Illuminated.
Page 261 of Everything Is Illuminated.
And when I asked you how you’d been I meant I missed you more than I’ve ever missed anything before."
What would you like to tell yourself today, to make yourself feel ok

When I'm crazy, you tell me it's just the chemicals in my brains mixing and unmixing themselves at the wrong time.

When I'm in love, you tell me it's as real as sunshine and we're greater than just molecules and air.

So I choose to believe different things, depending on my love. Depending on my chemicals. At the time.

Even after the entire world has taken me apart, there's still a part of me left for you.

You're wrong.
The question is not
"How many times can your heart be broken?"
 The question is
"How many times can it heal?"

I understand that you care. I just sometimes feel that the people who know me best, are people I've never met.

I do not understand why you would go out of your way to hurt each other, when life can already hurt so much.

You still believe you're allowed to hurt the people who love you more than anyone else.

I don't care what people think. I fell in love with you. Not people.

No picture of a person ever feels alive until you draw in the eyes. So open your eyes. Let at least one of us feel alive.

You should know that there is something worse than hate and that is unlove.
Because hate is anger over something lost, hate is passion, hate is misguided, it's caring for the wrong things but it is still caring. 
But unlove, unlove is to unkiss, to unremember, to unhold, to undream, to undo everything that ever was and leave smooth stone behind in its wake.

You've got to keep looking for them, even after you find them. Otherwise, you lose them.

When you have nothing left to say to me, say it anyway.

One day, you realise that there are some people you'll never see again. At least, not in the same way.

If photographs of you are as close as I can get, then that's as close as I'll get.
If the edge of the land, is as close as I can get, then that's as close as I'll get.
If right up beside you is as close as I can get, then that's as close as I'll get.
I have and always will be, as close as I can get.

Just so you know, there are certain people who were put here to break you.
So you could learn how to pull yourself back together again.

And when I'm far from home and I feel like an alien, trust me, somehow I never left you.

You keep trying to tell the truth about who you are but you keep changing, every time someone listens.

If you open up too much, people can fall in and hurt themselves.

I have a list in my head of all the feelings I still want to feel before I die. And you have ticked so many things off that list.

Stop thinking about what they're thinking about you.

Each night, somewhere out there, people go to bed, petrified that I might be happy as I am.
And I wake up each day and make their worst fears come true.
PS. I hope you're happy

You kill death every day that you live.  
And I do my best to murder hate whenever I have the chance to love.

The human heart is made from the only substance in the universe that can become stronger, after it's been broken

You spend your whole life learning what you shouldn't care about. Until one day you find out you didn't care enough.

similarities didn't make us the same

Stop telling me to follow my heart. It once led me to you

To discover there's at least one other real person on planet Earth.
To discover that the aliens, can look just like you.

You can't miss forever. 

No matter how close forever feels right now. 

You can't hurt forever. 

Even if your heart whispers in your ear and tries to convince you otherwise. 

You can't bleed forever. 

Sooner or later, you will either die or live. 

Neither of us can do anything for forever. 

Because forever passed away, long ago. 

Today you became a yesterday, when once you were a tomorrow.

You can try being broken and you can try forgetting. All I know is I am no longer broken about the things I have forgotten.

Understand that, the prisons you've built are of your own design.

Understand that, you should be the person you wanted to be when you woke up this morning.

Understand that, the world desperately wants to love you, if you'll let it.

Understand that, you deserve that love, even if you don't feel like it.

Understand that, love can hit a planet like a comet.

Understand that, the rain can unrain, if you want it to.

I can't remember what it felt like to be in love with you. I just know that something's missing.

On other planets, they look up and wish upon you.
Because on other planets, you live on a star.

And all around, people fall like leaves in the snow. But those who cut you down, do not know, they are planting a forest.

I know there was something before you. I just can't remember what it was.

There's a folder of pictures I can't open.
There's so many songs that don't sound the same.
There's a number I can't dial and a message I can't send.
There's a restaurant I can't eat at, not with any friends.
There's words and names I can only say in my head.
There's a pair of eyes that belong to you, that I can never look into again.

If you think I can tell you what's going on inside my heart, you know even less about it than you think.

The world you love spins so fast, all I can do is throw words at it. And hope they become picture

I put my hand up against the glass and even though I can't see it, I know you're on the other side.

Nothing is faster than the speed of thought. I can look at anything and think of you.

I am not afraid of you. There's nothing you can do to me that hasn't already been done before

All the people you see in the street, who would rather wear sunglasses than know where they're going, they get put back in the gallery at night, they get covered up for the next day. So they can think that a road is a grey river that'll take them anywhere, as long as they can float. So they can carry on. There are so few real people in this world. Thank you for being one of them.

I know you don't want it to matter right now. That's why it matters the most

You spend 99% of your life looking for the other 1%. But it's worth it

You are more than a list of mistakes and if anyone tells you otherwise, let it be the last they make.

I set the harbour on fire. Soon, there'll be nowhere left for you to say goodbye.

I just want you to know that I know you from after, after all this is over. And there are some parts of you cannot be touched, no matter how they touch you.

You're just a sculpture that still moves in the museum of my mind. So keep walking. Art shouldn't stop for anyone.

If you worry about how you look when you smile, you are doing it wrong.

And if you knew just how I felt, you could kill me, with just one look.

I'm not scared of never meeting you. I'm scared of having met you, and let you go

I know you have feelings left somewhere. But they're all so hard to reach.

Just pretend you're in a movie. Be as brave and as full of love as the main character. Because we all need to believe in movies, sometimes.

You are no longer here. So please leave.

The biggest scars are unseen and unremembered, always from a smile you forgot long ago. We would never get anything done otherwise.

The people who police the paradise you live in, make it hell

You will only be hurt a finite number of times during your life. You have an infinite number of ways to deal with it.

And every single thing you ever did that bothered me, is every single thing I miss.

And in you and in all of us, there is nothing more than the capacity to be a force for, or a force against. And to wonder, how many people wake up each morning and can't decide if they want to save the world, or destroy it.

Not a second of my time with you was wasted. Now I know what not to do.

Truth is the last thing I can take because it's the last thing you took.

Life is just the novel you write on your coffee break. And your novel is just a collection of lies you'd like to remember. And all that you remember, is the distance from here, to then.

That sound you hear, that's the sound of someone realising that sometimes, it's easier to change the world than it is your own life

I missed you more than words and pictures can describe. But I'll try

Only because it's still so raw and real. Soon I'll just be a series of images that sometimes flash through your mind, when you least expect it. And after that, only a few will stay. Then, one. A memory of a memory.

t may have just been a moment to you, but it changed every single one that followed for me.

The little things you forget, kill me.

I never heard what you said, just what you meant. I hate you. I love you. I don't love you anymore.

You can make the world beautiful just by refusing to lie about it.

When sadness was the sea, you were the one that taught me to swim.

If the only reason you help is so that you can tell people that you help, I don't need your help.

No one knows where the words come from and if someone tells you that they do, they're lying.

To you, it was just picking flowers. To them, it was a massacre.

You know that feeling you get when everything goes perfectly, constantly and nothing's ever wrong with anyone or anything? Me neither.

Of course it's complicated. If it wasn't, I probably wouldn't be interested in you

You were a dream. Then a reality. Now a memory.

Don't give the crowd what they want. If they knew what they wanted, they'd be on stage. Not you.

And if I blink my eyes enough, maybe I will wake up and you will still be there sleeping next to me.

That's what you never got. It takes an entire lifetime to write the words "And they lived happily ever after."

I'm fine. I just break sometimes. Just understand that if I break, I'm breaking for you.

What I meant to say was, sometimes I stare at the cigarette in my hand and beg it to stop wasting my time and just kill me. But I figured you didn't want to hear that.

If you ever forget how to breathe, I can remind you.

You tried so hard to be the person everyone wanted you to be. Maybe you should've just been the person you wanted to be.

You can join the millions talking in the dark. Or you can stand up and scream light, out into the night.

I know you're not here, I can see it in your eyes when we talk. Where ever you are, come back soon

When you lived here, it was a city. When you left, it became a town.

It feels like you or the world will never change. But I've seen you change. Both of you.

As I put down my pen, I know someone, somewhere is picking up theirs.
I know that someone, somewhere is playing a guitar for the first time.
I know that someone, somewhere is dipping a paintbrush and marking a field of white.
I know that someone, somewhere is singing a song that's never been sung.
Perhaps someone, somewhere will create something so beautiful and moving, it will change the world.
Perhaps that somewhere is here.
Perhaps that someone, is you.

The only place you'll find the perfect person, the perfect family or a perfect life is in television commercials for butter.

In the movies, the person leaving you never has a blocked nose when they cry. And all their tears are pretty.

Every time they cut you, I bleed

It sounds pretty but I disagree. I believe there are moments in your life when you have to dance like everyone is watching.

So you wrote words on the walls of the prison. Never noticing that the paragraphs became cages. Each sentence, a bar. Every word, another lock.

Sometimes I can't work out if you're a friend who wants to talk to me or an enemy who wants to take from me.

If you can pretend as hard as I'm pretending, this can be the first time we've ever met. Not the last.

There's no revenge here.
Love doesn't hate back.

And if the only reason you're still with them, is to make them pay for all they've done to you, the question remains:
Why are you still with them?

And I've seen what you make for money and I've seen what you do for fame. I've seen what you do to make people like you and I've seen what you swallow to ease the pain. I've heard what you say out of malice and I've heard what you spat out of spite.
But none of these things make you happy because not one was done for love.

You say the things you don't need to say.
Because it hurts when you don't say them.

Cieszę się kiedy mnie obgadujesz. To miłe, że jesteś tak żywo zainteresowany moją osobą, że musisz się tym z kimś podzielić.

You may continue to call it a breakup. I will continue to call it an exorcism.

Being gifted doesn't mean you've been given something.
It means, you have something to give.

You close your eyes when you cry. That's ok. Just don't keep them closed too long. Things have become beautiful since you last looked. There's nothing more to cry about.

You should eat to fill your stomach, not your soul. And drink to numb your thirst, not your pain.

When I look up at night, all the constellations look like you.

Forget the air. I'll breathe you instead.

You think bravery is to fight and courage is to die. But the bravest ones stand in front of those who would and say :"We will not fight. Because courage is to live."

There are a million important things to do. But none as important as lying here next to you.

You are not there. Somewhere in the future, suffering for something that hasn't happened yet. You are not there, in a place where all your worries manifest.
You are not there. Somewhere in the past, reliving your old mistakes and regrets. You are not there, in a place where memories resurrect.
You are here. Right here.

Because you're looking for a date, not love. Because you're more interested in who you go to bed with than who you wake up next to. Because you tick boxes in your head instead of crossing lines in your heart

I'll understand your silence. Because sometimes, you'll have to understand mine.

And I'd study the science of you till I turned it into an art. The way your atoms rub together. Molecules colliding. Chemistry building.

You're just another story I can't tell anymore.

You constantly look for a sign and when it's given to you and you don't like the answer, you call it a coincidence. There are no coincidences.

And you keep whispering the same story to yourself "I'll be unhappy now because that'll make me happy later. Because that's how a story works." So your happiness will always happen later, never now. Life isn't a story. Life is chaos.

There's not enough soil in the earth for how deep I want to be buried.
There's not enough water in the oceans for how slowly I want to sink.
There's not enough fire in the sun for how brightly I want to burn.
There aren't enough words in my head to say all the things I can't.
There's not enough blood in my body for all I need to bleed.
There's aren't enough couches in the world for how long I want to sleep.
There's not enough life in me, for all I want to live.
All I've had enough of, is you.

To wake up next to you. And confirm that the images I saw on the back of my eyelids seconds before, have all been made real.

I'll pretend that you mean the weather when you ask me how things are. I'll say cold and dry.

Look at you, like a new tattoo. Because I might not always have you but I'll have the feeling of you for the rest of my life.

He wants me.But  I want you. And you want someone else. But none of us want to turn around.

When you finally understand what it meant, the truth will leave your lips. Not as words. But a sound at the back of your throat.

Each week, you trade 5 days for 2. That doesn't sound right to me.

And if you can't say yes, answer anyway. Because I'd rather live with the answer than die with the question.

I was so busy missing you, I missed someone else standing right in front of me. Now I’m missing them instead.

Well then let them hate you but let it be because you are a good person in a bad world and bad always hates good.

And when I asked you how you'd been I meant I missed you more than I've ever missed anything before.

So I am here to take back everything you've ever taken from me

And if you look a little closer, you'll see that if a person believes that life is terrible, they’ll constantly look for proof of this, to confirm their view of the world. They’ll find quotes and situations and events in their life and magnify them a hundred times.
If a person believes that life is wonderful, they’ll look for the corresponding signage and behave in a similar manner to the previous person with their view of the world.
Often, this is the same person on different days of the week.

As soon as things start being the way they should be instead of the way they are, I’ll start telling them to you that way.

So you need to keep the window open, so I can steal your keyboard, so I can find your DNA and recreate you for future generations.

The only reason I hate you now is because I loved you then.

These things take time to remember. But you weren't always like this. I knew you before.

You're at the top of my list of meaningful decisions I need to make

Things change the way you feel. And things change

Everything you like, I will find some reason to dislike and if we find we like the same thing, I will insist that you like it less than me or for the wrong reasons, like you don’t really understand the things you like. Because that makes me feel better 

I was wondering if you had a second. To talk about anything at all.

When we get to the end of this, you're going to need to remind me whose turn it is to leave.

Sometimes I touch the things you used to touch, looking for echoes of your fingers.

If you enjoy the title of your job more than your job, you're in the wrong job.

You need to stop being so concerned with collecting beautiful things and start being more concerned with making things beautiful.

It only hurt the first time so you'd know how much it didn't hurt the second time.

You are the distance between the way things are and the way I want them to be

You were better to the ones that were worse for you. And worse to the one that was better for you.
I do not have to look at the clock to know that it's midnight. I can feel the day rushing across the world, as fast as time.

But somewhere, there is a beach that time cannot reach. Where everyone and everything has always been and never was. And perhaps, you are there waiting for me.

In that place, time cannot touch.

I lied when I told you I forgot. I know it doesn't seem like a big thing but I wanted to tell you the truth and never, ever lie to you.

Because that's how it starts.

Why did you build me, if all you wanted to do, was knock me down.

Why did you raise me, if all you wanted to do, was bring me low.

Why did you make me, if all you wanted to do, was break me
There is no pain.

Just atoms becoming humans and picnics, lovers and stars. And then something else. And sometimes it feels like if the wind blew too hard, it'd take us all with it. You don't have to close your eyes. There is no pain. Just atoms becoming the blood that pumps through your heart and the knot in your throat, the clouds above us and air inside your lungs. There's nothing to cry about. There is no pain. Just the light from distant suns and flocks of birds. The sensation of time passing. Waves against the sky. Those shudders than run through your body, aren't there. Your nose isn't blocked. There is no pain.

Brak komentarzy:

Prześlij komentarz