You’ve got 2 weeks to let go of everything that needs to stay in 2020. All the people, pain, defeats, disappointments, hurt, heartbreak, grudges, fear and negativity. Let it all go. 2021 is going to be a year of fresh starts, new beginnings, new connections and new opportunities.
You’ve got 2 weeks to let go of everything that needs to stay in 2020. All the people, pain, defeats, disappointments, hurt, heartbreak, grudges, fear and negativity. Let it all go. 2021 is going to be a year of fresh starts, new beginnings, new connections and new opportunities.
“Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.”
when they ask you about love does my name ever come up?
concept: i am sending you so much love through the screen right now and by the time you finish reading this you will have received a little package of peace and love. there u go
“I remember one morning getting up at dawn. There was such a sense of possibility. You know, that feeling. And I … I remember thinking to myself: So this is the beginning of happiness, this is where it starts. And of course there will always be more … never occurred to me it wasn’t the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment, right then.”
— Michael Cunningham, from The Hours (Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, 1998)
Dziewczyny, wyjdźcie z umysłowego ciemnogrodu. Ta frustracja to tylko Wasz problem, że pozwalacie sobie pracować bez planu i mało efektywnie. Nie kupuję w 100% wszystkiego, co prezentuje Laura, ale uważam, że blog i jej działania są bardzo spójne i profesjonalne. Bardzo cieszę się, że dotarła do etapu, w którym jej życie wygląda w taki właśnie sposób.
wiadomo, że jak coś podsumujesz w typowo złośliwy sposób to każde zajęcie będzie wydawało się monotonne i nudne, bo wszystko z odrobiną złej woli można sprowadzić do „klepania tego samego”, jeszcze na dodatek dla kogoś (na etacie). jestem bardzo zadowolona - robię to, co lubię w branży, która mnie interesuje. poznaję ciekawych ludzi na spotkaniach, sama reguluję swój tryb pracy, nikt mi niczego nie narzuca, czerpię dużo radości i satysfakcji z tego, że jest tyle osób zainteresowanych tym, w co wkładam ogrom zaangażowania i na czym tak mi zależy, jestem bardzo wdzięczna i dla mnie to świetna sprawa. a odnośnie wrażenia, że blogowanie to tyko robienie foci i łażenie po knajpach - caly czas mam coś do roboty, bo sama ogarniam też formalnosci, maile itp.
ja jestem zadowolona z tego co robię, nie rozumiem dlaczego usilnie próbujesz mi wmówić, że nie powinnam być. dodatkowo nie jestem typem osoby lubiącej pompować swoje działania/osiągnięcia i robić wokól wszystkiego więcej szumu niż to jest warte. zwykłe dzialania z PRami kosmetycznych marek premium nazywać wielkimi dealami z SZANEL itp., wypożyczać torebki z Vitkaca do zdjęć i udawac, że to wielkie „kolaboracje” z LV :D w ubiegłym tygodniu robiłam 2 fajne rzeczy, jedną dla magazynu, który bardzo lubię. ja nie uczestniczę w jakichś zawodach, robię sobie wszystko swoim tempem i po swojemu, na luzie. niektóre blogerki z tego „levelu niżej niż Maff czy Jess” czują jakieś chore presje, że powinny non stop coś robić, koloryzują to co robią, zapowiadają „milion projektów, nad którymi właśnie pracują” a finalnie wiele się nie dzieje :D wiem jakie praktyki ludzie stosują, ale ja nie działam w ten sposób i jestem zadowolona
oczywiście, chłopak bardzo mi pomaga. na pewno zatrudniłabym po prostu kogoś do robienia zdjęć, ale swoboda kiedy zdjęcia robi ktoś obcy a mój chłopak jest nieporównywalna, poza tym wie dokładnie jakie ujęcia mi się podobają i co lubię + możemy robić sesje przy okazji idąc gdzieś a z fotografem trzeba się spotykać specjalnie na zdjęcia
- Martha Nussbaum, Anger and Forgiveness
There are times that my husband asks me questions, just to hear my thoughts. Like, he’ll read an article and send it to me just so we can talk about it. And I remember the first time he did it when we dated. I realized he actually respected what I thought and my opinion and he wasn’t just asking to be a devils advocate. Sometimes he would just let me talk and talk and just say “I hadn’t thought about it that way. That’s a good point” and that’s it. Not to fight me or ask my opinion so he can say his
And it dawned on me how many men are assholes and like to hear themselves talk and that for the 24 years of my life prior to being with him, not a single man had just ever asked me what i thought, just to hear my thoughts.
It doesn't matter what he actually looks like as much as it matters what he thinks and how he feels he looks like. He could be a supermodel and still feel that way. It's emotional and psychological. Has he considered talking to a professional about his problems?
In all sincerity, no one can give another person a different point of view unless they are open to it. Every anorexic person has heard countless times, opinions they are thin enough, look great as is, etc, they hear but they do not see that when they look in the mirror. Their own self image is damaged in ways they love and affection have little to ability to fix.
What was his childhood like? Does he have to work to get approval from his family? Do they accept him as is, flaws and all? I know when we love someone, we think we can fix them or love enough to help but it's simply not true. He may need help from a third party that is able to have a deeper conversation with him. The fact that he won't discuss his penis with his girlfriend is frightening repressed. Most guys would be willing to talk about it, wave it around and helicopter in front of their girlfriends even as a goof.
It can be as simple as taking some time — when your partner is in a good space, by the way, and not hyperfocused on body negativity — to say, “I want to check in about how you’d like me to respond when you’re struggling with your body image. What would be helpful to say? And what would be harmful? I care about you, and I want to support you; I just need a little help.”
Communication goes a long, long way.
Try “I understand where you’re coming from, and [reality]” or “I hear what you’re saying, and [reality]” instead. That way, you allow space for their feelings, while also reminding them of what’s objectively true.
what if we kissed. under the saturn and jupiter conjunction
“I remember people’s auras almost better than their faces.”
— T.S. Eliot, Poems & Plays; “The Family Reunion”
There is nothing wrong or bad about being a nice person, unless it's a fake act. It's even better when you're a truly good person. The problem is that many people aren't. I didn't learn that until after age 40. Hopefully you won't be as stubborn and resistant as I was in learning that.
Learn how to pick good guys as boyfriends. Those guys are worth your time and deserve a good girl. The guys that tell you it's bad to be a good person are not worth one minute of your time...seriously. Don't allow them to bask in your goodness. They'll likely drag you down to their level, and that's not somewhere you ever want to be. Once you get there, it's hard to climb out of it. Good luck, Sally Joy, and remember to find some good guys to help you navigate the guy-speak.
If this is not the case, than just ask him out right what aspect of your personality is too nice for his liking? I have had numerous bad relationships over the years, and the one thing that could have saved all of them, would have been a little more kindness. I am telling you this because hopefully it will make you question, what kind of person wouldn’t want to be with someone who is nice, and is that person worth trading in your good up-brining for?
It sounds to me that this guy you like is not very eloquent. Being nice is a positive quality, and using the term as a criticism doesn't make sense.
When he disagrees with you, do you surrender right away without standing up for your point of view? Try to analyze if these things are true. If they aren’t and he really is just not accustomed to true kindness (patience, forgiveness, unconditional love), then perhaps you should find someone with the same life perspective as your own.
I guess (since there are no specifics) that he thinks you behave like a doormat, probably because you aim to please people you shouldn't be pleasing, i.e. people who 'demand' to be pleased for whatever reason.
Also, if you are too easy in complying with other people's wishes, you will be taken for granted, so it's good to show some backbone here and don't answer before you have figured out whether you'll be wasting your time on a person. If there is no satisfaction or reward following your efforts, you run the risk of 'burning out' on people in general.
Please, don't stop being kind. You need to realize that some people aren't used to being treated nicely, it can be quite a shock to their system. Try to take it more slowly. Give him time to adjust.
I've found that individuals like that aren't just afraid of kindness, they are also afraid of happiness, and they're deeply insecure with themselves.
Still, don't try to be nice to the point of fakeness, be genuine about it. And don't be afraid to tease them and mess around at times! You don't have to go along with everything he says either, it's okay to disagree and have a light-hearted debate. Show him that you're kind, but also fierce and witty and interesting.
Original Question: Why is being too nice as a woman a turn-off to men?
It’s so not.
Kindness is by far the sexiest quality a person can have. When I meet the sort of woman who makes everyone around her feel beautiful and cared for… damn! It’s fucking irresistible!
This may sound unrealistic but it’s so true. I know several women who, when I first met them, weren’t strikingly attractive to my eye (I’m not saying ugly, but nothing to write home about). As I got to know them and saw how wonderfully they treated everyone around them, I began to see them as steadily more physically attractive. I’d begin to wonder why I never noticed how beautiful her eyes were or why I’d never previously appreciated the way she styled her hair. In short, possession of a kind nature makes me see all of a woman’s beauty and none of her faults, physically speaking.
It goes the other way as well, no matter what the movies say. I have known a couple of women who likely could have had their pictures on magazine covers but, as I have come to know how ugly they were inside, made me wonder how I’d ever found them pretty. Meanness and cruelty are the most revolting qualities I’ve ever seen. They immediately make me see every blemish and fault, no matter how hard she tries to hide them. I don’t care how pretty people tell you you are on Instagram, if you are ugly inside then you are still an ugly bitch. No thanks.
In conclusion, I think you’ve been deceived. Obviously no preference is universal but in my experience kindness is a quality that the vast majority of men find very attractive. For many of us, it’s a prerequisite and cruelty is a dealbreaker. Do not confuse whatever douchebag put this in your head with men in general. Keep being kind, and know that if some find it unattractive, they are the ugly ones and you are better off without them.
Finally, finding someone who is right for you is going to take time. You've got to be confident in yourself and be patient to stick this landing. It's a bad idea to fixate on one specific person when he's not clearly reciprocating your interest. Especially if all you have in common is he looks hot, and you approve. :P Instead, just keep your options open. Find ways to meet more men. Cultivate some male friendships (not more than you can reliably maintain; be choosy) for the sake of friendship and not with an eye on anything more. In general you will not find love, it will find you.. and it will do that more rapidly if there are tons of opportunities for that to happen.
It's a numbers game, and the goal is compatibility. It's like fishing. You put yourself out there and wait it out until there is a bite: that's when yo can focus on courting someone specific. You don't fish by looking into the water and saying "I want that one". They've got to be after what you bring to the table. :P
https://sweetlikeacherry.tumblr.com/
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