When she plays you a song, listen to it throughly. This is her way of communicating everything she cannot speak.

Will you allow me to touch even the
darkest corners of your mind? I wish
to be the only one with the ability to
pull at what holds you together until
you reach a release. I desire to be the
one who positions the blade aiming at
the strings that keep your heart together.
I want to be the one who splits your
soul into perfectly fragmented pieces,
leaving room for every piece of mine.

Let me be the one to break you. I will
be the one with a heart strong enough
to love you unconditionally, sheltering
you enough before you can no longer
absorb the heat of the distress and you
reach your ultimate demise. I will act
as the sun flying closer to your heart
to uncover all the deception that has left
your skin torn in two. Like the moon
that revolves around the earth to give
the other half a chance to hide, let
me work to conceal you.

I want to love every seam of you. I will
discover the places where you allowed
the blade to make love to your skin. I
urge you to recover the memories of
the place where you lost yourself in the
darkness, screaming because you have
always been so desperate for help. Let
me find who broke you, and chain them
out. Let me be the one that makes you
whole.

“Your veins create a map
of all the places that my love
longs to call home.”

“They ask me about
the meaning of love,
and the first thing that
comes to my mind is you.

 But your words hit me
harder than your fists ever could,
and your bitterness makes my blood
run cold. I have lost my desire to love,
because I can no longer love you. 

Even in memory you are exhausting, and I am tired of you.

You will always be

a perfect memory

of a first love

gone wrong.

I do not want to 
hear your apology
when you do not
even understand
what it means 
to truly be sorry.

your memory tastes 
of bitter wine and
ashtray lips.

“You never loved me, but I know that you tried to.”

The only thing
keeping me from
telling you
that I miss you,
is now that you
are really gone.

last nights eyes
make me feel naked
in the morning light.

I write about you 
to keep your memory alive, 
because in my mind you 
are more than an empty corpse, 
more than the scars, 
and more than your history. 
You are the light 
that brought my world hope, 
and you are the woman 
that opened my eyes 
to all of the beauty in the world. 
You are more than simple words
could ever convey.”

You have pushed me far enough away 
that the distance between us feels more 
substantial than ever before, but I am 
still here waiting hopelessly for you to 
realize that I always meant it when I said 
I would never let you go. We were meant
to show that forever is still eternal.

You never did tell me
exactly what it was
that made you strong,
what made you weak.

You never did tell me
exactly what it was
that made you leave

“Of all my mistakes,
falling in love with you
will always be my favourite.”

“The silence is deafening and 
I can feel us becoming strangers. 
I know that you think that I am 
a foolish woman that simply wants 
what is no longer mine, but my time 
with you made me feel like my bones 
finally had a place to rest. 
I am miserable without you, and 
your shadow has settled on all 
the things that you ever touched.
Your memory is crushing all 
of the things that I used to love.
I need you to tell me that everything 
is going to be okay.”

— "Where you find her love, you will find me." 

I am addicted to you,
and there is no cure
for that. 

“I never meant to drown myself in you.”

“I never wanted to be
your favourite secret.”

Incase you’re wondering
I still miss you, I still love you
and you’re always on my mind. 
You will always be it for me.

you have never 
needed water
to make me feel 
like i’m drowning.

Sometimes I can feel you beside me, and I wonder if you
can feel me loving you from where I am.

I have tried to let you go, but I understand now that this will likely
never happen. You are a constant feeling within the walls of my life,
and I will never be able to rid you from my mind. I have wanted
to tell you that I miss you, but I am moving forward and now I
want to say that I still love you. I will always love you.

I am not ashamed, I am not proud, I am honest.
It is rare, but sometimes I can find pieces of you
within the silence, and so I like to be alone.

the sky looks as heavy as my heart feels

I have lost myself
trying to find my way
back to you. 

I had always wondered
what it would be like
loving someone like you.
Someone so crippled
with memories and
the heaviness of regret.

You were always the first
willing to tell a lie.
Looking back, I recognize
that this is why you were so good
at keeping me a secret.

I was something unlike
anything you were used to.
I inspired beauty inside of you,
and watched as you grew
from a young girl
to a beautiful woman.
You cried when you realized
I had yet to discover
those parts of myself.

It wasn’t long after that,
that you let me go
to endure these discoveries
all alone.

I always neglect
the parts of my mind
that wear your memory
upon their walls.

”

— "Incase you were wondering, this is about you." - Mariah Gordon-Dyke

sometimes I ache for you
in ways that I will never understand.
your absence is like light being
completely consumed by darkness.
your memory has never acted as my friend;
it was the first to tell me any lies,
and the first to leave me behind.
you are not like anything that I am used to,
and I wonder how I am ever going to
pursue the act of forgetting you.

I will wait patiently 

to hear words that 

you will never say, 

and even though 

I may wish to, 

I will never stray.

1. One Friday night, I did not come home. You worried about me, and you were right to. I spent hours in the bed of a stranger, curled up in sheets consumed in soft skin and wet lips. This was the first time I embraced the caress of a stranger. The air held words full of comfort, and the walls now wear the memory of pleasure. This was the night that allowed me to see that sometimes it’s alright to indulge in spontaneity. It’s alright to go home to an unfamiliar bed. It’s alright to leave your panties on the floor.

I will smile whenever I hear
your name, and I will let go
of everything that defined
my love for you, because
I know that is what you
want me to do.

I am boarding up my windows
and closing every door.
You will never find me.

1 A.M. and
I cannot help
but feel hopeless,
like nothing
will ever save me
from the ache
of your memory.

As 2 A.M. hits
I can once again
feel the pierce
of your lips against
my fragile skin.

By 3 A.M.
I realize that
I will never feel
at home in this
bed again.
Your presence
lives on like
a stain on the
palms of
my hands.

So when 4 A.M.
rolls around, I
allow the darkness
to swallow up
the parts of you
that remain,
and I hope
that tomorrow
will be a better day.

Time never taught me
how to let you go.
I’m losing my mind,
and I’ve already lost you.

I remember that final night and the way
your lips felt as they grazed my own.
I don’t think I ever told you, but you tasted
of cigarette ashes and bitter wine. I remember
you as you were wrapping your hands
around my own, and telling me you would
have regretted it if you hadn’t taken
the chance to allow your lips to taste
what they have craved for so long.
I instantly missed your warmth as we parted,
and from that moment on, I could not
comprehend why we wasted our time
together doing anything but this.

I will never let you go,
   and as hard as I fight
      the idea of forever with you
  out from my mind,
        I will always remember
          what it feels like to imagine it.
  Dark nights consumed with nothing
      but the thought of you
   filling me up, and flowing out.

You hear me say that I miss you,
but what I am telling you is that
the ache in my bones has become
too much to bear alone. I am telling you
that the blood in my veins is laced with you,
and I can feel your pulse on the edge
of my fingertips, begging to be grazed.
Now that I am watching you walk away,
I am trying to hold myself together in ways
that only you could.

I start to forget you, and all of my fondest memories of our time together come flooding back. I see the way you looked when you leaned in to kiss me, and I still feel your arms wrapped around me while your head rests on my back after our first fight. I hear your voice as you are yelling that I am blind if I do not see that you love me; there are tears forming in your eyes. I am watching myself as I look at you in the dimly lit movie theatre, and I remember telling your brothers about how I did not know what it meant, but I knew that I loved you. I remember you holding that cigarette between your lips on our final night together, and I remember every moment of the last time we shared a bed. I remember thinking of how I was going to wake you once I finally reached you, thinking that I could crawl into the bed where your mind was resting, and wrap myself around you. I thought we would spend our time curled around the curves of one another, but reality insisted that the air be so heavy and thick that we would never touch. I do not think I will ever be able to let go of what I know now, and that is that a love like what I held for you is something that I will never rid of. I will wear your memory on my skin, and when people ask why I feel so cold, I will tell them that my body lost it’s warmth when it realized it would never feel your touch again.

What I am trying to say is that I miss you,
and I am afraid that this feeling will never go away.

I have found someone
that holds the potential
to love me deeper
than you ever could.

Unlike with you, I have never
felt like a burden breathing in
the air that surrounds him.
His eyes are warm, and yours
were empty. His fingers
hold more than lines that
represent all his past lovers,
and they graze my skin
with the touch of a gentle
satisfaction.

I cannot keep it to myself.
I have never waited for anyone
past you, but I refuse to be
put on a shelf to never be
touched again.

I am forgetting you
a little bit more as
every day passes,
and I cannot help
but wonder if you
are doing the same.

when people ask what
happened to me, I will
tell them that it was you.
you are the secret I kept
in the corners of my mouth,
hidden under my tongue
like a pill meant to save me,
but in time, destroying me.

I know that you
aren’t sure if you
love me, and I know
that you’re not sure
that you don’t.

I have memorized
so many faces after
finding you in them.

Lovers come,
and lovers go,
but your name
is a name that I
will always know.

I always regret
loving strangers;
you were no exception.

who do you love
when you are not
busy trying to
forget about me?

We will come 
back to each other,
oh my darling just 
you wait and see.

I have never asked for you 
to leave me within the shadows
because it was better for me,
or asked you to forget about me, 
but you, my love, have asked all 
of this of me. 

I am not leaving you, I will never 
leave you, because I am eternally 
in love with you. But you are always 
finding new reasons to leave me.

I do not love you because I am lonely, 
and the fact that you believe that the 
only way for someone to truly love you,
is for them to see you as a last resort
makes me ache in ways I never thought possible. 
I will never choose you because I am “alone”,
I will choose you because you remind me 
that sometimes it is okay to be that way.

You are a part
of my history
that I am proud
to call my own.

I feel your presence 
slipping into absence, 
and I am afraid of who
I will become once you
are gone. But I know 
that you never called 
my heart home, and 
I must do right by you
and let you go.

your love was never
permanently mine,
and i realize now
how useless it is
to hold on to someone
that no longer wishes
to be a part of your life.

be careful who you 
give your love to, 
because they may not 
give it back to you

Whatever you do, do not let her drink. 
When she does, let her dance, 
let her smoke another cigarette, 
and let her yell at you. 
Listen to her, because chances are 
she is telling you that she loves you, 
and this is a memory you do not want to forget.

f she is feeling down, close the blinds
and crawl into bed. Wrap yourself around her
and watch twelve hours of whatever
ridiculous television show she has chosen,
because those are the times
she will appreciate the most.

Repeat to yourself that she will love you one day,
and some day you will start to believe it.

Finally, your time with her will be the happiest
you have been in your entire life. Enjoy it.

At some point in your life,
if you are very lucky, you
will meet a person that
separates your life into
the time before you knew
them, and the time after.
She was that person
for me.

Someday I will
find peace in
forgetting you,
and a home in
your memory.

You told me that
you didn’t know
what you wanted,
but what you meant
was that you didn’t
want me.

And though I may
never be entirely sure,
my memories tell me
that you are worth
fighting for.

I will miss being in her life,
driving down the roads
that confine her, with the
people that define her.
I will miss her eyes and
the constant struggle
she carries around on
her shoulders. I will miss
the way her tongue
rolls to say my name,
and the one time she
kissed my forehead
will forever remain
in my mind. But
we will never live
united; her love will
never be mine.

You may never want
to admit it, but you and I
shared the kind of love
that others crave. 

You remind me
of the parts of myself
that I will never
have a chance
to meet.

I love you in more ways
than I can count. I do not
love you simply because
of your beauty or your 
incredible mind, but rather
how your beauty shines
from your deepest depths,
and how you spread your 
wisdom so effortlessly. 
I love you because I know that
you would run to the ends 
of the earth just to show me 
how much you love me. 
Your soul radiates the warmest 
of colours, your hands are home
to my own, and the love that I
carry for you is heavier than
anything else I have held. 
I cannot help but think that
you are too good to be true.

You spread a
toxic kind of
love and it is
making its way
deep into my
bones. I am
afraid that
there is no
cure for a love
like this.

It has taken you next to no time
to realize that you really do not
need me. And that would be
just fine if I could remember
how to live without you.

Do you remember the days
when I spent hours waiting
on you, making myself look
ridiculous in your eyes. You
used to be my life, my soul.
I used to be so damn in love
with you.

By 3 A.M.
I realize that
you will not
be coming
back to me.

So when 4 A.M
rolls around, I
turn my back
to the door,
and promise
myself that
tomorrow, I
will not call.'

I am just so tired.
Tired of missing you,
tired of loving you and
most of all, I am tired
of remembering
you entirely. 

I am sorry that
it took losing you
for me to see
what you truly
meant to me.

And I know that
it would do no good,
but I would hurt you
if I could

your silence
spoke louder
than any string
of words you
ever spoke.

Of all the things I remember
about you, your lips will be
the hardest to forget

you were never
permanent; you
were never mine.

Loving you has changed me
into someone I no longer
want to be. I feel disconnected
from myself, because I am
so busy always trying to find
you.

there is a difference between
absence and presence. i know
this to be true, because i feel
you, but i know you will never
be here with me. your presence
is now defined by your absence. 

you are gone and yet
still present. you are
everywhere, and you
are nowhere. i cannot
escape. 

She spent the summer
making her way through
multiple lovers, hoping
that as she pressed her
once cherished lips
against the necks of 
new strangers that she
could find her way back
to who she used to be.

you will always
love me the most
when I am not
yours to love.

"After all 
You did
It took
One
Fucking 
Kiss.
I still don’t hate you
But I hate myself for it."


I personify the world because life is an inspiring concept I believe in; anything can become a something. 

"Nie skreślaj mnie" autor: Sławomir Wolski

"Nie skreślaj mnie
ze spisu pilnych marzeń,
nie spychaj w cień,
pod stos wyblakłych gazet.
Nie skreślaj mnie
na liście do zachwytu,
nie zmieniaj w biel
szarości wspólnych świtów.
Nie skreślaj mnie.
Podkreślaj mnie.
Nie skreślaj mnie
w podpisach tatuaży,
nie wmawiaj, że
nasz sen się nie przydarzył.
Nie skreślaj mnie
z albumu słodkich wzruszeń,
nie spalaj zdjęć
i wyznań nie retuszuj.
Nie skreślaj mnie.
Podkreślaj mnie.
Nie skreślaj mnie,
ja nie dam się zapomnieć,
czy chcesz, czy nie,
twe myśli wrócą do mnie.
Nie skreślaj mnie,
pojawię się na nowo
i skreślę cię,
by zniknąć razem z tobą.
Nie skreślaj mnie.
Podkreślaj mnie."

Był taki okres, że byłam gotowa na największe głupstwo, 

byle tylko znaleźć się blisko niego, słuchać co mówi, 

móc go dotknąć, kiedy zaś moje niemądre marzenia się ziściły,

okazało się, że traciłam czas na wyobrażanie sobie Bóg wie czego."

"I’ll never forget the night
We held hands when
You still had a girlfriend.
I knew you didn’t love her
As you reached for my hand.
We were on a dark back
Road dimly light by lantern
Like streetlights.
You told me you hadn’t
Felt this happy in years.
As we came to a stop
In the middle of the road.
You said you couldn’t
Continue to drive while
Being so distracted by your
Urges to kiss me.
I knew it was wrong, and it wasn’t
Fair to your girlfriend.
I knew I would regret it
But I leaned over and kissed
You.
I kissed you right on
Your perfect lips.
I kissed a boy
Who belonged to someone
Else but I swear in that
Moment you were mine."

She wouldn’t matter anyway
She would
Feel so alone watching us
Fall in love.
You were my chance at
Freedom.
Sometimes I still see you
Through the ihop glass
Window.
I don’t bother to wave because
What is the point in waving
To someone who
Wasn’t there to break my fall."

remember the second night i knew you
 and how you covered up my mouth in your bedroom

because i was falling in love too loudly?

You remind me of a summer night.

You seem so endless,
but I know you will come to an end
before I’m ready to say goodbye.

"

Do you think there is a place,
Somewhere out of our reach,
Where you and I are only separated by the clothes on our body
Instead of dark interstate miles and late night phone calls?"

You don’t need to recognize my face.
You will see it in his eyes when he wakes up.

You don’t ever need to hear my voice.
He will talk about it in his sleep.

Please, keep the man you see in front of you.
I’ve already had the best of him.

You’ll never need to compare us.
Darling, I left a mark on that man
In the shape of my name
In a place where your standards will never reach.

You were like a stranger
With familiar qualities.
I tried to kiss your face
But you pulled away
And said you had a girlfriend.
Sometimes it’s best if 
We don’t speak at all. 
Sometimes it’s best that our
Lips don’t meet anymore.
Sometimes it’s best if 
We are strangers.
Atleast if we are strangers
I wont even know
You have a girlfriend.
I don’t know what to think
When I pass your name in my phone,
I don’t know what to think
When we haven’t talked in months.
It’s hard to accept our
Lips will never meet again.
It’s even harder to accept 
Your lips are meeting
Someone else’s.
Lets rewind , back to
When we woke up beside
Each other holding hands.
Can we just hold hands
For old times sake? 
Can our lips meet for old
Times sake?
Can our clothes come off 
For old times sake?
I miss you like the water
Misses the shore when the tide 
Goes back out. 
I miss you like an artist
Misses a painting they
Never finished painting. 
I miss you like a shot 
A basketball player
Took and missed.
I see you everywhere I go
I see you in the darkness we 
Shared when you kissed me
For the first time. 
I see you every time I look
Into the ocean because we
Once shared the water together.
Will my love for you
haunt me forever 
Or will you let me free? 
Will my love for you
Stain my heart like the 
Grease stain you left
On my favorite shirt? 
It’s like my tears have
Accumulated and have 
Formed an ocean 
between us now
And I don’t have a boat
To get me back to you. 
Maybe one day your
Ghost won’t haunt me anymore.
Maybe one day our lips
Will meet again.
Maybe one day you
Won’t have a girlfriend.

"I wish you’d stay.
After all you’ve seen inside this head,
I wish you’d stay.
I wish I had one little piece to
keep you here instead.
Because it’s been empty for so long now,
with just a handful passing through.
Maybe some day one of them will make it home,
but no matter how bad I wish it could be,
I guess it isn’t you."

"These words aren’t about you.
They’re about the person I let rent space
inside my heart.
They’re about the times I wished I could go back
and say to them, “No it’s okay, you can stay longer
I don’t care if your payment is late.”
Because having you there was enough.
But these words aren’t about you.
They’re for the person still hiding behind these drained eyes.
These shaking fingers.
These weak limbs.
And I’m still not sure which is better;
to feel everything at once or nothing at all.
Because sometimes it is both,
and you are the gushing waters drowning my lungs.
And sometimes it is neither,
and you are the words I wish I could take back.
We always left so many of them unsaid,
letting our bodies do the talking.
But now I wonder how many conversations
we’ve had with each other when we
thought we were asleep."

Because I could tell
You didn’t care in the
Way you said you did. 
I saw it in your eyes 
I felt it in your voice. 
Love was a chance
But felt like a choice. 
As I lay hear with
The rain coming down. 
I realize the rain is
All we have in common
Anymore. 
You have probably 
Forgot the way I looked
When I slept
Next to you.
I can’t sleep these days
When my mind plays
Memories of me
And you on repeat.

I hope we meet again someday, Somewhere completely random that takes you by surprise. I hope when you see my face across the way your stomach fills with regret. I hope you won’t even be able to look at me still to that day because you are so upset you hurt me so terribly. I want you to see me and think ” wow she looks so happy.”

I hope by then I am happy. Maybe by then you won’t even cross my mind. Who knows I might just pass you right on by because I have forgot the way your blue eyes shine.

I hope one day we can both be unbearably happy. Maybe together or maybe separately but in the end all that matters is that we end up happy.

You can be lonely even when you are loved by many people, since you are still not anybody’s one and only."

Maybe even though you saw him with another woman, laughing and joking in a smoky bar with their heads held close together, you still think you have a shot with him.

You don’t.

This way of thinking will ruin you; you need to stop looking around corners and walking on eggshells when you’re near…

You still matter to me because I still write about you. I still write about missing you. I still write about you hurting me, me hurting you and the pain we inflicted on each other. I still write about the great and horrible times. It’s all still present with me, meaning you are too. I still write about you because there’s still something left to be written.

Our story left at “to be continued”

I got home and the only person I wanted to see was you. 
The only person I wanted to take the numbness away was you. 
But you’re nowhere to be found and I’m starting to see it’s not just a phase. 
The irony in telling myself, “I told you so”. 

Because sometimes,
I kiss boys who drive jeeps,
Boys that make me feel 
Like I am worth as
Much as that gum on
That shelf. 
Boys who leave when 
All the fun has come
And gone. 
They don’t even know
They took my heart
As they went. 
Boys who fill me with
Hopes and promises
Just to later let them
Flow away as fast
As they flowed in.
Boys that make me feel
like a princess or a queen
Only to realize everything
They ever said, they
Didn’t even mean. 
Boys who lay in 
My bed for hours
On end just to leave
And never plan
On returning again.
I wonder why my 
Heart feels numb
Maybe because every 
Boy that comes takes
A piece of my heart
And I don’t know
If I can get them back.

You want to kiss all kinds of different people, you want to wake up in a stranger’s bed maybe once or twice just to see if it feels good to feel nothing, you want to have a group of friends that feels like a tribe, a bonafide family. You want to go from one place to the next constantly and have your weekends feel like one long epic day. You want to dance to stupid music in your stupid room and have a nice job that doesn’t get in the way of living your life too much. You want to be less scared, less anxious, and more willing. Because if you’re closed off now, you can only imagine what you’ll be like later.

I want to wear a
blue dress on my
wedding day because
I’m not pure and
I think the sea
is the most beautiful
thing the most
innocent I have
ever been.

you have to value yourself. You have to want great things for your life. This sort of shit doesn’t happen overnight but it can and will happen if you want it.

Do you want it bad enough? Does the fear of being filled with regret in your thirties trump your fear of living today?

We shall see.

“It’s about misunderstandings between people and places, being disconnected and looking for moments of connection. There are so many moments in life when people don’t say what they mean, when they are just missing each other, waiting to run into each other in a hallway.”

“I will not forget you, though. I don’t think that you particularly deserve my memory, nor do I flatter myself into believing that you return my sense of vague wistfulness. There is no part of me that wants to return to the limbo I existed in for so long, or even the often-imagined parallel universe in which you reciprocated my feelings to the letter. I do, however, want to remember what it feels like to be hurt, to want, to need something so desperately only to find out that your life is perfectly fine without it. As much as the little scar on my knee will always remind me to watch out when I am running, yours on my heart will teach me to be kind. Because I know what it feels like to be cast aside with indifference, and I know that it’s a pain from which the body itself takes a long time to recover. You will live in my mind as a cautionary tale, a fable of how much damage words can do — especially when they are insincere. And though I am not nostalgic for what we did have, I am hopeful about life being filled with everything we didn’t.”

Am I an option? Am I important? Am I just another girl to add to your list? I wanted to be special. I don’t want to be just another one. I wanna be important. I want you to think about me always. I want you to miss me. I don’t think it’s gonna happen like this anymore. I had hope but my hope is fading.

stupid you
Stupid me
Whose the dumber of the two
Me for believing you, 
Or you for being you.

"I don’t have it in me to like someone more than they like me. I can’t continue to have the same conversations with people not looking for serious relationships or only want a rebound. I’m not interested in being someone’s side girl, number two, or back-up plan and I’m equally disinterested in putting someone in that category. There should never be runner-ups in relationships."

It is like a car crash, I know the impact is coming soon
This is slow motion, the dreadful crash is just a loom
Should I stay or should i run
And just assume.

I told you I was upset,
You did nothing to make it better
With every passing second, minute
By minute my eyes grew wetter.

I used to feel so much passion
In this same very heart
Now all I feel is emptiness like
I did before the very start.

Do you even listen when I tell
You about the sadness inside of me
I cry, I cry, I cry, you just leave me be
How hard would it be to just check
Up on she?

So what I’m trying to say is
I don’t think you care about
What my feelings are
I’m not like you, I can’t make them
Go away at a dimly lite bar.

That was a bit harsh I admit it was
But so was inviting the infamous
she,
And disinviting your girlfriend,thee
How silly of i to think this would ever mean anything to anyone other than me.

he used to kiss me
and thinking of it now
i’m not sure how “hello”
turned into intimacy

its over now
i don’t have much
left to say

except that i don’t
know how “then”
turned into today

the middle drops out
and all i have left is
the beginning
and the end

it keeps me from knowing
how to be anything
besides a “friend” 

if you think long enough
everything just becomes reversed 

like how douche-bag guys are just
wounded souls
and bitches are just insecure

and how mirrors only show
what you look like backwards and

common words you use everyday
don’t sound like English

your hopes and dreams aren’t attainable
and the middle of the day feels like
the middle of the night

and the fact that he doesn’t love you
becomes “well he might” 

You aren’t the shooting star you thought you’d be. To me though, you’ve always felt like the Fourth of July, you’ve always acted like a firework.

I wonder what it was like to fall…

"Every beginning is just the start of the end." I belong to everyone but no one at the same time. // You cheated on your girlfriend with me but I didn’t care because I wasn’t her.

Everyone is the same and once again I’m sleeping alone.

There are galaxies inside me waiting to be released. 
If you touch my skin in the sunlight your fingers will burn and I hope you learn your lesson. 
I am made up of things bigger than you boy.
The stars were hung in the sky just to light my path.

I am still the same girl I was back then except I stopped believing in everything including you.

I just want to see you. I want to sit in your car with you and tell you all the ways I have planned out killing myself. You will sigh but you will sit there and listen. You will not tell me not to do it nor will you tell me negative things. I want to explain to you for the 500th time that the earth is a terrible place to live and you will agree. We will probably hold hands and my heart will beat so fast that I feel like I’m going into cardiac arrest. You make me feel safe. I want to sit beside you for the rest of my life. I want to experience every second for the rest of my life with you there to tell all about it. You make the world feel like a better place but once you leave the world goes back to black and grey. I feel trapped without you here painting the sky pretty colors just to make me smile. I want to sit in your car for hours with my feet on the dashboard while you tell me about the way you plan on becoming president one day and I’ll lie and say that i don’t think you can do it. Later we will lay in your bed while the moon is hanging in the sky and both be grateful that I never actually killed myself and that makes every second I waste without you worthwhile.

How hard is it to text someone?
Like hello I miss you.
I wish you missed me too.

I should have pretended I’d drank more
and kissed you on that couch
made a fool of myself again
just so you could taste how much I think of you

You can do great things
Things that will cause your father to
scratch his beard and ask for more details
Things greater than the small town you grew up in
I just wish you’d do them with me

I want to date an artist.
I want someone to write about me.
I want to be with someone who misses me every second we are apart.

Is that too much to ask for?

We are both here and it doesn’t really matter

He is my home and I hope I never lose my key.

You are like the moon in the way you are always disappearing.

The older you get the more you realize

that some words mean more than others

did and sometimes words can even

change meanings.

But in reality they aren’t changing their

meanings, people are just manipulating

them different ways to use to their

advantage.

We are selfish but he wasn’t selfish he

was busy and he kept me wondering.

and when he posted that he was still

with her I was still wondering.

I swear I’m not naïve. I was just born

with an undeniable hope that one day

some guy will love me so much he will

do the exact opposite of what my father

did.

But in reality every time I think I am

falling in love I slowly began to realize I

am letting history repeat itself minus the

gravel driveway and the swimming pool

where I got all those bee stings.

He told me she was boring and that if he

had to choose anyone to sit beside for

the rest of his life he would pick me.

I thought that was romantic enough to

overlook the fact that he still held her

hand 6 out of 7 days of the week.

I’m addicted to trying to fall in love with everyone I meet. I’m losing pieces of myself each time. Soon there will be nothing left

Too be honest I look for your face in every car I pass and hope
That I get to catch a glimpse of your smile on the freeway.
Sometimes I wonder if we would have ever fell in love if
I wouldn’t have pursued you at the venue while asking Alexandria
Sang a song about drowning in tides that kept getting higher.
I wonder if you loved me most when the tide was rising or
When the tide was drifting back out. My guess is the latter.
I have dreamed about you 5 out of 7 days this week and
As much as I miss your smile, I’m beginning to think it
Doesn’t miss me and just maybe these dreams are
Happening to remind me to move on.
So I’ll write that on the calendar and every day I don’t
Think about you I will put a X on the day.
But a month later instead of X’s I have wrote O’s.
I’m beginning to think I will never move on.
I will find a new way to move on, I swear I’ll get around
To it one day.
My friends have heard the story of our first kiss 1000 times
But sometimes when I’m on the bus I want to grab bystanders
By their shoulders and tell them the story to remind them to never
Fall in love.
Don’t let this happen to you.
Don’t let this happen to you.
Don’t let this happen to you."

If the world ends today I will be glad I wore this dress.

You only text me when you are lonely but I still reply.

I always regret caring too much, sharing too much, doing too much, feeling too much

If your going to heaven i want to go to hell.

If this is a competition I’m losing.

If my life was a movie it would go straight to dvd.

The only thing we have in common is our blood type..

"Why do I have to feel everything for a boy who feels nothing about me

"There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room. It’s like watching Paris from an express caboose heading in the opposite direction—every second the city gets smaller and smaller, only you feel it’s really you getting smaller and smaller and lonelier and lonelier, rushing away from all those lights and excitement at about a million miles an hour."

What made me not good
Enough for you?

What made you run away from me?

Was it the way I looked
When I woke up beside you?

Did I hold your hand too tight?

I know I didn’t deserve you
But i really thought it was
Going to work out this time.

Sometimes I felt like I was
Drowning in emotion for
You and you were still
Standing at the shore.

"I hope you never forget
The night I first spent
The night in your new apartment.
That was the night I
Realized how in love I was
And how in love you weren’t.
I only wanted to feel
Close to you.
I only wanted you to
Let me in.
You put up barricades
To keep me out
And I tried to knock them
Down and only ended
Up hurting myself.
Looking back I now
Realize I wasn’t in love
Because love doesn’t
Mean bending until you break
It means compromise
Without expectations"

I pass the hotel we
Used to stay at
sometimes.

I always see your ghost
Standing out front
Holding up a vacancy sign.

Haunting.

"I could never be the girl
You wanted,
I wanted
You but I wanted
to be
Myself more.

I hope one day I meet
You in a crowded coffee
Shop on the corner of my
Favorite road.
Of course we would
Run across each other
On the day I don’t brush
My hair.
Oh wait, I never brush my hair,
So that could be any day of
The week.
My dream guy would be wearing
A sleek black suit with ray bans
Across his tanned face,
I need to stop being so
Picky, I know.
Picky, picky, picky.
We could casually exchange
Numbers over our common
Interest of bright eyes,
And of course the rest would
Be history.
As I foresee the future,
You would text me all night
Even after I am fast asleep
Because you want me to
Wake up and smile…
I would patiently await your
Call from your high
Rise business job.
Our first date would be
To a medieval times because
You already knew how much
I had always wanted to go.
After awhile hours would
Become days and days
Would become weeks and
Soon we would be married.
On our perfect day you
Would cry as you saw
Me coming down the aisle
And I would cry because
I couldn’t believe I actually
Found my soulmate considering
I never brush my hair..
We could have our first
Dance to the bright eyes
Song that had brought
Us together in that
Crowded coffee shop.
Our loving
passion would transfer
In between the sheets
When the time finally
Came and I got to
Take off my purity ring.
Every night for the rest
Of my entire life I would
Content knowing I get
To come home to you."

Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning. –Gloria Steinem

Physically, yes I can live without you. 
I can eat, breathe, and sleep easily without you.

But if I’m not sharing half of a medium pizza with you, then I don’t want to eat.

And if I can’t feel your body move up and down as you breathe, I see no purpose in breathing.

And if I’m not waking up chest deep wrapped in your arms, then I don’t want to sleep.

Missing you has become a daily routine to the point where I’m so use to it that sometimes I don’t even realise that I still miss you.

I’d rather spend my entire life fighting with you than spend one second loving someone else.

I want to wake up at 2am with a kiss from you, not a text message.

the irony of somebody telling you everything is going to be okay when they’re the reason it’s not going to be

But thats the thing, I keep saying I want someone to be there but I really just want you.

Cheating is not a mistake.
If you’re truly in love with someone, you will not be able to kiss someone else without tasting your loved ones tears stain your lips. You will not be able to take your clothes off for someone else without feeling like a field ripped bare to its soil. Cheating is a choice, its a choice you made because you obviously didn’t give a single fuck about your relationship.

I promise to love you:

at 6am when you’re waking to go to work, to school, or whatever road life takes you on, and when you didn’t sleep well, your hair is a mess, and your eyes are sleepy.

at 8am when we say goodbye for the day and you’re rushing out the door with a cup of tea and your car keys in the other hand.

at 5pm when you’re exhausted from the day and people have worn you out and you feel like crying, and falling asleep and escaping from everything. I will kiss your forehead, and wrap myself in your arms.

at 10pm when you’re heading to bed, even though you won’t sleep for hours. Especially when we become a human knot wrapped up in sheets and kisses.

at 3am when loneliness and sadness do not destroy you, but consume you and when you weep without an explanation, I’ll kiss your lips softly and tell you you’re the absolute best and that things will be better soon

I will love you when you grow old, and I will love you after that. I will love you if I’m no longer here. I will love you, I will love you, and I will love you.

I was just thinking about someone else touching you and now I can’t decide on whether I want to break their hands or my own.

I’m not the girl your mother warns you about. I won’t kiss your best friend or break your heart. I won’t make you choose between what you love to do & me. I’m not cold. I’m not reckless.

I’m the girl your father mentions when your mom’s not around. I’m the girl that gets away.

I will love you more than anything. I will kiss you when you cry. I will stand by your side until you decide otherwise.

And you’re just like your father, so you will. You’ll let me go and I won’t look back, but you will. I promise you, you will. I’m that girl.

"When I look up at the stars, I can’t help but to wonder if you’re looking too."

Once upon a time, nothing hurt and
everything was beautiful.
Once upon a time, my eyes were
as bright as the moon.
Once upon a time, you loved me.
Once upon a time, my chest didn’t
ache, and it wasn’t hard to breathe.
Once upon a time, life was beautiful.
Once upon a time—
there is no once upon a time,
because that means my story
has come to an end;
darling,
my story is just beginning—
and so is yours.

"Note to self: you lived without him before, you can do it again."

"I wish I could have
at least told you
goodbye;

but I didn’t know there
was a goodbye
to be said."

"I thought about you today.
My heart didn’t hurt,
my chest didn’t ache,
and I smiled."

I suppose I can’t blame you, really.
It was me who put my fragile heart
into your hands, and it was me
who thought that your words
of love were true.
I mean, you never promised me forever,
you never even promised me tomorrow.
I was lucky enough to get three years
of your friendship.
So, I suppose I can’t blame you,
and I don’t regret you either;
and I truly hope you’re happy,
and that you’ve found everything
you were ever looking for,
even if I’m a not part of it.

"I can feel it deep within my bones.
Something resides within me,
reminding me that it’s almost time
for me to go;
it’s almost time
to say goodbye."

People are pieces of
the universe,
stitched together
with hope and magic.
"

"Your weight determines
your relationship with gravity;

but it should never determine
your relationship with yourself."

You promised me that
you would always love me,
and never leave.
I promised myself that
I would never let myself
believe you.
I guess neither of
us are very good at
keeping promises.

"i. i no longer love you.
ii. i am truly happy.
iii. breathing doesn’t hurt so much anymore.
iv. i love myself.
v. i’m looking forward to tomorrow."

"i. The way your lips tasted like whiskey.
ii. How your hands set my body on fire.
iii. The way your lips made my name sounded like a prayer.
iv. What it felt like to get drunk off your kiss.
v. The look in your eyes when you stopped loving me."