We all start as strangers. It’s just a shame some of us also end that way.

"Don’t watch me laugh with other guys with a disapproving look when it’s your fault I’m not laughing with you."

 I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do. I want to be around people that dream and support and do things. 

Do you miss me when you hear my name?

"A jednak trzeba się sponiewierać od czasu do czasu w imię czegoś. Rzucić się w przepaść i poczuć, że się frunie. Bez tego może i bezpieczniej, ale nijako."

 We were like the first sip of tea
daring, burning, and tingling
We became the last sip of tea 
lukewarm, bitter, and forgotten 

"It was wrong. But it was worth it."

 I don’t miss anyone who chooses to walk away from me because my soulmate would stay. If you walk, you’re not a loss. 

"Pośród wielu jej wad jedna okazała się nie do przeskoczenia: ona ciągle coś czuła, analizowała, co czuje, dlaczego tak czuje, co oznaczają jej uczucia, dlaczego analizuje, co zanalizowała, że czuje, i czy na pewno to czuła, co zanalizowała?"

aries –

it’s time to stop fighting battles that aren’t yours. these knots under your skin won’t untangle themselves and you deserve to remember what peace is. you’ve always been afraid of dial tones but please call them and either say you love them or you’re done.

taurus –

please come home. you have been out in the cold for far too long and have made your point a million times over. how are you supposed to live with only your demons for company? your marrow may be freezing but you are stronger than you remember.

gemini –

you are more than the rocks you stack in your pockets, your idle Lady-of-Shallot dreams. you have an impressive way of fooling those around you, but I will replace these heavy weights with flowers every chance I get.

cancer –

deep cool forests exist behind your eyelids and you should really visit them more often. tension headaches appear for a reason and relaxing will do you much more good than harm. sit back and feel the blood move through your body; there is truly a rhyme and a reason.

leo –

being so emotionally available can truly be exhausting. you don’t need to be everyone’s therapist; please make sure you’re still in touch with yourself. if you dance barefoot too long, sooner or later you’ll step on a splinter.

virgo –

there is a signal fire under your skin but you will never blister. you were made to withstand the heat and the ashes under your eyes only highlight your determination. though they may try, no one will ever capture the thick smoke rising to the sky.

libra –

if you remain still for much longer, moss will claim you as its own. I understand that you have been hurt before but you cannot let it cripple you forever. you would not let another person bully you the way you’ve been breaking your own kneecaps, so it’s time to let go.

scorpio –

others have told you you’re as fragile as paper-pressed flowers and you may be beginning to believe them. don’t. question everything you’ve been accepting as truth recently because you’ve been living with half-closed eyes.

sagittarius –

your refusal to waste anything is admirable, but the world won’t end because you let your tea steep too long. a removal of bitter things from your life is in order; crack your elbows into place and start sweeping. even gold filigree tarnishes if you forget to care for it.

capricorn –

your heart has been cross-stitched onto your palm yet you keep wondering where the twinges of pain come from whenever you extend a hand. do not base your self-worth on the now-raggedy representation of your deepest desires; reassess, pull stitches, and start somewhere new.

aquarius –

the sunset routinely reflects in your eyes, but like many things, you are too busy to notice or comprehend. you refuse to write in pencil yet curse yourself when you make mistakes, forever saying you have no time to stumble, but a scrape is better than a fall.

pisces –

things will balance out like they always do. I am not sure what comfort you need in this moment but everything contains a ripple effect and relief is honey sweet. your cold sweats will vanish soon, for the sun also rises on the darkest of days.

 She left a piece of herself wherever she went, and maybe that’s why she felt so empty. 

 But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human. 

 I tell myself I am searching for something. But more and more, it feels like I am wandering, waiting for something to happen to me, something that will change everything, something that my whole life has been leading up to. 

after that, we act like it never happened.
like we never happened. like he never wrote me a song
and like he never read the letters i wrote him.
like all those stories were never told and those 
secrets were never shared. just like that.
we pass each other in hallways like strangers.
we talk to each other like strangers.
it’s almost like everything
that we were only 
exists in my
memories.
sometimes it makes me wonder if we ever did happen.

“Did you come here because I was alone?” I asked.

“Yes, I did,” she said.

“That’s nice,” I smiled. “I needed that.”

Not knowing what I meant for you still drive me crazy.

I knew,
I knew from the very first start,
from the very first look,
from the very first word,
that you are going to be just another lost cause
that you are going to be untouchable,
that you are going to leave.
And I knew,
that you would meet a lot of new people,
people that are popular, fun, and attractive,
and sooner or later I’ll fade into the background -
I’ll be just another person that belongs to your past.
And I hate the fact that you proved me right,
darling, you proved me right.

But then i barely know you. You never tell me about your family and your past and im too scared. Too scared that if i ask you, you’ll say “who the hell do you think you are”.

The only thing that scares me now is the possibility that we’ll become strangers again

You stand so close to me and just your presence makes me feel so warm and safe and i never want you to leave ever again

You are my first (unrequited) love. The first boy I’ve ever cried over. The first boy that ever broke my heart. I used to think that we had a chance, but now I see that our relationship was truly one-sided.

You texted me tonight. You asked me (yet again) for something I don’t have. If this was last week, I’d think you really want to talk to me. But I had been too blind to see, that you treat me like everyone else. Lesser than everyone else. You ignore my existence.

I’m lucky that it happened today. Because I realized that I have nothing left for you to take. Absolutely nothing.

Was I sure that I was in love? Definitely not. All I was sure of was that if he called at four in the morning just to say hello, I’d answer. I still would, despite everything that’s happened. I think I always will. It’s hard to let go of the flame, no matter how badly it’s burned you. Ten years from now if I met him on the street, I think I’d stop dead in my tracks to ask him how he’s been. I’ll always long for something with him. The first fire that’s ignited always burns the longest, and he’s a forest fire in my heart.

He and i
Had something beautiful
But two pieces of puzzle
That doesnt come from the same box
Will never fit
No matter how much
Support, effort, and hope
That has been put.

—I just want to feel okay but im a lone piece of puzzle and my edges had just been bruised trying to fit with another

Taking naked pictures of yourself does not make you a bad person. People who share them without your permission are bad people.

She would have swallowed the sun to make you warm enough. She was nothing but love

you only loved her as a convenience fuck, only wanted her beside you when your ticket was up, only kissed her when you were good and drunk

she would have swallowed the sun to make you warm enough. she was nothing but love. she was nothing but love.

you couldn’t treat her right. something about you was boiling inside. somewhere between the whiskey and the broken dreams, you’d turned into lava. people like you don’t deserve good girls with their open hearts and hair that smells like flowers. people like you melt others down into molten rock. you felt fists fly from your mouth but you couldn’t stop. you were dynamite ready to go off. you were an explosion. she was not.

she asked you to kiss her gently sometimes, to say her name nicer, to make her feel wanted. she asked you to stop waiting to love her until she was naked. she turned gentle for you, caring. she asked you so little and gave you everything.

you told her not to clutch your shirts so tightly, she was creasing them all wrong

in the morning you discovered that your shirts were ironed and that she was long gone.

That’s why love is madness. It’s too easy to lose your mind when you lose your heart

“no man wants a woman like that.” that’s fine with me. i don’t want a man who judges me for showing off my body. in fact, some of us don’t want a man at all. sadly for you, i don’t dress to impress strangers. i dress because it’s summer, and i’m hot, and i don’t just mean the temperature. and for the record? when i do dress for my man in skimpy little booty shorts? he doesn’t seem to have much of a problem with or without it. he loves me for who i am and not the purpose i serve as an object.

and i am not an object. i am not an object. you don’t get to sum up my personality based on my clothing. you cannot hold a book and look at the cover and tell me the whole story. you cannot look at me and know anything. i am not just a book. i’m a nation of libraries.

i do not become unholy for a strapless dress. i do not lose myself for daring to wear a skirt with a slit up the leg. “ladies, your body is sacred, make sure you dress in clothing i personally find demure and satisfyingly modest” sounds a lot like you think you’re a god and only you can determine whether or not i'm worthy of eternal damnation. 

i got news for you, buddy.

i’m a goddess. i don’t ask for permission.

“we were going to last forever. they were going to write poems about us.”

Taka Miłość, po której każda następna musi okazać się mniejsza, taka, do której porównuje się wszystkie inne, przez co te wszystkie inne skazane są na porażkę."

"Umarłem przez Ciebie, chociaż właśnie dla Ciebie tak pragnąłem żyć."

Dziwne, jak wielką lukę może spowodować w czyimś życiu utrata jednej osoby. Ta luka którą po sobie zostawiają, nie ma rozmiarów innej ludzkiej istoty. 
Ta luka jest tak wielka, że mógłby się w niej zmieścić cały świat."

"Jeśli się ośmielisz, będziesz w stanie dokonać wszystkiego. W głębi serca sama o tym wiesz i to chyba przeraża cię najbardziej."

"Życie to ciągłe pożąda­nie - im mniej prag­nień, tym mniej życia."

"Kto dużo wie o in­nych ludziach, może być człowiekiem uczo­nym, ale ten, kto ro­zumie sa­mego siebie, jest bar­dziej in­te­ligen­tny. Kto pa­nuje nad in­ny­mi, może jest i sil­ny, ale ten, kto jest pa­nem sa­mego siebie, jest jeszcze silniejszy."

"Sil­niej­sza oso­bowość - sil­niej­sze cier­pienie, straszniej­sze upad­ki, większa am­pli­tuda przeżyć. Być sil­nym - to boli."

"Najgłębszym, najintensywniejszym pożądaniem darzymy tych, którzy są zakazani."

"(…)patrzysz na mnie, ale mnie nie widzisz."

"A przede wszystkim nie wybaczę ci tego, że dziś jestem taka jak ty. Jestem równie niestała, równie płytka, egocentryczna i twarda, równie wyniosła, równie złośliwa…"

"Jeśli chcesz coś robić, żeby tylko zrobić, to nie ma najmniejszego sensu. Masz patrzeć przez pryzmat celu i efektu. I działać zgodnie z założonym planem."

"Jeśli nie wiesz, co robić, zawsze kieruj się sercem. Nigdy rozumem. Rozum pełni funkcję kalkulatora. Będzie za Ciebie liczył, podpowiadał. Ale to jedynie suche, nic nie znaczące wskazówki. Rozum nie ma nic wspólnego z tak zwanym szczęściem. Tym ulotnym, niezdefiniowanym do końca zjawiskiem, które przydarza się nam tak rzadko. A jednak właśnie dla tego zjawiska warto żyć. Wyobraź sobie, że twoje życie to zupa gotowana w wielkim garnku. Mieszasz ją i dodajesz składniki. Te zdrowe, według przepisu. Ale smaku w niej wciąż brak. Dlaczego? Bo żaden przepis nie został stworzony dla ciebie. Ty musisz ugotować i doprawić własną zupę życia. Tak, żeby ci smakowała.

 If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. 

 Look at me. Fucking look at me and remember. I dare you to try to tell me I never meant anything to you. That every kiss and every secret spilled has been forgotten. Try telling me that you don’t dream about me. Or that you don’t still hope it will be you and I in the end. Because we both know if we saw each other again it would be as if I never left. You’d still love me and I’d still love you. Our love isn’t the kind that’s so easy to forget. 

I dare you to forget

 Darling, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t think about you at night, he doesn’t see your face in a crowded room. He forgot the color of your eyes, even though he told you he had never seen something that beautiful. He doesn’t talk about you and about how bad he misses you. He doesn’t remember what it feels like to kiss your lips. Sweetheart, he doesn’t care about you, and you chasing him, only makes his ego bigger and your pride smaller. He doesn’t love you anymore. I’m so sorry. 

Let him go.

"Finding a real friend is as hard as finding a true lover."

"Sometimes it’s the princess who kills the dragon and saves the prince."

"Some won’t appreciate you no matter how much you do for them. Release yourself. Go where you’re appreciated and understood."

Why did you ever ask me to give you a chance when you know you’d easily give up? Why did you ever promise you’ll always be there when in the end, you’ll only walk away?

 

Why did you ever make me fall in love with you when you never had the plans to catch me at all?

 

EL // You could have saved me from this heartbreak

I remember everything I want to forget

I guess sometimes we both lose our minds to find a better road.

I always seem to miss you when you’re not here.
But then once you are, I can’t wait for you to leave.

 I have the bad habit of reading the last page of a story first to see whether it’s worth reading. Believe me, if I could have seen the ending of us before we started, I would never have bought the book. 

I am happy when I eat fresh fruit, when I burst out laughing, when I discover a new song, when I finish a good book, when I wake up and feel relaxed. I’m glad to have friends, family, a home, food when I’m hungry, hot water when I shower. I love being able to live and see the seasons change, to have gifts at Christmas and at my birthday, to travel sometimes, to have a good education and a great access to culture. I’m flattered when people compliment me, when people smile at me, when people are polite to me. There are so many things that make life so simple and easy and I will always think about them more than all the bad things that will happen to me. I do not have time to be sad every day and ungrateful ; I have every reason in the world to be happy. 

A few reasons why I’ll always prefer living 

Don't you think there is always something unspoken between two people

"The most selfless thing I’ve done was fight the urge to ask you to stay."

If you think of me when your mind is lost in daily life. I’ll know I mean more than the girl whom you think of in the dead of night when you are lonely.

"I’m learning to be okay with the fact that I may never be yours again but I can’t help but hold onto the hope that maybe I will be yours again someday."

Don’t do this to her. Don’t try to love her if you don’t know how to.

If you don’t know how to love her with everything you have, I beg you, fucking let her go.

You need to be the one thing in her life that’s constant. You need to stay with her when she needs you there at 3 in the morning and all she wants is to hear your voice telling her that it’ll be okay. You need to make your arms a home to her and your smile a safe haven. You need to kiss her scars and stitch up her open wounds. You need to love her. You need to love her for all that she is.

If you can’t do this, if you can’t give her the kind of love she truly deserves, then don’t waste her time.

She needs someone that will make her see the galaxies bursting inside of her, a person that will kindle her spark, not someone who will dim her light. You need to be this person.

So I’m begging you, please, if you can’t be this for her, if you can’t love her in the way that she needs to be loved, in the way she’s been dreaming of for so long, let her go

 know you’ve lost someone and it hurts. You may have lost them suddenly, unexpectedly. Or perhaps you began losing pieces of them until one day, there was nothing left. You may have known them all your life or you may have barely known them at all. Either way, it is irrelevant — you cannot control the depth of a wound another soul inflicts upon you.

Which is why I am not here to tell you tomorrow is another day. That the sun will go on shining. Or there are plenty of fish in the sea. What I will tell you is this; it’s okay to be hurting as much as you are. What you are feeling is not only completely valid but necessary — because it makes you so much more human. And though I can’t promise it will get better any time soon, I can tell you that it will — eventually. For now, all you can do is take your time. Take all the time you need.

"

 I don’t fear commitment. I fear wasting my time. 

 

You are not a collection of those who have loved and left. You are made of stars and courage and every square inch of you is precious. You are not your mistakes. You are made of fire and water. Your body is the perfect combination of grace and hope. You are not the chances you have missed. You are the moment where the sun rises on the horizon. You are not what has happened to you. You are the constellations on a clear night. You are not the days you feel broken, you are the days you wake up full of possibilities. You are not your medication. You are a map of your life and anybody would be lucky to explore your shores. You are not the days of hopeless despair. You are a product of your conquered and ongoing battles. You are a maze of passion, light and kindness. You are not your bad days. You are how you tell your bones to carry you, even though you are sure they are splitting into smaller fragments with every step. You are not the ways you tried to kill your pain. You are the way you make it to bed every night, convinced every morning you wouldn’t. You are your struggles. But don’t allow people to make you think you are damaged. Damage allows things to flourish. With each breath you are blossoming, into the most beautiful flower. Healing is a process. But nobody comments on how long the flower took to bloom, they simply stand mesmerised by its intoxicating colours and beauty. People give flowers as a symbol of forgiveness, hope, compassion and love. You are more than you think. 

You don’t have to justify yourself. You don’t have to reveal how you have grown. Just bloom. Just be.

 

 

The thing about missing someone is that you want to continue missing them.

When this aching feeling becomes the only thing left of this person, it’s the last hope you can hold onto. More than once in a while, you think about where they are in the world or what they are doing and if they ever stop to miss you too.

 

“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”

“It’s just so out of control. Life, I mean. The way it flies off in all these different directions without your permission.”

“the most beautiful thing we can learn, is how to let go;
of grudges,
the past,
poisonous people.
it’s a great measure of courage.”

I deserve more, and I know that now. We would’ve been so great, you would never have wished for more than I would’ve given you. But you never gave it a chance. So now you’ll never know what could’ve been. Maybe someday you’ll regret it, maybe someday you’ll think it was the best decision you ever made, but maybe someday you’ll see me walking, smiling and happy, alongside someone who’s also smiling and happy because they have my heart. Maybe then you’ll stop and realize what you’re missing, because someday, someone is going to thank you for letting me go.

 At first, I wrote to forget about you. And now, I write to treasure you forever, the way I never could before. 

 I have cried for you and cried because of you many times. But you never notice my pain, even when it’s done right in front of you. 

 Don’t settle. Don’t finish crappy books. If you don’t like the menu, leave the restaurant. If you’re not on the right path, get off it. 

 She looks at him once more, with infinite longing, infinite sadness. 

do you ever get sad over someone who once made you happy

"How long does it take the human brain to realise something is gone forever?"

You asked me on the day you left; “Where would you be if we had never met?”

I knew the point you were trying to make,
That maybe I’d be better off having never met you.
That maybe I’d be happier having never met you.
I said nothing, I had nothing to say.
I just watched you walk away.

But if you asked me today,
I wouldn’t hesitate before telling you, that if we had never met,
I know exactly where I would be.

I would be walking from corner to corner of this godforsaken Earth,
Trying for the entirety of my life,

To find you.

If I got to do this all again, I’d still choose you

Somebody asked me if I missed you, and I was lost for words because I’m not sure if I miss you, or just miss who you were

I hope you find somebody to call at three in the morning when you can’t sleep but you feel so alive and need to share everything with somebody.
I hope you sleep out under the stars with your best friend, both completely off your face but nobody really cares.
I hope you go on midnight drives with them on the road to nowhere, listening to music that makes you feel like that moment is all that matters in the world.
I hope you find somebody worth living for, because being able to say you’d die for somebody is easier than saying you’d live for them.
I hope you find somebody who’ll forgive stupid stuff and I hope you learn from it.
I hope you find somebody that makes you happy to be waking up at 6am for.
I hope there’ll be somebody who you’ll never miss, and if you do, it won’t be a case of just texting them to say you do, it will be walking 200 miles just to tell them that they crossed your mind.
I hope one day you call somebody for 48 hours straight, talking about what happens after death, about nothing at all, about everything inbetween.
I hope one day you’ll end up meeting somebody who you end up totally 50/50 with, nobody ever trying hard than the other, no strings attached.
I hope that whether all of this is with one person, or shared out among so many others, you get to experience it.
And I hope for the love of Christ that you never take those people or moments for granted.

I hope you get to live through the moments I wanted to share with you

"Hope is not pretending that troubles don’t exist. It is the hope that they won’t last forever. That hurts will be healed and difficulties overcome. That we will be led out of the darkness and into the sunshine."